April 2, 2014 – Dan Harris
EPISODE NUMBER: 10084 (April 2, 2014)
GUESTS: Dan Harris
STAFF CAMEO: Glenn Eichler
SEGMENTS: U.N. Climate Change Report | The Word - Silent But Deadly | Silicon Valley’s Cosmetic Surgery Boom | Dan Harris
SUIT REPORT: Grey suit | Blue Striped Shirt | Deep Blue Diamond Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, April 2, 2014
WHA-CHA! Stephen starts the show doing some moves.
U.N. Climate Change Report
- Anyone who knows me knows that I am a well known outdoors man. I mean just going out to the car and back, I’m out there twice a day.
- The global warming whiners at the U.N. have just released a report that I predict will raise the urine levels in your pants.
Best part of this segment that had me doubled over laughing:
(TV snippets of people reporting)
Brian Williams: Dire warning, the prediction tonight that climate change could destabilize human society.
Scott Pelley: A new U.N. report raised the threat of climate change to a whole new level.
TV Guy: Scientists say we’re running out of time.
TV Woman: Food and water shortages, floods, droughts.
MSNBC Woman: Melting ice caps, heat waves, droughts, floods, wildfires and cyclones …
Bill Murray: Dogs and cats living together MASS HYSTERIA!
(from Ghostbusters)
That was really the only possible way to end that whole massive collage of fear-mongering.
The threat is so dire that they have added a new color to their color coded charts. Now blazing red is not the highest level, it’s deep purple.
- Call me when it hits ultraviolet and I know, the human eye can’t see that but we’re not paying attention anyway.
Another environmental group paints a much rosier picture, ExxonMobil. Right.
They contribute money to the American Petroleum Institute which lobbies against legislation to help solve Climate Change.
- The government in action, increases Exxon’s share price. Exxon then uses that money to influence politicians. It’s a phenomenon called the greenhouse effect. Also, the green Senate effect. They spread it around.
The Word - Silent But Deadly
Tennessee has requested 10 execution dates all at the same time. They have only executed 6 people since 1960 so to request them all at once is unprecedented.
- Oh you gotta do them all at once, that’s how you get the free sub.
- The scarcity of lethal injection drugs has forced states to scramble for substitutes. It’s kinda like when you run out of half and half and have to put skim in your coffee…I mean, just kill me now.
I couldn’t agree more. To have to put milk in coffee instead of cream or half and half? I’d rather not drink coffee at all.
Some good quotes from The Word:
Folks, these botched lethal injections all share one fundamental problem.
“Poor Execution?”
You know you’re getting a quality product when the slogan is, ‘Don’t tell anyone where you got this.’
Some outside agitators called, ‘the people they’re going to execute’ filed suit in November, demanding to know what’s being injected into them.
“Needle-to-know basis”
Americans support the death penalty but don’t want to know how the sausage is made. By the way, until we know how they’re killing people, I’d stay away from Tennessee sausage.
Silicon Valley’s Cosmetic Surgery Boom
All the companies Stephen invests in:
I was in on the ground floor of tumblr, flickr, raptr and harvstr, which scours the internet looking for other start-ups discarded ‘e’s for resale.
If you are approaching 30 and work in Silicon Valley, you are ancient. So there has been a plastic surgery boom. Men are getting work done to appear younger.
Glenn and his totally realistic facial hair are developing a snap-shirt device. It keeps your collar straight. Stephen gives him $10,000,000 to develop it.
Interview - Dan Harris
Stephen: Your new book is called, “10% Happier: How I tamed the voice in my head, reduced stress, without losing my edge and found self-help that actually works - A true story. I’m afraid that’s all we have time for, thank you so much for coming.
Dan: I spent a lot of time in the research for this book hanging around self-help gurus who promise they can solve all your problems through the power of positive thinking.
Stephen: Why can’t you?
Dan: Because it’s impossible, can you?
Stephen: Yes.
Dan: You can?
Stephen: I’m cool. I used to not be happy all the time and then I just grew a pair and manned up.
Dan: (laughing) That’s awesome, that’s awesome.
Stephen: I do what men do. We stuff it down! (makes gesture putting his hand in his inside pocket) We take the bad feelings and stuff it in til our heart explodes at 53.
Dan was embedded in Afghanistan and after he came back he had a panic attack while reporting live on the air on GMA. He revealed that after he came back from the war zones, he self medicated with Coke and Ecstasy. He was eventually put onto the religion beat and thought he didn’t turn to Jesus, he started to do meditation.
Stephen: What religion did you find meditation in?
Dan: Buddhist meditation.
Stephen: Okay and will that meditation be something that helps you when you are eventually sent to hell?
He gives Stephen and the audience a lesson in meditation in 3 steps:
1. Straighten your spine and close your eyes.
2. Focus on your breath going in and out.
3. Everytime your mind wanders, go back to focusing on your breath and you will be then focused on the present moment and what’s most important.