January 7, 2014 - John Seigenthaler

EPISODE NUMBER: 10042 (January 7, 2014)
GUEST: John Seigenthaler | Father James Martin
SPECIAL GUEST(S): Peter Grosz (Time Traveling Brandy Thief)
SEGMENTS: Donald Trump and Fox & Friends vs. Global Warming | Income Inequality Debate | Income Inequality Debate – Jim Martin | Time Travel Research in Cyberspace | Sign Off – “A Big Heart Open to God”
SUIT REPORT: Grey Pin Striped Suit | Blue Shirt | Yellow / Blue Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Hello, Hubsters! In this episode, the geniuses at Fox News discuss global warming. Their truthiness tells them that it’s BS. Next, Pope Francis has the audacity to stand up for the poor. Father Jim Martin discusses this issue with Stephen, prompting Stephen to think that Father Martin has taken a page from Michael Corleone. Then a time traveler appears on ‘The Report!’ Great Scott! Hide your brandy, folks!

Finally, in a wonderful interview with John Seigenthaler, Stephen asks a question about Al Jazeera America that will personally go down as one of my all-time favorite interview questions from Stephen: “Is it liberal or is it fair and balanced?” You gotta have a take!

Donald Trump and Fox & Friends vs. Global Warming

• Of course, folks, science tells us that if it ever gets cold, global warming isn’t real.
• And that’s not just me, folks, that also noted climatologist Donald Trump. Who today tweeted:

“This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bulls**t has got to stop.”

• And if there’s one thing Trump knows, it’s expensive bulls**t.
• But if one day of below-average temperatures doesn’t make you question climate change, then maybe one minute of ‘Fox & Friends’ will.

Steve Doocy: “Talk about an inconvenient truth, wait until you hear how much Al Gore’s book is selling for right now.” Blond Fox woman: “There’s a picture that’s now circulating on Twitter. You can see this right here. [Picture of ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ with a price tag of $1.00] And it shows the price of his book on the so-called global warming crisis. Well, it’s melted to just one dollar. It’s also labeled a “super buy.” Super buy! No word on exactly where this picture was taken.”

• Well done. All the best news reports end with, “I don’t know where we got this.”
• What kind of science cost only a dollar? Other than those little pills that expend into spongy dinosaurs.

• This calls into question, folks, all low-cost books of any kind. I mean, how could the Bible be true if they give it away for free in hotels?
• Maybe I shouldn’t banish my wife to a tent during her time of blood.

Income Inequality Debate

• Chairman Mao-bama has got another tentacle on his Tiananmen squid. Read your history books. That’s accurate.
• It’s a new agenda of class warfare.

Steve Doocy: “The democrats think that they’ve got a winner in income inequality.”

• And Doocy knows all about income and inequality. While he makes a nice salary, they still pay the Brown-Hair Guy Who’s Not Steve Doocy in Snausages.

• Leave it to the democrats to attack the one thing America still makes - vast wealth disparity.

“Billionaire Home Depot founder, Ken Langone says wealthy people are upset by Pope Francis’ position on capitalism. And he’s told Cardinal Dolan that the Pope’s critique of capitalism so enraged one potential donor that the donor’s holding back on a seven-figure contribution.”

• Evidently, Langone took Cardinal Tim aside and said, “Timmy, look, I’m trying to raise money for St. Pats. But my billionaire buddy says your guy back in Rome is busting his balls. Tell Pope Frank, ‘Ixnay on ickle-tray, oun-day.’ And he should understand that because it’s Latin. And while you’re at it, see if you can talk to him about getting his guy upstairs [Shows graphic of Jesus] to tone it down.”
• Money is like pizza and f**king. Even when it’s bad, it’s pretty good.

Income Inequality Debate - Father James Martin

Stephen: You know, there’s no greater Catholic than yours truly. But what’s the Pope’s angle on this one? Why is he gunning for the big-money people?
Father Martin: Jesus tells us to care for the poor and the Pope said, you know, I care for both - the poor and the rich alike. But he has a responsibility to tell everyone that the rich need to care and respect for the poor.
Stephen: But he’s not attacking the poor. He’s attacking the rich. He’s gotta attack both of them, if he loves them both. Okay? That’s in the gospel. “Do unto others as you would do unto all of them.”
Father Martin: I’ve been reading a different translation, I guess.

Father Martin: We are meant to love the poor as individuals. We are meant to help them as much as we can. Jesus tells us that we’ll be judged in the Last Judgement for how well we took care of the poor; the least of our brothers and sisters. And so, if you have problem with Pope Francis, then you have a problem with Jesus.
Stephen: That really sounds like you’re calling in muscle. “You gotta problem with me; you gotta problem with my buddy!” That’s what you’re saying! You realize you sound like a mobster right now.

Time Travel Research in Cyberspace

• A pair of physicists at Michigan Tech University have finally done something useful, by searching the internet for evidence of time travelers.

“They used social media to see if they could spot a time traveler by searching for posts about events that hadn’t happened yet. For example, they looked for any Tweets mentioning Pope Francis back in 2011.”

• Well, it seems logical. If you’re an advanced civilization from the future that has finally unraveled the mysteries of space-time, first order of business is to blow your cover with #Pope Francis.
• Although, personally, if I could time travel I’d go back to 1930s Germany, sneak up on a sleeping Hitler and Instagram a disrespectful selfie.

• Unfortunately, despite the scientists thorough search, no time travelers were discovered. Yet somehow I know that in the future those guys won’t be receiving anymore research grants.
• Anyway, that settles it. Time travel does not exist.

Stephen: Who are you?!
Stranger: I am The Time Traveling Brandy Thief. I have appeared on your show in the past.
Stephen: Wait. In the past? That’s impossible.
The Time Traveling Brandy Thief: Oh, is it?! Then where did I get this newspaper dated yesterday?!
Stephen: Oh my God! So you’re telling me that time travel does exist?
The Time Traveling Brandy Thief: Well, I think you’ll find the answer in that bottle of brandy under your desk.
Stephen: There’s a bottle of brandy under my desk?
The Time Traveling Brandy Thief: Not anymore!
Stephen: Brandy thief!!

The Time Traveling Brandy Thief: You see, Stephen, what you fail to grasp is that a study purporting to disprove time travel may have actually done the opposite.
Stephen: Are you suggesting that we may all be time travelers? That the present is, in fact, just a future of people riding the time stream from the past?
The Time Traveling Brandy Thief: Uh … yes … yes … maybe .. .I don’t know. I’m getting a little confused about who’s from the future and who’s not.

Stephen: Now you’re the primetime news anchor for Al Jazeera America.
John: I am.
Stephen: Okay. Who got to you and how? Who turned you? When were you radicalized?
John: I wasn’t radicalized, but this summer they approached me and asked me to anchor their primetime newscast.
Stephen: Do they have your family members some place? If this is Stockholm Syndrome just blink and breathe.

John: Al Jazeera America is part of the Al Jazeera media network.
Stephen: Which is part of the Al-Qaeda media network?
John: We can bust some myths here, because it is absolutely not part of the Al-Qaeda network.
Stephen: Al-Qaeda America. Whatever you want to say.
John: Al Jazeera America is one of the largest news organizations in the world. We have 71 bureaus around the world, we have 12 bureaus in the United States. We cover 130 countries with broadcasts around the world. We do serious fact-based journalism.

Sign Off - “A Big Heart Open to God”

So, what did you think of this episode? Please share your thoughts with us in the comment section!