September 28, 2015 – Michelle Obama, John Legend

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Episode GuideEPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 15 (Monday, September 28, 2015)
GUESTS: Michelle Obama | John Legend
SEGMENTS: Monologue | Hillary Clinton’s Biggest Scandal Yet | Michelle Obama | Who Is Stephen Colbert? | John Legend | Stephen and John Legend Sing “America the Beautiful”
SUIT REPORT: Dark Blue Suit | White Shirt | Spotted Navy Tie

Greetings and salutations, Hubsters! Week number four of the Late Show is off and running. Stephen has been the announcer of the show, but tonight we heard a new voice. We have not had confirmation on who this new announcer is, but stay tuned to The Hub for updates. Hillary Clinton is embroiled in a new scandal that Stephen has dubbed “Heightghazi.” You heard it here first, folks! First Lady Michelle Obama talks to Stephen about the importance of educating girls around the globe and what is on her bucket list for her final year at the White House. Just who is Stephen Colbert? Find out when Stephen takes the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Stephen discusses mass incarceration with John Legend. It all ends with a stirring performance of “America, The Beautiful.” Sit back, relax, and enjoy your Episode Guide!

Monologue

Stephen bounded out onto stage enthusiastically, dancing with Jon Batiste and took a moment to strike a pose with Jon. We have joined Stephen on an historic day. NASA announced that they have found liquid water on Mars. Stephen is unbelievably excited. We all know what a nerd he is for space exploration. However, Stephen has a concern. He is worried about the rovers getting wet. The Curiosity Rover is not rust-proof. Stephen is hopeful that if they can find water on Mars, then perhaps one day, they can find water in California.

  • Whole Foods is cutting 1,500 jobs, saving the company hundreds of thousands of dollars, or the cost of about 6 tomatoes.

Hillary Clinton’s Biggest Scandal Yet

  • According to The Washington Post, when Clinton ran for president in 2008, she was 5-foot-5, according to a height report from the Clinton campaign. But now new sources all say that Clinton is 5-feet-7 inches tall.
  • That’s right! Hillary Clinton has added two inches. That is a tactic normally reserved for guys on Grindr.

Stephen believes that this could all be a conspiracy. Just how deep does this scheme go? The Clinton campaign has remanded silent on this shocking story.

It’s bigger than all the other scandals. That’s why I’m calling it “Heightghazi.”

  • Let’s be honest. We’re all adults here, except for the kids watching. And we all know how she bulked up. She’s juicing.
  • It wouldn’t be tough for her to hide the signs of steroid use. It’s not like she’s gonna have mood swings. She’s only got one mood: Whatever the focus group said it should be.

Interview — Michelle Obama

Mrs. Obama entered the stage looking flawlessly fashionable, as always. Mrs. Obama and Stephen discussed their dinner date at the White House State Dinner for French President, François Hollande. Stephen explained how he did not realize that Mrs. Obama was serious that night at the State Dinner when she told Stephen that he would be sitting next to her. What an honor! When he realized that it was the real deal, Stephen’s wife, Evie, told him, “You know when your mom said to you as a little boy, ‘Sit up straight and use your best manners, because someday you’ll have dinner at the White House?’ This is what she was talking about! Don’t blow it!” Mrs. Obama assured Stephen that he did not blow it and told him he was charming. As if there was ever a doubt!

Mrs. Obama: But imagine if young women, like Malala, couldn’t get the opportunity to fulfill their promise. That’s what’s happening now. So, we’re trying to shine a light on this issue, working and leveraging resources of developed countries to do more work in developing countries to make sure that those girls are getting the opportunity they deserve. And the barriers are many. It’s not just resources. A lot of it is attitude.
Colbert: What can people do to help you?
Mrs. Obama: Well, first of all, we want people to be aware of the issue. We’ve got a campaign called 62 Million Girls where we’re asking people to Tweet out or upload a photo of themselves, answering the question, what you learned in school, so that we don’t take for granted the education that we have here.

Since Mrs. Obama has only one year left at the White House, Stephen was curious to know what she would like to do with her last year.

Colbert: Is there anything on the bucket list? Anything you want to sort of do as the First Lady? Or as a person?
Mrs. Obama: Having some movement on girl’s education, because this is the kind of work that Barack and I want to do long after we leave the White House. I also want to do little things like - you know - open a window. I want to go to Target!
Colbert: I’m sorry Madame First Lady. You don’t have security clearance to open a window.
Mrs. Obama: I can’t open my windows. I really can’t. The window opens if I press it in the car. Everyone’s like, “Oh my God! What was that?!”

Who Is Stephen Colbert?

In the months leading up to the Late Show, there were countless articles on who Stephen Colbert would be on the new show. Would he be in character? Would he be himself? Many people weighed in on who they thought we would see. In a very Report-esque segment, Stephen takes a journey to find out who he really is.

  • But I am myself now. And losing the character leaves one frightening existential question:

CNN: “‘Who is Stephen Colbert?’ - is the real big question here, right? You know, what character will he play? Will he play himself?”
Local Fox Affiliate: “Stephen Colbert doesn’t really have a personality that I know of.”

  • Of course I have personality! My many interest include passions and hobbies, such as listing my interests.

To answer the very personal question of who he is, Stephen has been on a quest of self-discovery. He has taken many personality tests, including the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. The test divides humanity into 16 different personality types.

Julie Gross, a master practitioner of the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, stopped by Stephen’s office to administer the test.

Ms. Gross: …Where as, an introvert prefers to be in his own quiet world of reflection.
Colbert: I’m an extrovert in the streets, but an introvert in the sheets, if you know what I mean. Okay? Once we’re down and dirty, I’m like, “I’ve got this one. You can go.”
Ms. Gross: Thank you for sharing that, Stephen.

Stephen answers many questions asked by Ms. Gross contained in the MBTI. At one point Stephen confuses a question, thinking that Ms. Gross is hitting on him! And the results are in …

Ms. Gross: You are an INFP.
Colbert: INFP? STFU! So, INFP … is that a good one to get?
Ms. Gross: Yes. Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving. It’s typically the most brilliant, creative, intellectual minds.
Colbert: You’re not just shitting me, right?
Ms. Gross: I would never … William Shakespeare …
Colbert: Okay, not too shabby.

Interview and Performance — John Legend

Legend: Well, we started an initiative called Free America that’s all about ending mass incarceration.
Colbert: What is mass incarceration?
Legend: Unfortunately, America is number one at a lot of good things, but we’re number one at the wrong thing when it comes to this. We’re number one at incarcerating people. If you compare us to any country, no matter how oppressive we think their government is - no matter how authoritarian we think they are - we out-imprison them.

John Legend and Stephen sang a beautiful rendition of “America, The Beautiful” with Jon Batiste on the melodica accompanied by Stay Human.

That wraps up this Episode Guide. What were your favorite moments from tonight’s show?

The Hub welcomes you to share your thoughts with us in the comment section!

  • bleu

    Who Am Me? is hopefully an infinite part series. That was my favourite part of the episode. Can’t wait for the next ones. I want to find out what personality type I am, but I’m afraid to. If I get anything other than INFP (likely) I’m going to be disappointed (because who doesn’t want to be like Stephen/a brilliant intellectual and creative mind?). I predict MBTI will be getting the Colbert bump.
    When Stephen questioned whether people would love the real him, he looked so sincere and unsure. As Jon Stewart said to similar effect, people liked the Report so much because Stephen’s decency and brilliance always transcended the character. Of course people are going to love you!

    • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

      Stephen DID look so sincere and unsure. He is such a genuine person. I agree - I think the MBTI is about to get the Colbert Bump! Carl Jung would be pleased!

      • ColbertsLassNC

        Agreed - he had humble written all over him, and it was adorable.

  • http://www.reddit.com/r/LateShow/new/ Mrc

    Finally, we got to see “Who Am Me?” segment. I’m looking forward to next part of the series.

    • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

      I was really anticipating “Who Am Me” and it did not fail to impress! I loved it and I hope we will see a lot more from this series.

  • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

    I loved the “Who Is Stephen Colbert?” segment. I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator a few years ago at a psychologist’s office. (A perk of working there!) My personality type is INFP. So, I was floored when it was revealed to be the same type as Stephen. Although, I would never hold myself in the same esteem as our Fearless Leader! However, it is nice to know that we share that in common.

    I loved the interview with Michelle Obama. She is such an inspiring woman and truly altruistic. Not to mention that she always looks fabulous!

    I was so glad that John Legend and Stephen sang together once again! It was wonderful that Jon Batiste joined in on his…I’m thinking of the word…keyboard horn? Yes, that’s it - keyboard horn! The whole thing was completely joyful!

    • Gina

      Barry Julien called it a Face Piano. It’s a Melodica! :)

      • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

        Voilà! Thank you, Gina! I will include that in my Guide. Although, I like face piano better! 😉

    • juice318

      I’m an INFP! Yet another reason for me to love the man!

  • sharilyn_j

    As the fandom breathes a collective sigh of relief/pleasure over finally seeing Who Am Me…

    Lots of talk over on Reddit about the new announcer, and it ain’t positive. Certainly not the classic announcer voice you expect to hear. Wonder if it’s someone already on staff? Closest I can compare it to is Barry Julien.

    Shame that Mindy had to cancel. Her book signing in NYC last night was cancelled too, so something pretty big must have come up. Really hope she gets rescheduled soon, and as the FIRST guest would be ideal. We know she and Stephen have lots to discuss!

    • Gina

      She would have been great, it is too bad she was not on. Hope she wasn’t sick or something.

    • ColbertsLassNC

      I heart Reddit so much, but try not to get too sucked into it since i’d have zero-productivity levels at work if I did. Though it tries to suck me in from time to time with the passion of a thousand suns!

      • sharilyn_j

        I spend too much time on Reddit. This is what I’m like in /r/LateShow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td-Lb5NeFZo

        Miraculously, they haven’t turned on me yet.

        • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

          When you’re right, you’re right, Sharilyn! Or should I say Ron Swanson?

          • sharilyn_j

            I’m the love child of Ron Swanson and Comic Book Guy.

        • Susan Roy

          Totally with you on the “I know more than you” front. I am thoroughly obnoxious.

  • Gina

    Who’s down with INFP? Ya you know me! Love that Stephen decided to unveil the Who Am Me series. It was really, really brave of him to do that. Plus, we got our first field piece. Stephen definitely is the King of the Field Piece, so every one of them is a treat. He also has a really hard time when people try to tell him how he may be like to others (spoiler alert: he’s a living doll) and he gave that lady an adequately difficult time for trying to do so, but she was a good sport.
    I hope he takes her advice and embraces the hardest role he’ll ever have to play on TV: being himself. That’s a difficult role for anyone, especially on camera, but I have a feeling he is going to try very hard.

    I myself am ENFP, which is not quite on par with Stephen and company’s brilliant level, we’re just more extroverted. Also, ENFPs feel comfortable championing or campaigning for a cause. Hmm. Wonder where and for whom I do that. Hmmm.

    Michelle Obama’s affection for Stephen is unprecedented as far as First Ladies/TV Hosts go. I love it! She really gets Stephen. It’s kind of amazing that someone married to someone as accomplished as Pres Obama would be so effusive with Stephen. Hope she still comes on when she has to retire from the White House.

    • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

      You down with OPP? Ya, you know me! Thanks. I’m going to have that stuck in my head now! ENFP is pretty darn close to INFP. You definitely get your “championing for a cause” side from our Fearless Leader! And you do it so well.

      • Gina

        Yes, Naughty By Nature was the first thing that came to mind when Stephen said “INFP.” Every last (Colb) homie! I thought you would appreciate that reference.

        Yes, my type likes to brainstorm and likes to champion so hard we forget about ourselves or practical concerns. Luckily, when all else fails,I excel at faking competency to cover weak spots. Just throw an area rug over your weak spots, I say, no one will notice. 😉

  • Erika Bade

    INFP here too! :) Apparently it’s one of the rarest personality types, or so I’ve been told, but I bet a lot of Colbert fans are INFP’s or in that vein like Gina. I was very surprised that Stephen was that personality type. I can’t remember what it was, but I remember once reading them over and trying to guess what his is and I had him pegged with the one that was particularly charming, quick-witted, and comedic. It was also an extroverted one. I know he’s very introspective and quiet at times, but I still assumed he’d be an extrovert. I mean, he’s so GOOD at socializing, doesn’t seem shy at all, and loves to talk about himself haha (as Evie once pointed out).

    Anyway, the interviews were really great. Stephen seems to really crush on Mrs. First Lady, it was so adorable to see him get nervous like that, and she was just wonderful. I think his transitions between silly and serious are getting better, he changed topics very well with John Legend. That’s been one of his only interview problems, like with the first one with George Clooney….and it’s smoothing out significantly.

    • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

      It is great to have another INFP here, Erika! It seems like many Colbert fans are cut from the same cloth, including Gina, who is very close as an ENFP. I was very surprised that I was an INFP, because I always considered myself to be an extrovert. But after reading about the INFP type, it became clear that it was me. It is so interesting to know Stephen’s personality type. Psychology is endlessly fascinating.

  • ColbertsLassNC

    Shiiiiiiiii… I wanted to post last night but I had to better collect my thoughts and not lash out in inappropriate ways amongst the fandom.

    First, i’ll get with the more negative-Nancy stuff… I have a strong taste in my mouth for the new or other ‘interim’ announcer - and it’s not a good one. He was more drowned out voice-wise than Stephen and it’s just NOT jiving with me whatsoever. I know I don’t get to call these shots and i’m not sure exactly who does, whether it’s on an exec producer level or what, but please, reconsider that role for someone else again. It’s just not working. They’ll get it right in time, i’m sure.

    Ok, on a brighter note now. FLOTUS. You can’t help but like her. I enjoyed the time she did an Ew segment with Jimmy Fallon also, though i’m glad Stephen gave her a chance to speak about the things that truly mattered in our country and around the world - the inadequacies of women’s education. This is a very important topic and I hope that the local outreach begins to work wonders for our women, myself included. We are always learning to some degree.

    On John Legend - what’s there to say?! Love their bond, and the fact that they sang together again! I still chuckle over the Nutmeg bit on the Christmas special. It’s a classic.

    Lastly - thank you, thank you, thank you for starting the Who Am Me? segments! This was truly a delight to see, and I loved Stephen’s mannerisms in it, though Colbert-esque, he still managed to make us laugh so much. “Me? INFP… You? STFU…” had me rolling for about five minutes. An interesting part of this is that J.R.R. Tolkien is in fact of the same personality type - imagine that. I love how accurate and spot-on this is to Stephen’s self
    (that we’ve witnessed over the years publicly, that is) as well as his on-screen persona. It even had me wondering about my type, and I was generated with the ENFP type. Little far off from Stephen, but here I am, clearly campaigning for someone I care for!

    A nice, classic quote when doing some research on INFP’s, before I go, by the wonderful J.R.R. Tolkien - in honor of getting to know ‘the real you’, Stephen -

    “All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.”

    Wonderful episode. Can’t wait for another segment!

    • Gina

      What a beautiful quote. Thanks, Lass!

  • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

    Thank you so much, Mrc!

  • Jess

    LOVE this episode. What a fantastic interview with the First Lady or as Stephen said “Mrs. First Lady” 😛 he was SO adorable when he said that! And now they’re on a first name basis…. lucky!

    Finally, the Who Am Me? segment makes its debut! Very interesting to find out that Stephen is an INFP. I hope this segment will be a frequent one 😉 (PS: I am an INFJ. Close enough, right?)

    • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

      Absolutely! Close enough, Jess!

  • Amanda Wells

    This was such a cute episode. First Lady Michelle Obama interview was adorable. They played off each other so well, and I couldn’t help smile a little by Stephen’s surprised look when Michelle told him he could call her Michelle and not the whole title of First Lady. The Who Am Me segment was priceless, I can’t wait to see what else is in store with that segment.

    • Roseha

      I loved this show, both interviews with the First Lady and John Legend were great and I loved it when John Legend turned to Jon Batiste and casually asked him to play in the key of C - as if they hadn’t rehearsed the song at all. They just sounded great. I’m happy also that Stephen is starting up with the Who Am Me segments, I hope we will be seeing more remotes as time goes on.
      I agree about the new announcer, I wish they would go back to having Stephen announce!

  • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Katie (Blogger Name: Clem)

    I actually talked about this with another blogger. It would be great to have a female announcer!

  • Stephanié Colette (Kirsten)

    I LOVED the Who Am Me segment! I was laughing so hard, my dad thought I was having a hard time breathing! I took the personality quiz last night and it turns out I am an INTJ. Being an INTJ is rare for a young lady like me because there is only 0.8% of females who has this type of personality. I was a little disappointed that I did not get the same personality like Mr. Colbert scored…that is until I learned that INTJs are considered “The Masterminds” of civilization.

    I’m feeling so regal right now. #TeamINTJ