EPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 17 (Wednesday, September 30, 2015)
GUESTS: John Oliver | Evan Spiegel | Bill Withers | Ed Sheeran
SPECIAL GUEST(S): Tom Hanks
SEGMENTS: Trump, Don’t Leave! | Is This the SnapChat Election? | Stephen and Tom Hanks Ask the Big Questions | John Oliver | Evan Spiegel | Bill Withers and Ed Sheeran | Ed Sheeran - “Ain’t No Sunshine”
SUIT REPORT: Blue Suit | White Shirt | Dark Blue Tie
Monologue
Welcome to the Late Show. If Legends are true, I’m Stephen Colbert.
First things first, Stephen professed an apology for ‘not saying the name Donald Trump within 30 seconds’ of being on air. Pretty soon there may not be reason to as he’s slumping in the polls, popularity wise. Stephen attested to him being a terrible candidate for the presidency as he’s clearly divisive and offensive. Though at the same time, this is a ‘faux’ emotional time for Stephen as he pleads for him not to go away, claiming that if he does go, he’ll be subjected to talk about those other boring people upon learning their names.
Is it Marco Rubio or Marc O’Rubio?
::does Celtic-like dance::
An Ode to Tech Geeks
Stephen has a lot in common with today’s millennials. He owns a Tesla, an iWatch and prefers to use a 5-blade razor. However, with the upcoming presidential election, things will be even more advanced. With the next debate approaching us on October 13th, CNN wants to introduce it via a live-stream broadcast from a virtual platform with the help of Samsung’s VR goggles. Well, of course Stephen already has a pair of these babies, and doesn’t have to wait until the debate to watch the events unfold, as well as the back of someone else’s head!
This was such an enjoyable segment because as soon as Stephen placed the goggles upon his head, hilarity ensued. He was able to seamlessly jump into improv-mode, which is always second nature for him. He quickly shifted from mega-excitement about viewing the debate, to grabbing a drink and hitting on a [virtual] woman at a bar who was the wife of a cop.
Big Questions with Even Bigger Stars
In this new beloved recurring skit, we learn that though an ‘entertainer by trade’ and ‘slab of camera meat’, Stephen is a deep person who enjoys ‘toying with the problems of the universe.’
Stephen lies atop the faux-hillside again while facing a clear nights sky, and mutters to the person we cannot see within camera view that it’s a nice night and asks them the same. Chiming in with agreement, once the camera pans over we realize it’s none other than a surprise visit by Oscar winning actor Tom Hanks!
Between tons of adorable (and obscure) dialogue between the two, I’ll highlight some of my favorite moments.
Stephen: Tom, what would you do with a time machine?
Tom: What would anyone do with a time machine? I’d go back in time and hold myself as a baby.
Stephen: And kill Hitler, right?
Tom: Oh, kill Hitler, yeah …
Stephen: Or let the baby kill Hitler?
Tom: Well, that way … they can’t trace it back to you. And it gives the baby good sense of accomplishment.
Tom: Hey Stephen … ?
Stephen: Yeah Tom.
Tom: What really scares you?
Stephen: Oh … knowing that every time I move there’s a spooky skeleton inside my body doing the exact same thing.
Interview — John Oliver
Stephen sits down with John Oliver, who’s new show ‘Last Week Tonight’ is doing splendidly. After congratulates him on his success, he gives him a hard time about the fact that he only does one thirty minute show per week, on Sundays. John agrees with him and Stephen gives him a classic finger gesture in envy, perhaps? Ha!
But in reality, Stephen admits to loving the show and speaks for everyone in knowing that we all want to see more of him than this. John tells Stephen that ‘less is more’.
They discuss current events and of course Donald Trump comes up, whom John claims he “couldn’t give less of a shit” about. They speak on behalf of Jon Stewart and how much he is missed, though give Trevor Noah positive regards on his new tenure on The Daily Show.
On that note in closing, John says “You can’t replace the irreplaceable” … to which Stephen sarcastically adds “I wouldn’t know what that’s like …”
Interview — Evan Spiegel
Evan Spiegel is the CEO of Snapchat, and one of the world’s youngest billionaires to date. Snapchat already has a net value of $16 billion with a user base of 100 million people. When Stephen discovered that he turned down Facebook’s offering of buying Snapchat from him for $3 billion, he jokingly asked Evan if he could get an IMAX camera to take a picture of his balls.
Evan states that his underlying goal and concept with Snapchat is that you build social products for people that should change with people.
Stephen points out a new feature - rainbow vomit face - including a snap of himself in the act.
Interview — Bill Withers and Ed Sheeran
Stephen had the opportunity to interview the legendary Bill Withers (known for the classic songs “Ain’t No Sunshine”, “Just the Two of Us”, “Lean on Me”, “Lovely Day” and “Use Me”) along with 5-time platinum breakthrough artist Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran is playing in an upcoming tribute show honoring Bill’s history in the music industry, which will be held at Carnegie Hall.
Ed Sheeran remembers Bill Withers music being around him throughout his childhood and life. He says there are “certain artists you can’t remember when you first hear them, but they’ve always been there.” Stephen jokingly jabs at Withers and says that this is his way of saying “Bill is old”, but agrees that his songs are classic.
Withers has been retired since the 80’s, but enjoys amusing himself in different ways - such as watching judge shows on TV. His favorite TV personality is Judge Judy. “Once you get past 70, you don’t let stuff fester enough to get you mad.”