EPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 51 (Tuesday, November 24, 2015)
GUESTS: Spike Lee | Andy Cohen | Carly Simon
SEGMENTS: Monologue | The All-Seeing NostraDonald | Spike Lee | Andy Cohen | Carly Simon | Carly Simon — “I Can’t Thank You Enough”
SUIT REPORT: Navy suit | White shirt | Navy patterned tie

Hello Hubsters! We had a great show last night. Stephen told us about getting de-Biebered, predicted the un predictable, and sang with Carly Simon. There were  also great interviews with Spike Lee and Andy Cohen. Here is your guide!

Monologue

At the top of the show Stephen gave us the news that he got de-Biebered. Justin Bieber had to cancel his appearance on the show yesterday due to some personal reasons. Stephen hopes everything is okay, and he then read to us the tweet that Justin wrote to the LSSC Twitter. In the tweet Justin gave Stephen and the show the sacred Canadian sorry.

•  He’s saying sorry. No, no, listen. He’s Canadian, so when he says he’s sorry I believe him. That is a sacred trust in Canada. So I belieb him.

Justin also wrote a tweet to Stephen. Stephen will remember that tweet forever, and will celebrate that moment in his own special way.

• A lot of Justin’s followers wait their whole lives for a tweet from Justin himself. So, uhhh, to memorialize this I’m gonna have my iPhone bronzed.

The All Seeing NostraDonald

Thanksgiving is only a few days away, and to get in the spirit Stephen named something he is thankful for… Donald Trump. People are talking about Trump on many programs, including one on CBS with that funny guy who’s on at 11:35pm.

Trump has recently been in the news saying that during the 9/11 attacks he saw people in Jersey City, New Jersey cheer as the buildings collapsed. The accounts that Trump has been speaking about were rumors, and have been proved to be false by the police. Trump continues to say that he saw this happen, and is the only one who remembers the event.

• No, not good, also not true. But, if it was, he was apparently the only person who ever saw it because “there is no evidence the alleged celebration ever took place.” And, I had my crack footage team look for it, nothing. I gotta tell you, my guys are the best. Anything I name they could find instantly. Here’s a challenge, uhh let’s see, can you guys find uhhh, a woman giving a psychic reading to a possum. ( Footage of a woman giving a psychic reading to a possum appears) Boom! 2 possums.

Despite the fact that the events Trump has been speaking of have proved to be false, he continues to stick by his claims. According to a news reporter, Trump gave her his evidence that this event took place, “Although he doesn’t remember where exactly he saw that video. He does know he saw it, because he has “ the world’s greatest memory.”

• That’s right, he cant remember exactly where he saw that video, but he can remember that he has the world’s greatest memory.

Trump not only has the “world’s greatest memory”, but apparently he’s also “psychic”. Trump wrote a book in 2000 claiming that Osama bin Laden will do damage to the U.S. But, someone might want to tell Trump he doesn’t have a sixth sense.

• Yes, Trump predicted that Osama bin Laden was threatening America all the way back in the year 2000. The same year bin Laden was linked to the bombing of the USS Cole, and only two years after bin Laden was indicted for the embassy bombings in Tanzania and Kenya, and only seven years after bin Laden was implicated in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing. That is spooky, it’s like Trump has some kind of fifth sense that let’s him see what’s in newspapers and on tv’s.

Stephen then goes on to show that Trump is not the only one who can predict the predictable.

Here are some of Stephen’s predictable predictions:

• Next year there will be an iPhone 7, and then right after that an iPhone 7s, which will be almost exactly the same, but for some reason you will buy that too.
• A frozen yogurt shop in your neighborhood will open and close within the next year.
• James, author James Patterson will publish a book that may be purchased at the airport.
• The weather is about to get colder. Followed by a warming trend in the spring, and then a heat wave in the summer.
• ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2’ will be playing this Friday at the Times Square AMC at 6:45, 9:15, and 11pm. 
Peace in the Middle-East is… pretty darn unlikely.
• Stephen Colbert will lose his fortune cookie prop, and then he will find it moments later.
• Crowds will continue to be easy to pander to, especially here in New York City, the greatest city in the world.
• No matter what he says or does, Donald Trump will still do pretty well in the polls.

Stephen got out of his trance. He’s not quite sure how Donald Trump is able to use his “sixth sense”, but maybe it has something to do with the hair.

Interview — Spike Lee

The very talented and tenured film professor at NYU, Spike Lee, was on the show to promote his movie ‘Chi-Raq’. This movie is about the South side Chicago area, and the violence that is going on there. Stephen mentioned that “since 2001 more Americans have died in Chicago, than Iraq or Afghanistan combined.” In the interview Spike Lee talks about the violence in Chicago, and the changes that need to be made to help stop this violence.

Colbert: What’s the root of this violence? What’s causing it?
Lee: Well it’s many different things . But, I think that one thing I really hope people come out the film, when they see it, is that we have to have a real discussion about guns in this country. I’m not talking about taking away anybody’s second amendment rights, but there is certain things we can do, tougher background checks, we can title guns like cars. I mean Chicago is on a very very tight gun control law, but you get in a car, and 20 minutes, half an hour, you’re in Indiana.

The two also talked about the movie, and how the idea for the plot of the movie came from the greek satire ‘Les Estrada’.

Colbert: Do you think that would work in Chicago? Cause, I understand that there’s one woman in Chicago that from just seeing the trailer, actually started a sex strike.
Lee: She’s up to 37 people. But, I would like to say this, what’s happening on college campuses, you know what happened at the University of Missouri, where the football players got together and said unless the president resigned they weren’t gonna play. I think that, that could really, a sex strike could really work on college campuses, where there is an abundance of sexual harassment and date rapes. A college campus or university, I think that would work. By the second semester it’s gonna happen.

Interview — Andy Cohen

Since Stephen got de-Biebered, Andy Cohen was kind enough to postpone his flight back home for Thanksgiving, and be Stephen’s guest for the show. The two talked about Thanksgiving plans, and the many shows that Andy works on over at the Bravo network. Andy has his own Sirius XM radio show, and his book ‘The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year’ is now available in paper back.

Colbert: How are you so prolific and still energetic at the same time? What’s your moisturizer?
Cohen: ‘La Praire’. It’s a great moisturizer.
Colbert: Is that a real one?
Cohen: Yes, yes it is.
Colbert: Really? “La Praire”, like little house on la praire.
Cohen: Yes, yes.

The two also talked about Andy’s new show on Bravo called “Then and Now”.

Colbert: The new show is called “Then and Now”. Why do history on ‘Bravo’? Is it to go with all the geography lessons we’ve gotten with the locations of the housewives?
Cohen: Yes, exactly. You can learn while you’re judging the people on Bravo, it’s amazing.
Colbert: What are the time periods we are going back to?
Cohen: Every episode is a different year. So, the premiere on the 13th is 1994. So, we look at the events of 94’, and how they shaped what’s happening today.

Andy also talked about how his personality hasn’t changed much since he was younger. Stephen then asked Andy if he would read some camp letters he wrote to his parents when he was around the ages of 9-14. Andy read some letters, and proved his personality hasn’t changed much.

Interview — Carly Simon

Stephen also interviewed the lovely Carly Simon. Stephen didn’t ask Carly who the song “You’re So Vain” is about, but he thought maybe she knew about the origins of another song.
Colbert: People I’m sure ask you all the time who “You’re So Vain” is about. I’m not gonna ask you that question.
Simon: Clever of you.
Colbert: Thank you. I will ask you, Do you know who let the dogs out? Who?
Simon: (Laughs)
Colbert: You can get back to me on that one.

Stephen and Carly talked about her new memoir, James Taylor, and other events in her career. She also talked about her insecurities, such as when she was younger she used to stammer when talking. When she was writing about it in her memoir, it came back to her for a brief period of time. Although talking to Stephen, she felt completely comfortable.

Simon: I started stammering again. I used to have a very bad stammer when I was a child. I began to stammer again, and was very self conscious of it.
Colbert: Really just writing the book? Was it when you were writing about childhood memories that the stammer came back?
Simon: Yes, yes, because when I went to school, I could never raise my hand even if I knew the answer to something the teacher was asking, because I was afraid that it would be halted, that I wouldn’t be able to finish the arch of the answer, because I would stammer, and it wouldn’t come through the way I wanted it to.
Colbert: Is it still with you ?
Simon: Now and then. But, you’ve made it very easy for me to talk for some reason.

Stephen and Carly talked about singing with James Taylor. Stephen then asked Simon if she would sing ‘Mockingbird’ with him. She agreed, and Stephen and Simon did a lovely rendition of the song.

Carly Simon — “I Can’t Thank You Enough”

Carly Simon performed the song “I Can’t Thank You Enough” from her album ‘Songs from the Trees’, with her children. It was a beautiful performance.

Thanks for reading! I hope everyone has a safe holiday! Please feel free to leave a comment down below and tell us your favorite part of last night’s show. So long for now Hubsters!