EPISODE NUMBER: 11039 (December 17, 2014)
GUESTS: Phil Klay
SEGMENTS: Intro - 12/17/14 | Stephen’s Beloved Studio | Stephen’s Yard Sale | Cold War Update - Normalized Relations With Cuba | Phil Klay | Sign Off - Scratch-Offs
SUIT REPORT: Black Pin Striped Suit | White Shirt | Black Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Tonight, author Phil Klay drops by the Report to discuss his new book, “Redeployment”.

As I sit here on my couch, drinking my coffee on this day, December 18th, the day of the very last Colbert Report episode, I know I will remember this day always. There is so much more going on in my head than I can fathom. I got home yesterday from a trip to New York where I went to see my final taping of the show from Tuesday, the 16th. (taping reporT to come soon) Now as I sit here trying to organize my thoughts on that and balance it with today’s momentous event, it almost seems too much to handle.

I just try to keep thinking about the new show. Yesterday, (Dec. 17th) before I departed for home, I went to see Stephen’s new home on Broadway. The Ed Sullivan Theatre is magnificent. I am so excited for the new show and the fact that Stephen is moving on and into such a great space makes it easier to deal with the end of the best TV show ever, The Colbert Report.

This episode is the penultimate show. The footage from the yard sale was finally shown, but there was no foreshadowing. I was wondering if Grimmy would show up early but I guess they are saving it. This week has been business as usual with Stephen covering current events, but I do hope they dispense with all that for the final show and make it all about the show itself and about what will finally happen to the character.

To open the show, they had this play on words, referencing the yard sale:

The opening “jump over” word:

Not sure what “the shark” is referring to. Anyone?

“This is my last show that is not my last show”

I’d just like everyone to know that if this episode guide isn’t finished in a timely manner it’s probably because I’ve been spending way too much time virtually going through the studio. You go too! I’ll still be here.

Intro - 12/17/14

“Tonight, I find a great new way to make a quick buck. I’ll tell you how for just 5 dollars. Then, the President normalizes relations with Cuba. Now if he could just normalize relations with Florida. And my guest, Phil Klay is an author and Iraq veteran who just won the National Book Award. So that’s one thing we won in Iraq. NASA has found Methane on Mars, though I believe it originated from Uranus. (hand pops up from under the desk for high five) This is The Colbert Report!”

Stephen’s Beloved Studio

“Tomorrow, I will conclude my final broadcast, say my fond farewell, my angry adioses and my lukewarm ‘later’s and walk out. Then everything in here will be shredded and sold as industrial meat filler to a national fast food chain. Now I can’t say which one because they are sponsors, but let’s just say…(singing McDonald’s jingle) ba da ba ba ba…it’s White Castle”

There is a way to explore the studio if you’ve never been to the show or if you’re like me and want to see every square inch of it up close. It’s an interactive guide from “the friendly nerds” at Google Maps and Electric Pulp, that takes you to the set, where you can click on…

• For instance, you can see my “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots” and learn that I put them on the shelf back in 2005, to mark the 5th anniversary of the Supreme Court’s Bush v. Gore ruling. It’s not the toy I wanted, but the store was all out of ‘Hungry Hungry Scalias’.

Stephen commissioned the street artist JR, who was a guest a few months ago to do a rooftop mural.

• JR’s work has appeared around the world and it’s established him as one of the most important street artists working today. He could even be the next me… I mean Banksy.

Here is what the mural looks like:

It’s Stephen’s eye. Yeah. That’s badass!

• I just wanted to leave you, the Nation, my watchful gaze that protected you for so long against threats you could not see. Also, I wanted to freak out people stuck in a holding pattern over LaGuardia.

Stephen’s Yard Sale

A couple months ago, Stephen had a yard sale in the show’s waiting room. A lot of people dropped by to buy memorabilia.

• Over the years, I’ve acquired so many meaningful keepsakes from the show, leftover Vacsa products, pints of Americone Dream and my one of a kind Michael Stipe, who has been sitting on my shelf over there for three years.
• (Michael Stipe) Could someone dust me?
• Hey, that’s you in the corner, it’s me in the spotlight. Read your contract!

Stephen and crew put out lots of stuff and opened the doors:

What did he do with the money? Why scratch tickets of course! along with a bottle of Nesquik and…Hostess snowballs?

Cold War Update - Normalized Relations With Cuba

The last Cold War Update segment talked about the recent bombshell revelation that we can all go down to Cuba and get cigars! WOO-HOO!

Interview - Phil Klay

Mr. Klay (looks like clay but rhymes with sigh) wrote a book called Redeployment, a collection of fictional short stories based on his time in Iraq.

Nation, I will expand more on these last three segments so stay tuned!