October 15, 2014 - Justin Simien
EPISODE NUMBER: 11011 (October 15, 2014)
GUESTS: Justin Simien
SEGMENTS: Who’s Attacking Me Now? - Larry Page | Tip/Wag - Barack Obama & Stan Lee | Sean Hannity’s Question of the Day | Justin Simien | Sign-Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Grey Pinstripe | White Shirt | Yellow and Blue Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, October 15, 2014
I got Stephen’s pen in mid air as he threw it down in anger:
This episode was so silly and fun, and those are the best! Stephen was mad at Google for getting his height wrong, which as of Oct. 16th, 4pm EDT, was still wrong. I don’t know, Page, how hard is it to change one number?
Sean Hannity practices more fair and balanced journalism by trash talking Obama about workouts. I just don’t know…another segment with a whole lot of facepalming.
Who’s Attacking Me Now? - Larry Page
Stephen talks directly to Google CEO Larry Page. They have a Google Cam, apparently.
“I’m not asking to be listed with circus freaks like Conan at 6’4. Nobody wants that, they don’t live long, they’re like Great Danes. He already has hip dysplasia. I just want the height I deserve.”
Stephen gives advice to those who see the Google car, to remind them of his height:
Tip/Wag - Barack Obama & Stan Lee
Obama is keeping nukes program to destroy asteroids.
Stan Lee’s phallic superhero character names:
“This past weekend was New York City’s Comic Con and the biggest comic book announcement this week came from Marvel’s Stan Lee, creator of The Thing, The Hulk, Iron Man, Mr. Fantastic, Cyclops and presumably even some characters that aren’t named after his penis.”
The Pope as a Catholic Superhero and his nemesis:
Sean Hannity’s Question of the Day
Stephen demo’s how Sean Hannity rammed Obama unnecessarily into the segment:
Stephen’s new segment:
“While Sean Hannity delicately shoots his jujitsu guns and can barely lift a 2-pound scimitar, I work out like a real man. Every morning I get up, make a protein shake, and then throw it in the face of a jaguar. Then I crab walk for 25 miles and stab a mountain in the heart.”
Interview — Justin Simien
“My guest tonight wrote and directed the new film ‘Dear White People’. Oh no! I think they’re breaking up with us. Please welcome Justin Simien!”
Stephen: You self-identify as a nerd?
Justin: I do.
Stephen: I understand you also self-identify as gay.
Justin: Yeah, that’s true.
Stephen: Is there any chance you might end up gentrifying yourself out of your own neighborhood?