January 6, 2015 - Jerry Seinfeld, Rand Paul, Andra Day

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Episode GuideEPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 65 (Wednesday, January 6, 2016)
GUESTS: Jerry Seinfeld | Rand Paul | Andra Day
SEGMENTS: Everyone Feels the Bern at the ATM | Much Ado About Something | Jerry Seinfeld Does His Best Tight Five | Jerry Seinfeld | Rand Paul | Andra Day - “Rise Up”
SUIT REPORT: Blue Suit | White Shirt | Maroon Patterned Tie

Monologue

Bernie Sanders has hit upon a campaign issue that all American’s can get behind: ATM fees. The average fee for using an out-of-network ATM is $4.50. Ridiculous. Stephen does a very funny impersonation of Sanders and the many everyday things he might complain about.

Much Ado About Something

Stephen beautifully discussed President Obama’s executive action on gun control and the President’s emotional response when talking about the victims of gun violence.

  • The plan may not do anything, but at least the President is doing something even if that something will do nothing. Because that’s better than what we’ve been doing up till now which is nothing. Because doing nothing leads to something and that’s acceptance. Acceptance that nothing will ever be done. But if enough people do something, even if it does nothing, maybe one day someone will do something that does anything. And wouldn’t that be something?

Jerry Seinfeld Does His Best Tight Five

Seinfeld: The donut hole. Let’s stop right there. What a horrible little snack. If you want a donut, have a donut! Why are you eating the hole?! It’s such a freaky metaphysical concept to begin with. You can’t sell people holes. A hole does not exist. Words have meaning!

Interview — Jerry Seinfeld

Seinfeld: You gotta enjoy that people want to be President or that they even think… The idea, let’s be honest, the idea that anybody thinks they should be President - you gotta be out of your mind! You gotta be crazy! All these people, they’re all crazy.
Colbert: You look at 300 million Americans, you go, [pretending to look in a mirror] “That guy, right there.”

Interview — Rand Paul

Colbert: So explain to me and for the people out there, what is a Libertarian? How are they different than a Republican or a Democrat?
Paul: In sort of general terms, Republicans haven’t been very good with your personal privacy or your personal liberty, but Democrats haven’t been very good with your economic liberty. They want all kinds of rules on business that interfere with the marketplace. Government on the Republican side has a government that wants to collect your phone records, be involved with what you do in your home. And Libertarians say, “You know what?” They want to leave you alone no matter what. Whether it’s your business or your private life.

Andra Day - “Rise Up”

  • Marla Selinger Lecin

    The segment about Obama’s Executive Action was The Word, just without the graphics and closing line!

    • Gina

      You got it!

  • Gina

    Wow! This ep had everything. Like Maria said, a Word, then Jerry Seinfeld, a very funny and charming Rand Paul, and a great musical guest. Props to J-Man Batiste for not only directing music the whole show but beautiful accompaniment to Andra Day. I laughed really hard throughout, from monologue through the guests, and I consider that a good sign. Bravo Stephen, keep it up bruh!!!!!

  • Rita

    That was a fun show! I liked the monologue (I don’t normally do) and I LOVED the Obama’s executive action bit. The Seinfeld interview was fun. You could sort of see Stephen restraining himself from cutting in at times and just try to let Seinfeld do his thing. But I loved Stephen’s space station comment: Tough room? All the jokes go over their heads? :) and the Mexico “It matters!”-part!

    • Roseha

      Hi I just saw the first half but was very glad that Stephen took a segment to show support for President Obama’s efforts to curb the gun violence in this country any way that he can - in a word-like segment as mentioned above. I feel strongly about this terrible situation of gun violence as I think most Americans do and it was great that Stephen gave it the time it deserved in a mainly serious vein.

      The interview with Jerry Seinfield was fun, I agree there were a couple of times when Stephen topped Jerry, intentionally or not, first the Space Station joke then about Warren Harding: “He wasn’t funny” “But he was so corrupt!” However they both seemed to be enjoying the conversation.
      Looking forward to the rest of the week!