February 21, 2012 — Robert Kagan

Now for those of you unfamiliar with the New York club scene, let a 'playa' explain to you, how a bottle of Vodka you get in the store for $35 can cost $500. You see, if they bring it to your table and it costs $500.

I have owned this story, since last June when I formed Colbert SuperPAC, with one simple yet noble goal, to raise massive amounts of money. And I did it.

It's no surprise folks. I have always been a trend setter, ever since I single-handedly popularised the 'Bell Bottom Crotch'. Let's them drop, let's them drop. Keeps them warm, when they're swingin'.

Really? Would someone who doesn't like kittens, have one in each hand?

And these are no mere props purchased right before the show. These are my beloved pets, Whiskers and, and other Whiskers. I love these two little kittens and I will continue to do so until the moment they become cats.

He's right. It's not enough to say the other guy is a bum. You have to destroy your opponent, with a mountain of ads depicting him as a shady drifter, riding the rails, burning the constitution in trash fires for warmth, and leaving in his wake a trail of dead prostitutes. That costs serious money.

In light of Mr. Obama's reversal on Super PACs. I have just one thing to say ...

Arrr, welcome young Pac Walker. Feel the power of the green side. Embrace your destiny, join me and together we will rule the galaxy. For 4 years, after that, it'll be someone else, maybe Hilary. But in the mean time, the galaxy!! You are now 'Darth Bama'!!

Yes, Ultimate Taser Ball has done the unimaginable. They have made soccer interesting.

The obstacle of the game is to put a giant over-sized soccer ball into the other teams net without being tased. To determine the final score, you take the number of goals minus the number of tongues bitten off. Then afterwards, everyone hits the showers with a toaster.