April 10, 2012 — Richard Hersh

Nation, some days I have to do this show, no matter how sad I am. Tonight is one of those nights. I mean look at me, my part is all over the place, my knot dimple is off centre. I might as well be in sweat pants. And it is all because of this ... No Rick. Rick I loved you, but not in a man on dog kind of way.

No one uses it more effectively than 78 year old cyber punk Senator Chuck Grassley. Over the weekend Grassley caused a Twitter storm, by responding to Obama's criticism of the Supreme Court with this Tweet:

Tough talk, sure. Tough to understand, oh yeah. But I believe Grassely is just trying to prove that he is a fiscal Conservative by refusing to by a vowel.

You should try my Salsa ... Chunky.

I love sleep. It's the second most fun thing you can do in bed. The first being breakfast. This is a family show.

It's bound to keep your guns safe. What thief would ever think to look for valuables under a mattress. But is the bed bunker system enough to hold all my weapons? Infomercial: The safe holds up to 35 rifles and 70 handguns. What a relief. Not only will I sleep better knowing that all my guns are right beneath me, but I'll probably do some other things better in bed., knowing that I got all that fire power down below. Again I am speaking of breakfast.

Plus this bunker is great for when I'm in the bedroom and hear a suspicious noise and have just a few seconds to get up, push the mattress over, fetch the key tapped behind the curtain rod, open it, select the perfect weapon from my 34 rifles and 70 handguns and open fire on the bastards. But remember you have got to win this fire fight, because if you don't, those criminals will now have access to 104 weapons. As good as this whole system is, I'm not sure I can wait a whole 10 seconds to get my guns.