January 15, 2014 - Gabriel Sherman

EPISODE NUMBER: 10047 (January 15, 2014)
GUEST: Gabriel Sherman
SEGMENTS: Ad for America | Sport Report - Uneducated College Athletes & Peyton Manning’s Sponsor Shout-out | Alpha Dog of the Week - Francois Hollande | Gabriel Sherman | Sign Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Navy Blue Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Ad for America

How could I do this any better?

There is an ad campaign for USA tourism, which features the best America has to offer. Of course, that’s not the USA that we who are from the USA know and love.

The secret is out! We all parachute while eagles land on our arms, here in America. Happens all the time.

“The lines at Eagle Arm Canyon are gonna be insane.”

Sport Report - Uneducated College Athletes & Peyton Manning’s Sponsor Shout-out

For the second night in a row, we get a Sport Report. Tonight, it’s about college football athletes and Bud Light.

“College sports is an $8 billion industry, roughly the size of the NFL. If college athletes learn math they’ll be able to calculate their share of that money is 0 percent.”

The University of North Carolina has college athletes who can’t read. Well, one academic counselor there, is saying that they read at a 4th grade level.

Ms. Willingham (from TV): I mean, we may as well just go over to Glenwood Elementary up the street, and just let all the 4th graders in here.
Stephen: Why? How fast can they run the 40? Can they really take a hit?

Next up, Peyton Manning is apparently a huge fan of Bud Light. In fact, he loves it so much he made sure to mention it by name in a press conference after a game. It’s so nice when a person loves something so much, they’re willing to give it a shout-out without getting paid a cent.

After the big win last Sunday, the only thing on Peyton’s mind was getting a Bud Light. That makes sense. That’s all that athletes think about after winning a huge game, mentioning a beer by name, instead of just saying “a beer”.

Alpha Dog of the Week - Francois Hollande

This was the French version of the Alpha Dog. If I could do an audio gif of the dog bark sound effect I would, because it was very french and would be worth it. “Le woof!”

Hollande had four kids with a woman that he was never married to.

• He clearly can’t commit, even to what country he’s named after.

He started to have an affair with a journalist, but never got married to her either. Then he started cheating on her with 3rd woman.

Interview - Gabriel Sherman

He certainly seems to know his subject. Roger Ailes is described by Mr. Sherman as a charismatic leader who is both revered and feared by his underlings. Kinda sounds like God, or Jesus.

Jesus is way more liberal though.

Mr. Sherman said that it took three years for his book to be compiled because the people who work inside Fox News were afraid to speak honestly, that they might be followed, their phones tapped etc. It’s all very Nixonian.

In this exchange, I could tell that Stephen knew beforehand, that Sherman had not actually interviewed Ailes:

Stephen: How much time did you spend interviewing Roger Ailes? Was he a good guy? Did you like spending all that time with him?
Gabriel: He did not want to participate in this book.
Stephen: Then how do you know what he’s like? This is all just conjecture and hearsay. You know nothing about my friend Roger.

Then the audience turned into a professional wrestling audience. (Thanks to Conan.)

Gabriel: I have been attacked relentlessly on the internet, but don’t believe any of it.
Stephen: Why, doesn’t the internet have as much credibility as your book does?
Audience: OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!
Gabriel: I had fact checkers spend 2000 hours vetting this book, last time I checked I don’t think the right wing websites have fact checkers.
Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!

Stephen: So at 8am, he sets the agenda for the day, for what people are going to talk about, but Fox and Friends starts at 6am. Is that why for the first two hours, they seem so confused?