March 16, 2016 - Theo James, Jussie Smollett, Laurie Anderson

Posted on by

Episode GuideEPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 112 (Wednesday, March 16, 2016)
GUESTS: Theo James | Jussie Smollett | Laurie Anderson
SPECIAL GUEST(s): Ben Higgins | Lauren Bushnell | T.J. Miller
STAFF CAMEO(s): Meredith Scardino
SEGMENTS: Monologue - Stephen Has An Important Message For Your Echo | Super Tuesday Part Three Proved They Need to Retire the Franchise | Theo James | Jussie Smollet | One of the Top Candidates for Mission to Mars Stops By | Laurie Anderson Performs a Special Song for Dogs
SUIT REPORT: Grey Suit | White Shirt | Navy Striped Tie

Stephen looking a little slighted when hunky Theo James references his salt-and-pepper mane.

Hi Hubsters! We’ve got one more episode before spring break, and despite our fearless host still battling a weird virus of some kind, tonight’s offering was both fun and rollicking. We do miss the show when it’s off the air, but also wish Stephen and the ‘Late Show’ crew rest and all that good stuff so we can all come back a little refreshed.

This episode begins with Stephen attempting to instruct the home viewer’s Amazon Echoes to perform various tasks, since they obey any human voice, such as reading all the numbers of pi, and of course, programming themselves to tune into ‘Late Show’ every night. But we do that anyways, right!

Meredith is chilling off to the side again and they discuss Stephen’s illness, and she also weighs in on recent happenings of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Stephen does a convincing job of making me believe (as a viewer) that he actually watches these shows. By chance, The Bachelor 2016, Ben Higgins, and “Lauren B” (Lauren Bushnell) are in the audience. Stephen has spoken about Lauren quite a bit, so it was nice to see her.

We then transition into politics of course, with a hilarious treatment of Ben Carson’s reluctant support for the Trump campaign. Stephen then focuses on remaining viable candidate Ted Cruz, and his strange tic (the man is all strange tics, really) of telling everyone that they are “welcome” to his campaign.

I will have more to come, but please let us know what you think of the show in the comments!

Monologue

  • I’ve been trying to rest … I’ve been on the internet a lot. I’m a bit of web-head, I don’t want to brag. I like to find the out-of-the-way hidden corners of the internet. I stumbled across a gem recently, you might enjoy it, it’s called amazon.com. [..] If you order just like 2 AA batteries, it comes packed with 30 sealed bags of Chinese air. And now Amazon’s got this new voice activated gadget called The Echo. […] It’s named for the cavernous hollow spaces where retail stores used to be.
  • The Echo only activates when you say its name, Alexa. It’s a pretty name. Much prettier than its earlier name the Privacy Destroyer Spymight 5000.
  • Alexa, read me Pi to the 5 millionth digit, don’t stop even if I tell you to!

Made-for-TV couple Lauren and Ben are all smiles in the audience at “The Late Show.”

Stephen: I like watching The Bachelorette too. Because I like watching the greased up man cubes that they bring in, you know guys who look like they just did 50 push ups right before the camera went on…I want to see those guys.
Meredith: I like The Bachelor, because sort of like in the middle of the season when it’s down to 10 girls, and they’re all uniting to get this one bad seed out, like the kind of girl who will fake head trauma just to get like 5 minutes of alone time. I feel like her name is Alexa, too.
Stephen: See? Love is real, you saw it on TV.

Super Tuesday Part Three Proved They Need to Retire the Franchise

  • Of course the reality show everyone is talking about is the presidential election. […] Big round of primaries last night, so people were calling it Super Tuesday Part 3, and like all sequels, it’s getting predictable and very expensive.
  • On the Democratic side, Hillary shut out Bernie 5-zip, including Florida. It is just so sad to see Bernie betrayed by the people he most resembles. Over on the interesting side, Donald Trump had a huuggge night. The size of the hugeness: large. He won 4 out of 5 states, then delivered a stirring Victory Tantrum.

Donald Trump: Nobody has ever, ever in the history of politics received the kind of negative advertising that I have. Can you explain it to me, because I can’t: my numbers went up! I don’t understand it. Nobody understands it.

Stephen: For once, we agree with you. WHAT’S HAPPENING!

Ben Carson: I have to look at what is practical. I didn’t see a path for Kasich, who I like, or for Rubio, who I like … Is there another scenario that I would have preferred? Yes. But what scenario isn’t available.

  • That is a rough endorsement. I tell ya what the bar’s about to close, you’re not getting any younger, neither am I, let’s get married.

Ben Carson: The way I that look at it, even if Donald Trump turns out not to be such a great president … we’re only looking at four years.

  • Yeah, I mean how much can go wrong in 4 years? World War II just flew by.
  • To secure the nomination in Cleveland this summer, Kasich would have to get 116% of the remaining delegates. We’d have to make him governor of every remaining state, plus some states we don’t even have yet. He’s looking very good in North Kentucksylvania and Massachissippi. They love him down there in Massachissippi. Massachissippi which fought on both sides of the war between the states. We are so proud of both our craw dads and our chowder. Massachissippi will rise again!
  • Cruz is the only guy remaining who could mathematically beat Donald Trump. He’s got a message for every other Republican.

Ted Cruz: (Over and over again) We welcome you with open and welcoming arms.

  • Yes, come. Yes, come … don’t resist, children. I welcome you with open arms. Shh! No, shh … here, have some butterscotch, I’m your father now …
  • [If Cruz wins nomination] The GOP can say “goodbye candidate we don’t like,” [Trump], “hello, candidate we can’t stand.” [Cruz] If Cruz can’t there is one [other option.] A brokered convention.
  • The Republican campaign could start all over again, but this time it’s crammed into one week. You can binge-watch the death of the GOP!
  • Not “brokered,” but “open.” “Honey, we don’t have a broken marriage, we have an open marriage. And I know we never discussed it, but it’ll spice things up, you know, to bring in an outsider. And I think we’ll trusting each other even more.”

Interviews

Then onto the hunky actors portion! Both Theo James and Jussie Smollett are cute and charming, and ya know, plugging their projects.

Theo discusses the universal sexiness of English accents, filming action movies and emoting with (or despite) CGI effects, and creepy acting exercises he experienced in drama school. They give each other left-handed compliments in trying to say one nice thing to one another.

Justin is on deck next, and he runs over and bro hugs Jon Batiste. He and Jon have worked together in the past. He talks about his TV show and also his new record deal - he is both actor and song writer/musician. And fashionable. Triple threat! He discusses his large family, and how most of his siblings are still in show business. He tells Stephen he is not “old white guy” like the old TV executives he and his family encountered when starring in a sitcom on ABC in the ‘90s. Stephen is, rather, “mother of pearl.” Stephen brings up the fact that Justin’s mom was a Black Pathers supporter, which led to a nice exchange:

Stephen: You grew with a sort of activist attitude. Do you feel a responsibility in your position as a public figure to speak out on political issues?
Justin: Yeah, I feel more than anything a responsibility as a citizen of this nation, and a human being in the world. It’s so important. You know, we live in this world together, and if we pulled together we wouldn’t have the reality of a presidential campaign that we have right now.
Stephen: You’re probably right. I don’t know what I’d be talking about every night.
Justin: It’s really good for comedians.
Stephen: Isn’t that sad? […] This is the fifth presidential campaign that I’ve been doing jokes about, and each one you think “it’s not going to get crazier than this.”

One of the Top Candidates for Mission to Mars Stops By

Comedian TJ Miller returns to “The Late Show” as a slacker candidate for NASA’s Mars expedition.

  • If you’re a young, eager, energetic go-getter, NASA does not want you. And frankly, the rest of us are a little sick of you, too.
  • If colonists discover life on Mars, we don’t want them to do something stupid like not eat it.
  • So we’re starting to get a picture of the kind of late-sleeping, meat-eating colonist NASA wants to send to Mars.

Donnie Barnette: Thank you Stephen for having me, I was glad I was able to wake up.
SC: Is the training hard?
Donnie: I’m not going to lie, you gotta really want it. […] I order a little ‘Hut, Meat Lovers obviously, then I pet the dog […] and before you know it, I’m back in bed, sleeping like a little baby.
SC: What about the psychological isolation, the effects of being alone, are you used to being alone?
Donnie: […] They got ladies up there [on Mars] with the tic-tac-toe [3 breasts.]
SC: You know [“Total Recall”] is just a movie, right?
Donnie: Stephen, they wouldn’t make a movie about it if it wasn’t real.

Laurie Anderson & Performance

The ep closes out with musician Laurie Anderson describing how long held wish to put a concert for dogs becomes a reality. She performs for an assemblage of dogs and they seem very relaxed by her earthy, string-heavy composition.

  • I really liked Jussie Smollet. I thought it was hilarious when he said that Stephen isn’t exactly white…he’s mother of pearl! It was really cool when Smollett went over and shook Jon’s hand. It’s nice that they know each other. Overall, it was a great interview.

    TJ Miller was really funny as the slacker candidate for the Mars expedition. Stephen was holding back his laughter when Miller took out that meat from his pockets! I hope he shows up to do more characters on the show.

    I love how much we’ve been seeing Meredith Scardino. Stephen and Meredith have great banter together and I love their conversations at the top of the show. I particularly enjoyed the web bonus when they discussed “Downton Abbey” last week. (I’m a nerd for Downton!) It is wonderful see Late Show crew members with Stephen!