EPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 25 (Monday, October 12, 2015)
GUESTS: Carey Mulligan | Elvis Costello | Darlene Love
STAFF CAMEO(S): Liz Levin (Producer)
SEGMENTS: Monologue | Waiting for Joe-dot | Stephen Colbert’s RejecTED Talks | Carey Mulligan | Stephen Takes A Meeting | Elvis Costello | Darlene Love – “Forbidden Nights”
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Maroon/White Stripped Tie
As Stephen once said to Jon in The Toss, “Merry Columbus Day!” CNN is desperate for Joe Biden to show up to Tuesday night’s Democratic Presidential Debate. They even have a podium on stand-by for him. Stephen will not be outdone by CNN, so the Late Show rolls in their very own Biden podium. Have you always wanted to see the TED Talks that never made the cut? Stephen’s got you covered. Mr. Colbert discusses the British women’s suffrage movement with the lovely Carey Mulligan. Stephen is a busy man these days, so he has a work meeting with his producer, Liz Levine, on air. The great Elvis Costello talks about his new memoir, “Unfaithful Music & Disappearing Ink.” Lastly, the effervescent Darlene Love performs a gorgeous song that is sure to get stuck in your head. Enjoy your Episode Guide, Hubsters!
Monologue
It is Columbus Day, but, sadly, CBS did not give Stephen off, because evidentially, they do not care about the founding of the capitol of Ohio. Stephen was brought up to celebrate Columbus Day the only way that makes sense: mattress sales.
- It’s appropriate, because Columbus loved a good sale. [Or “sail!”] It’s true. Check the historical record. When he landed in America, he got 100% off all land.
- In keeping with the strict moral standards of The Ed Sullivan Theater, I will be interviewing Elvis [Costello] from the waist up.
- A new survey has found that over 1/3 of vegetarians will eat meat when they’re drunk. It’s comforting to know that we all have the same excuse for going to Taco Bell.
Waiting for Joe-dot
Autumn has arrived and Stephen is excited for the start of fall TV shows. He’s not just talking about the premiere of season 4 of Chicago Fire. Stephen is pumped for CNN’s Democratic Presidential Debate on Tuesday night.
- The last CNN Republican Debate got CNN’s highest ratings of all time, thanks to the pressing national issue of “Oh look, it’s Donald Trump!”
Stephen wonders how CNN will get viewers excited about a Trump-less debate. Unleash the secret weapon! Apparently, CNN has an extra podium ready in case Joe Biden makes a surprise appearance. CNN’s Jim Acosta speculates several outlandish scenarios of what would happen if Biden actually showed up to the Democratic Debate.
Jim Acosta: It’d be fascinating political television if the Vice President decides to join in.
That would be fascinating. It would be fascinating political television. And it’s a great new strategy for cable news - Describing things more compelling than what you’re watching now. CNN: It Could Get Interesting.
Stephen gives his own over-the-top scenario of what could go down if Biden shows up to the debate. CNN is not the only one with an over-active imagination and access to podium technology. Stephen has a podium for Joe Biden and Late Night staffers roll it out onto the stage.
- There it is, Mr. Vice President! Your very own podium! Can you imagine? Right now, Air Force Two could be heading east towards Manhattan. It dives down for a landing on Broadway, sparks flying as the wings scrape against the billboards at Times Square! Joe Biden personally piloting it to a stop right in front of The Ed Sullivan Theater. He pops the window hatch, hops out of the cockpit in a bomber jacket. Then a cop tells him, “Hey! You’re double parked!” Without breaking a stride, tosses him the keys and says, “Put it on my bill!” Then kicks down the double doors to the theater and to the roar of the audience and a pyrotechnic display I didn’t even know was legal inside here, the Vice President strides up to that very podium, puts on his aviator glasses, then whips them off again, and says, “We’re all gonna get laid!”
Stephen Colbert’s RejecTED Talks
One of Stephen’s favorite thing to “internet at” is TED Talks. Since 2006, TED Talks have had 1 billion views. Not every TED Talk makes the cut. Organizers review thousands of speaker candidates every year, but choose just 60 to 70 speakers. Stephen finds it heartbreaking that so many people put a lot of work into their presentations and they never even see the light of day. Stephen recently obtained a box of DVDs of the lectures that did not make the cut. For our consideration, Stephen lets us view some of these lectures in a new segment called “Stephen Colbert’s RejecTED Talks.” The first never-before-seen TED Talk is from a Scottish man named Angus MacDougal, who is wearing a traditional Scottish kilt. Angus’ talk is about pudding. He incorporates lyrics from Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” into his speech to make his point.
Angus MacDougal: “If you don’t eat your meat, you cannot have any pudding. It’s indisputable. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat? You! Yes, you, laddie! Pudding comes at a cost!”
The next RejecTED Talk comes from an adorable little boy named Cayden R., who goes on and on about what he did during his summer vacation.
And then I played games on my brother’s phone and then I ate more pancakes than I ever ate before. I can’t remember what I was gonna say next, but that was my vacation. And I love my grandma.
Interview — Carey Mulligan
Stephen seemed to be very enchanted by the lovely Carey Mulligan. Like so many guests before her, Carey complimented Stephen on the beautiful set. Stephen and Carey discussed Carey’s current film, “Suffragette,” which tells the story of the British women’s suffrage movement. Stephen feels oddly tied to women getting the vote in the US, because his mother was born in 1920, just two days before women could first vote in the United States. It is a very real thing to him, because it happened within the lifetime of someone he loved very much. Carey explains that British women who were property-owning, married, or over thirty got the right to vote in 1918. In 1928 all British women finally got the right to vote.
Colbert: Well, your character’s name is Maud and she’s sort of a fictionalized character, based on a lot of different women. What’s her experience? She’s not sort of a monied woman who is doing this as a good deed. This is very personal to her. What’s her life?
Mulligan: She’s a working-class woman. She works in a laundry in London in Bethnal Green, which is the East End, which is a very poor area of town back then. And she’s pretty apathetic. It was very conventional to believe that women had their place in the home at that time. And she was traditional and she doesn’t feel engaged with the political system and is sort of living with her lot - kind of getting by. And she meets these women - these suffragette women - who inspire her to believe there’s the possibility of a better life out there for her. And gaining the vote could give her the power to have a better life and so she gets kind of swept up in this big movement.
Stephen jokes that he learned about suffragettes from watching “Mary Poppins.” A very powerful clip from “Suffragette” is shown. Stephen says that he hasn’t seen the movie yet, but he admits to crying while watching the trailer. You are not alone, Mr. Colbert! They talked about Meryl Streep’s role in the film.
Colbert: Between you and Meryl Streep - which of you has the more accurate English accent?
Mulligan: Definitely her.
Stephen Takes A Meeting
Stephen explains how incredibly time consuming it is to work on the Late Show. With five one-hour shows a week and a taping time two hours earlier than he is used to, he has no time to hang out with his staff or meet with his producers. One of his producers, Liz Levin, has been desperately trying to have a meeting with Stephen for the past two and a half weeks, but Stephen has blown her off five times. To solve this time management problem, he decides to have a meeting with Liz on air. He welcomes Liz out to the stage and the work meeting begins. After working together for ten years, Stephen and Liz are very natural with each other and it was very amusing to watch Stephen interact with one of his employees. Liz asks Stephen a series of questions, while he devours some chicken wings.
Levin: [Regarding a segment they were taping] We didn’t get the part where you’re moving from seat to seat in the audience.
Colbert: Why didn’t we get that?
Levin: The truth is?
Colbert: Yeah, the truth.
Levin: Because you were 27 minutes late.
[Stephen cracks up and then begins eating chicken wings!]
Levin: We had an hour … We had one hour … This is all very real.
Colbert: This is what we do in meetings. I eat while she talks to me.
Levin: Or you watch videos of Maria Bamford or tell stories about The Hobbit.
Apparently, Stephen has a problem with being on time! Liz says that he is always late - “absolutely every single time.” He has been late for every flight and train they have ever taken. In 2007 they were taking a train to Washington, D.C. to film a “Better Know A District” and Stephen left his wallet on the train!
Interview — Elvis Costello
When Stephen announced Elvis Costello to the stage he called him, “My favorite of all time.” Stephen and Elvis discussed Elvis’ new memoir “Unfaithful Music & Disappearing Ink.” Elvis starting writing the book 10 years ago and after tearing up a few versions of it, he really went to work on it for the last 2 or 3 years. Elvis has a curse (or a gift!) for memory and can remember the events of his life quite well.
Colbert: Are you the hero of your own book?
Costello: I hope I didn’t set out to write it for those reasons. […] I did actually write one passage and it was considered that maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say, but I think it is truthful. I said there is a time when you write a book like this where you say that you don’t like the subject. In other words, there’s some things about yourself that you don’t like and that’s okay to write those down and look back at things. And then there’s other things in the story which are trying to - if not explain - at least lay out how I came to hear music the way I did. Because it isn’t just about me. It’s about my father and my grandfather.
Elvis’ father sang with a rather successful dance band, who modeled themselves after the Glenn Miller Orchestra, using saxophones and trombones. Stephen showed a clip of Elvis’ father dancing and singing “If I Had A Hammer” with his band. Elvis bears a striking resemblance to his father and not just physically. They also have the same mannerisms and dress very similar. Elvis joked, “It’s not so much the look. It’s the dance moves.”
Darlene Love - “Forbidden Nights”
Darlene Love performs “Forbidden Nights,” which was written by Elvis Costello. Steven Van Zandt and Elvis accompany Love on the song, along with back-up singers and Jon Batiste & Stay Human. “Forbidden Nights” is a magnificent throwback to Love’s pop songs from the 1960s and her beautiful voice is as powerful as ever.
This Episode Guide has reached its conclusion. What is your impression of this episode? Let us know in the comment section!