October 5, 2015 - John McCain, Yo-Yo Ma, Misty Copeland

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Episode GuideEPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 20 (Monday, October 5, 2015)
GUESTS: John McCain | Yo-Yo Ma | Misty Copeland
SEGMENTS: Monologue | A Moment for South Carolina | Whole Foods Apologies | Senator John McCain | Stephen Takes a Lie Detector Test | Misty Copeland | Misty Copeland performs with Yo-Yo Ma
SUIT REPORT: Blue Suit | White Shirt | Patterned Navy Tie

Monologue

It’s not often you learn something new about yourself in the first minute of a talk show, but tonight it seems I was on a journey of self discovery … for all of about two minutes.

“You you’re absolutely right. You guessed my name correctly. I am Stephen Colbert. Now I have to spin your straw into gold. It’s a Rumpelstiltskin reference in case anyone didn’t have a childhood.”

Tazo’s, Harry Potter and Pokemon don’t cut it as a fulfilling childhood under the Dome of Colbert? Apparently, not … *Shuffles off to read Rumpelstiltskin*

A Moment for South Carolina

Back behind the desk, Stephen took a moment to cover the flood crisis in his home state of South Carolina.

  • This is the most rain South Carolina has received in a thousand years. We know this for a fact, thanks to surviving weather reports from Kiawah Indian meteorologists.

If you want to help volunteer or donate, head to the ‘Colbert Late Show‘ website, which lists a number of charities whose relief efforts you can help and support.

Whole Foods Apologies

Because I love organic produce and I cannot stand having money.

Whole Foods has been on the receiving end of a whole lot of press lately, none of it good. From over stating the weight of pre-packaged products, to selling asparagus water, you’d think Whole Foods would have learned their lesson by now. Judging by their most recent controversy, I guess not. The food chain is under fire for the now-abandoned program, in which stores sold products from businesses that use Colarado inmate programs, paying them very little in return for their labour.

  • It’s really be bumming me out to see Whole Food getting into a whole lot of organic, gluten-free trouble lately.
  • Prison labor? But everything at Whole Foods is supposed to be cage-free.
  • The whole time I thought Farmer Bob was making my goat cheese,” Colbert said. “It turns out it was some guy named Spider.
  • Colorado Correctional Industries. Our motto is, “Our cheese is aged 25 to life, with no chance of parole.”

Interview — Senator John McCain

Tonight on ‘The John McCain Comedy Hour’ …

Colbert: You were the 2008 Republican candidate for president of these United States.
McCain: Thanks for bringing that up.
Colbert: You’re welcome -
McCain: Wait a minute. After I lost, I slept like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry, sleep two hours, wake up and cry.
Colbert: Well, if you had won -
McCain: I wouldn’t be on this show.

Next up on CBS, ‘Making Friends with John McCain’ …

Colbert: And how have you felt about the Bachman / Cain administration?
McCain: *thumbs up* Hell of a job. Could have better than this one …
Audience: *oooooo*

Taking on a serious note, McCain criticised the Obama administration’s nuclear containment deal with Iran, claiming that it does not have sufficient verification safeguards and that it gives Iran an extra $100 billion dollars to wreck havoc in the Middle East. Furthermore, McCain denied Secretary of the State John Kerry’s argument that it was either work out a deal or go to war.
McCain also criticised the Obama administration’s decision to withdraw troops from the region, citing it as one of the major reasons the world faces it’s current situation, one that is growing messier, more complicated and more deadly by the day.

Stephen Takes a Lie Detector Test

If you were an avid watcher of ‘The Colbert Report,’ you will no doubt know that Stephen Colbert had been lying about his identity for close to a decade, but now that he is host of ‘The Late Show,’ Stephen has an embarked on a journey of self discovery.

  • I’m Stephen Colbert. But for all that time, I was Stephen Colbert, loud angry man with his own ice cream.
  • He’s gone now. Luckily, the ice cream is still around […] Part of that guy will always be here, in that my aorta now has a caramel centre.

And what better way to answer the all important question of “Who is Stephen Colbert?” than to take a lie detector test.

Stephen: I’m not a sociopath, though I do like to know what they’re like, so that I can … occassionally pretend to be just like them. Which I’m not … I’m not a sociopath. Entertainers pretend to be someone different so that other people will like them, while sociopaths pretend to be someone different so that other people will think they’re human. There’s a huge difference.
John: So, maybe you’re schizophrenic.
Stephen: Not as far as I know … But, I do.

Interview — Misty Copeland

Next up, Misty Copeland, the first African-American principle ballerina with the American Ballet Theatre, graced the stage, revealing that she was a late comer to ballet, and began training when she was 13 years old.

Colbert: Ballerinas and models, that’s way too late to start.
Copeland: I had no knowledge of classical ballet. […] In my bedroom, I was choreographing to Mariah Carey and George Michael.
Copeland: I auditioned for the dance team at my Middle School to “I Want Your Sex.” Not appropriate at all.
Colbert: At 13? Did you make it?
Copeland: I made captain.

Misty Copeland feat. Yo-Yo Ma - The Courante from Johann Sebastian Bach’s Cello Suite No. 2

And a very Happy 60th Birthday to Mr. Yo-Yo Ma!!

© Jeffrey R. Staab | CBS

Stay tuned, more to come!!

  • bc0001

    “We’ve had 34000 troops in S. Korea since 1954″… as if that was a good thing…?

  • Mike Wolf

    What is the name of the song played when McCain came out, left, and the show went to and came back from commercial break? I gotta find this song.

    • Gina

      I would tweet one of the band mates and ask. I couldn’t figure it out.

  • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

    Stephen made excellent points during the McCain interview. I do not agree with McCain’s policies, but I really enjoyed the interview and felt that Stephen was very respectful of the Senator. I found it a bit odd that McCain got up and left the stage immediately after the interview. I wonder if he was angry with the line of questioning. Of course, that is pure speculation on my part.

    Where else on late night TV would you see Yo-Yo Ma playing the cello while Misty Copeland danced? It was so beautiful and classy.

    • http://www.twitter.com/milquetoast7 tamara

      I don’t think he was angry. a lot of guests, and politicians in particular, seem to get up immediately and leave, even on TCR they did this. i never understand it bc i would want to be around Stephen as long as possible. they’d have to drag me off the stage. but like they should at least wait until commercial break! -the aesthetics are awkward. i thought mccain greeting the band was awkward on screen too.

      • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

        I guess he just got away! “McMcain out.”

      • ColbertsLassNC

        I’m with you on having to be drug off stage, lol… oh to even have a minute of air-time with Stephen. 😉

  • http://www.twitter.com/milquetoast7 tamara

    Stephen Colbert Eating Things™ is my favorite

    • http://www.twitter.com/milquetoast7 tamara

      two nights in a row!! mmm chinese food

  • ColbertsLassNC

    The Whole Foods segment was life! Too funny. This weeks segment of “Who Am Me” was good but not as funny as the one from last week! I did especially love the character memories at the beginning of the segment, however. McCain’s interview was… well, let’s just talk about the awkward ending?! Not sure if there were odd feelings or if he just thought he was supposed to get up. He seemed very uncomfortable.

    Misty Copeland was awesome. Very talented dancer. Yo-Yo Ma was adorable, and I loved LSSC giving him a cake and thoughtful birthday gift.

  • Gina

    I think the use of cake in this episode is appropriate, because it was as rich as a birthday cake! I always enjoy going back and watching Stephen present the Kennedy center honors to Yo-Yo Ma. Ever since then they have had a special connection, and that was apparent in this episode. The music was just glorious, and Jon Batiste got to show off his impressive classical repertoire as well. Eddie Barbash on the sax in the web exclusive was truly beautiful, check out “The Swan” before it gets yanked I think Yo-Yo being on will pave the way for more classical artists to come on and dazzle Colbert audiences to come. We have to appreciate the classics as well as contemporary, and if you can mix them together, all the better.

    I have been reading general feedback and everyone is loving Misty Copeland/ Yo-Yo Ma! It was trending on twitter and everything. She looks like she was hand carved, so beautiful and great to see the stage being utilized for great dance performances.

    Loved another edition of “I Am Me!” Still waiting for his piece from South Carolina, he is really holding out on us or what?! Some people who aren’t yet familiar with Stephen’s comedy wonder why he is so “narcissistic” and has all these references and pieces referring to himself. I think it goes back to he point that you can easily make fun of yourself, and not hurt anyone else’s feelings. Particularly because Stephen has that capacity to tear anyone to shreds (see: George W. Bush) poking fun at yourself is a harmless way to have field segments (great for Monday shows!) and make them generally benign and enjoyable.

  • Jess

    As Donna Moss said on The West Wing; “Yo-Yo Ma rules!” He’s fantastic, the performance with Misty is breathtaking. Loved it when Stephen ran off with his cello, al though it gave me instant anxiety! According to Wiki, Yo-Yo once left his 280 year old, $2.5 million cello in a cab in NYC in 1999 (he got it back, undamaged)… Be careful, Yo-Yo!

    • K.V. Lady

      Yes, I remember hearing about it in the news when Yo-Yo left his cello in the cab! People teased him about it for a long time afterwards.

  • Katt

    Guests getting up and leaving straight away is one of my talk show pet peeves. Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t it simple etiquette to wait until Stephen finishes speaking and throwing to commercial? And surely, you would think they get some sort of instruction back stage on what to do, and when to leave, etc. If they don’t I really think they should.

  • Katt

    I was very much looking forward to seeing him in new suits when TLS started, the excitement didn’t last long when I realised it’s the same blue one(s) every night. Especially after that nice checked one he wore in Vanity Fair!

    • Gina

      Yes, why does he wear such cool stuff for magazines only? He looks so good in all these different styles, he needs to mix it up.

  • Karenatasha

    I was thrilled to see Misty Copeland’s performance, especially to the gorgeous cello playing of Yo-Yo Ma. That it was choreographed by one of my favorite dancers ever, Marcelo Gomes, was a special treat. Looks as if Stephen is continuing to give the dance world some love-and I’m thrilled.

    I personally can’t bear McCain. I think he sold his soul in the last election, endorsing things that he’d always fought against (like torture) and giving us the execrable Sarah Palin because he didn’t do his proper research. But Stephen treats everyone with respect. He’s getting tougher, though, and I’m glad.

    Always great to see Stephen eating on the show! I’m glad some things haven’t changed.

    • lockhart43

      “I think he sold his soul in the last election, endorsing things that he’d always fought against (like torture) and giving us the execrable Sarah Palin because he didn’t do his proper research.”

      I’d have to agree with you there. I lost a lot of respect for him when he chose Palin as his running mate. To me, he now sort of seems like the ornery old man in Congress. The only thing I’ve liked that he’s done lately was his send-off to Jon that was quite funny. Also, on last night’s episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, they made note of that joke McCain made about sleeping like a baby after losing the election. Apparently that’s his favorite joke, because he’s made it at least 5 times over the years, haha.

      • Karenatasha

        I saw the John Oliver and loved it. Kind of funny that he ended the montage with Stephen-but I think Stephen was the last person who had McCain on.

  • K.V. Lady

    Hmm…that’s weird that I logged in under a different name. That’s me, btw.

  • lockhart43

    The Whole Foods segment was hilarious, and these “Who Am Me?” segments just get funnier and funnier. And on no other show will you find Yo-Yo Ma sitting in with the band to celebrate his own birthday! The look on Stephen’s face when he “ran off” with Ma’s cello was just wonderful. I would not trust myself to hold that thing, lol, I’d be too afraid to drop it.