EPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 33 (Thursday, October 29, 2015)
GUESTS: Seth MacFarlane | Neil DeGrasse Tyson
SEGMENTS: Monologue | The Biggest Loser of the CNBC Debate Was Everyone | Seth MacFarlane | Focus on the Universe | Neil DeGrasse Tyson | Seth MacFarlane - “The One I Love”
SUIT REPORT: Grey/Blue Suit | White Shirt | Navy Striped Tie | “Tyson-Inspired” Patterned Vest
Not surprisingly, tonight’s episode was a science-heavy expedition into geekdom: the purported geekiness of sci-fi loving Stephen, man of many abilities Seth MacFarlane, and of course, passionate science advocate Dr. Neil. Stephen’s nerd cred was on full display while sharing his own personal theories about current space stories inspired by ’70s sci-fi novels. It was kind of sad that someone as luminary as Dr. Tyson hadn’t been invited to Ed Sull since he attended The Ed Sullivan Show in the ’60s. Judging from their great rapport (as usual), I imagine Tyson will be a guest many times over to make it up. We also had the debut of a new segment, Focus on the Universe, complete with a hastily glued together control panel, which will certainly allow Stephen to hurdle space jokes and topics into the late night comedy stratosphere for years to come.
So far, we’ve had LSSC segments for health topics, technology, and now space, so, Late Show is finding its footing. Stephen and team are discovering segments that will allow their curiosity about, well, everything to roam freely. It’s a lot to look forward to.
Of course, Stephen killed it with his treatment of the debates. I feel like he has really taken the gloves off with the candidates, it’s the one part of the show that really has that hint of the Report to it. I am glad that character’s bravado remains a little in tact for the 2016 race, we need it.
I liked the discussion with MacFarlane about animators, and never thought about how their job is really a unique one. Macfarlane always seems too Hollywood “perfect” to me, but I admire for him for trying something new and doing some jazz ballads.
What did you guys think of the ep? Let us know in the comments. More to come. I’m seriously late for work.
Monologue
Stephen kicks off “All Hallow’s Eve Eve Eve” with some great observations:
- If you have not chose a costume by now, every second that goes by without you making a decision means you’re that much closer to being that guy at the party trying to pass off your shower cap and bath robe as a costume. That’s not a costume, that’s unemployed.
- As part of my public service, court order public service, here’s some ideas you can make with things lying around your bathroom, ok: just stick a toilet plunger on your forehead, and then put a toilet seat around your neck, and just say your a narwhal breaking through the ice.
- If you wait until Saturday, you’ll be scrounging around the seasonal aisle at CVS, and have to settle for the last rainbow wig crusted with marshmallow peep ghosts. And that point, just stay in, Hulu The Mindy Project, and just pound down the fun size snickers until you can’t feel anymore.
- And this is important, this is a message for the kids who are watching: turning off the porch lights is the universal sign for “I am out of candy.” I’m done for the night, I’m hiding in the den eating the candy that I’m out of. And I don’t know about you, but “teenager” is not a costume! Put some effort into it.
The Biggest Loser of the CNBC Debate Was Everyone
Stephen can identify with guest issues with green rooms. Author Jonathan Franzen’s green room (paper bag) was so small, it caught fire and required Stephen’s immediate assistance.
- In some ways, the debate was impressive. It managed to thread the needle between confusing and boring.
- But if I’m going to talk about the debate, it’s now or never, though never is a tempting option.
- Yes, [the moderators] opened with the one question that no one in human history has ever answered honestly. In fact, when I interviewed for this job, I said my biggest weakness was “that sometimes I work so hard that I forget to cash my paychecks.”
- That’s a great appeal to the voters. (darkly) “Ted Cruz, 2016: Get In the Car.”
- To be fair, that was just Journalism 101: Who, What, When, Where, and What the hell am I talking about?
- Listen to the Governor of New Jersey! He knows the people in his home state act like animals! Closing statements in Newark get chopped and dumped in the Meadowlands.
- Much like the campaign season itself, last night felt like an unending slog. And believe it or not, it could have been even more unending-er, it if wasn’t for the action taken by the Knight in Shining Bronzer.
- Trump 2016! Donald, you saved us from another hour and a half of that debate. You truly are a great leader, and you have earned my vote, as long as you can negotiate your presidency down from 4 years to, ya know, 2 hours feels about right.
- A toilet in a closet. Well, maybe it wasn’t an insult. Maybe the RNC just wanted Chris Christie to be closer to where his campaign has gone.
Seth MacFarlane
Seth is on deck and gets lots of praise from Stephen, who compliments him on pursuing all matter of creative efforts despite being an animator - “a pretty sweet gig.” MacFarlane says that all of the creative disciplines involved in animation make you want to learn more. Then, they move onto his new album, no one ever tells you, and his motivations for working on it. Stephen dazzles Seth with his parroting of lyrics to Pirates of Penzance. MacFarlane continues to look gobsmacked throughout the interview. He describes how he patterned his musical style after Frank Sinatra. Stephen, I might add, also seems a little star-struck with Seth. Just my spidey-stepheny-sense.
Focus on the Universe
Stephen takes us on a journey through a universe where Mars is teeming with life, and Dr. Tyson’s trademark vests are a hot look.
- This is the Universe, Home of the Whopper. I’m your host, Stephen DeGrasse Colbert. (reveals fetching patterned vest) Yes, DeGrasse. Turns out, you can’t copyright a middle name.
- Here above my ship of imagination, The Green Screen 5000, we are freed from the constraints of space and time, using these controls, a warp field neuralizer and a hot glued Speak-n-spell. We can travel anywhere our imagination leads us, as long as my graphics team can crank it out in an afternoon. Together, my vest and I will explore all the wonder of space: the rings of Saturn, the Crab Nebula, the old HBO logo. “I feel so insignificant!!!” Tonight, we visit our neighbor, Mars. I overshot it a little bit, let me just back up. (Mimics backing up a truck.)
- And we arrive at the “red planet,” Mars, named for the ancient god of war’s favorite candy bar. Mars has long been thought of as an arid dusty hellscape where no one would want to live, which is why it’s often called the “Tuscon of Space.” But an important discovery has been made on Mars: box office magic for Matt Damon. Also, NASA scientists have announced that they have found flowing water on Mars.
- How can there be water on Mars? Evidence suggests that during the night time, the surface of the planet becomes salty puddles. But where do these amazing pools of incredible liquid unbelievably come from? [..] Vapor from Mars’ atmosphere to form a liquid brine, which means if Mars is ever colonized by hipsters, the pickles will be amazing.
Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Dr. Tyson marks his first visit to Ed Sullivan since he was a very young man checking out Joan Rivers and The Fifth Dimension on The Ed Sullivan Show. Tyson reminds Stephen he was a 13-time guest on The Colbert Report. They discuss his latest science show, the latest cosmic discoveries, and Dr. Tyson uses his sexy gesticulations to illustrate said topics. Seth MacFarlane comes on (his former co-exec producer on Cosmos) on the second half of the interview. Best quote of the interview came from Neil: “Just because you don’t understand what it is, doesn’t mean it’s aliens.”