September 21, 2015 - Stephen Curry, Ted Cruz, Don Henley

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Episode Guide EPISODE NUMBER: Season 1, Episode 10 (Monday, September 21, 2015)
GUESTS: Stephen Curry | Ted Cruz | Don Henley
SEGMENTS: Monologue | Stephen is Concerned ABout Jeb Bush | Hillary Clinton’s Emoji Outreach | Diplomas of Lies | Stephen Curry | Senator Ted Cruz | Don Henley - “Too Much Pride”
EXCLUSIVE(S): Don Henley - “New York Minute”
DOWNLOAD(S): Stephen Colbert’s Totally Legitimate Online PhD Program
SUIT REPORT: Dark Grey Suit | White Shirt | Dark Grey Tie

Greetings, Hubsters! Tonight’s episode was a great start to week three of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Stephen’s crack research team found out the truth behind Jeb Bush’s recent Super PAC ad. Hillary Clinton reaches out to the youth vote by using emojis. A Pakistani company is caught selling fake diplomas online. Stephen talks basketball with Steph Curry and challenges him to a sock shoot-off. Stephen discusses some difficult issues with Ted Cruz, in what is sure to go down as a very memorable interview. Don Henley gives a beautiful musical performance. Let’s get down to business. Here is your Episode Guide.

Monologue

Stephen hit the stage dancing with Jon Batiste, who was looking vibrant in a full fuchsia suit. Although this is the Late Show, Stephen recognized that for some people it is “the mid-afternoon on your work computer until you hear your boss coming show.” To help out in that situation, Stephen got up-close and personal with the camera to make it look like a work-related Skype session. Thank you for looking out for the workers of the world, Stephen.

  • A new biography claims that while at Oxford, British Prime Minister, David Cameron, put his genitals into the mouth of a roasted pig. Though, in his defense, that’s still more appealing than most British food.

Stephen Is Concerned About Jeb Bush

Jeb Bush is struggling against Donald Trump. Trump is dominating the polls in Jeb’s home state of Florida. The former governor of the state is behind Trump by 15 points.

It makes sense that Florida likes Trump. I mean, they’re used to life-size cartoon characters with giant heads.

Jeb’s Super PAC is fighting back. They released a new political ad, first showing Trump saying negative statements to ominous music and then showing all-American video clips with a voice over of Jeb saying how he will make America great again. However, there is a slight problem with these “all-American” video clips. They stock footage from overseas. For instance, a clip of a father adjusting his son’s backpack is actually from the UK.

  • That’s not an American father adjusting his son’s backpack. That’s a British pa-pa willy-knickering his wee son’s rucksack.

The image of construction workers with the title, “America is great” is from Southeast Asia. The clip of a beautiful sunrise is actually from a field in Cornwall, England. Nice try, Jeb’s Super PAC! Good research, Stephen’s team!

Hillary Clinton’s Emoji Outreach

All of the presidential candidates are trying to attract Millennial voters. Hillary Clinton is the leader to attract them on social media.

  • But the Hills doesn’t want her campaign to be some one-sided conversation. She wants to have a rap sesh with the youths.
  • So, her communications team developed a Twitter strategy or “Twategy” to find out what students thought about this issue, asking:

Hillary Clinton’s Tweet: How does your student loan debt make you feel? Tell us in 3 emojis or less.

Yes, because nothing shows respect for college-educated voters like asking them to sum up a lifetime of crushing debt in three cartoon faces.

Diplomas Of Lies

There is a company in Pakistan, called Axact, that was selling fake college degrees online.

  • Degrees from Axact aren’t “axactly” cheap. They are charging over $4,000 for a doctoral degree. That’s not right. You can’t buy a doctorate. You have to earn it by telling jokes to the graduates. [Footage is shown of Stephen receiving his honorary doctorate before giving the commencement speech at Wake Forest University.]

Pakistani authorities arrested the Axact CEO and charged him with illegal money transfers, forgery, and fraud. Stephen is glad they caught the guy and believes that charging people hundreds of thousands of dollars for a fake degree is appalling. Stephen thinks that fake college should be free. So, what is his solution? A network of completely free diploma generators.

Interview — Stephen Curry

Stephen and Steph after their sock shoot-off

Stephen congratulated Steph on all of the success that he has had in the NBA. When Stephen asked how many people are in Steph’s posse, he sweetly replied by saying that it is just his wife, their two daughters, and himself. They chatted about Steph’s unique contributions to the game of basketball. Steph promoted his new video game, NBA 2K16.

Colbert: You also do this nice thing where you have a “Nothing But Nets” non-profit. You donate three mosquito nets for every 3-pointer you drop.
Curry: It’s part of the UN Foundation supporting the fight against malaria. It’s a nice campaign. I’ve been a champion of that cause for the last three years. So every time I knock down a 3, I donate three nets and I encourage everybody to follow along and kind of match the donations, so I’ve been shooting really well the last three years.

Stephen had a beef with Steph Curry. When you type in “Stephen” to Google Search, Stephen Colbert comes up second. Who comes up first? You guessed it! Stephen (pronounced Stefon) Curry. Stephen Colbert will not be second, so he challenged Steph to a laundry shooting contest. Whoever got the most amount of socks into a laundry basket would become the winner and take over the first spot in Google Search. Stephen and Steph took turns shooting their socks as the audience reacted in delight. In the end, it was a tie. Who has become number one in Google Search? The world may never know.

Interview — Ted Cruz

Stephen’s interview style with Ted Cruz was extraordinary. He was not easy on Cruz, a staunch conservative. Stephen asked him tough questions and did not let him get away with the typical “politician answers.” Although each held opposing view points, Stephen was respectful of Cruz throughout the interview. Stephen and Cruz discussed Ronald Reagan. Stephen made the point that Reagan raised taxes and had an amnesty program for illegal immigrants - two issues that would not get Reagan nominated for a Republican bid in today’s America. Stephen asked Cruz if he could agree with Reagan on those two important issues. Cruz stated that he does not agree with those issues, but went on to discuss how economic growth boomed during Reagan’s presidency. Stephen rebutted by stating that when conditions changed in the country, so did Reagan’s policies. Like Reagan, Stephen questioned if Cruz would be willing to comprise across party lines, should his plan turn out not to be the right one. Cruz did not give a direct answer.

Cruz: You mentioned before - you said, “Cruz, you’re a very conservative guy.” Listen, what I’m fighting for are simple principles - Live within our means, stop bankrupting our kids and grandkids, follow the Constitution.
Colbert: And no gay marriage. And no gay marriage.
Cruz: Wait. Well, no, actually, let’s be precise. Under the Constitution, marriage is a question for the States. If you want to change laws -
Colbert: It doesn’t mention marriage in the Constitution.
Cruz: We have a had a country for over 200 years -
Colbert: So, you may be right. You may be right, but it doesn’t mention marriage in the Constitution.
Cruz: And that’s exactly why it’s a question for the States, because the 10th Amendment says, if it doesn’t mention it, it’s a question for the States. That’s in the Bill of Rights. Everything that is not mentioned is left to the States. So, if you wanna change the marriage laws -
Colbert: I’m asking what you want.
Cruz: I believe in Democracy. I believe in Democracy and I don’t think we should try -
[Audience boos Ted Cruz]
Colbert: No, no, no. Guys. Guys. However you feel, he’s my guest, so please don’t boo him.

Don Henley - “Too Much Pride”

Don Henley performed the song “Too Much Pride” off of his new album Cass County. Jon Batiste joined in the performance on piano. As the show ended, Stephen had Henley take us out to his classic song, “New York Minute.” The full version is now available as a web exclusive.

That wraps it up for this episode. What were your favorite moments? As always, The Hub invites you to share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

  • ColbertsLassNC

    Looking forward to the show tonight… Recently finally saw the Eagles perform live and it was amazing. I’ve always been a huge Don Henley/Joe Walsh girl. 😉

  • weasley_isourking

    I hate to be a cynic, but I’m crossing my fingers that this episode with Ted Cruz will lead to another Scott Walker. You do you, Stephen!

  • Gina (aka CN Helper)

    I am glad the show is going full steam ahead, but I think we need to see those “who am me” segments. Stephen still needs to work on introducing himself to the greater audience. We just met! We can’t get married yet. What I mean is, in order to quickly cement the large pool of viewers he has, which seems to be very important at this time, I think he needs to keep building that viewer-host relationship. Especially since he is taking the approach of being harder-hitting with his choice of guests and edgier in his selected topics - which is needed in the current late night fare.

    I kinda hazzed a sad about the Ted Cruz interview. It started off as very pleasant, and then didn’t end as well as one might like. I realize the guy is very conservative, as Stephen indicated, but…there has to be a better way to have these guests on and it not get ugly. You can’t parse one’s entire political ideology in 4 or 5 minutes. I thought bringing up the gay marriage issue didn’t really serve the interview’s purpose, and simply riled up the audience. The issue has been settled by the Supreme Court, so in this brief span of air time why not focus on policy positions that are actually going to be relevant in the next presidential administration? I still don’t know a thing about what Cruz would do as president, and this is a general critique I have with the media at large, not only this particular appearance.

    I did like how Stephen contrasted the conservative party’s talking points about Reagan vs the reality - Reagan raised taxes, granted amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants. The questions he asked were good and vital, and even of course, as usual, the mainstream media doesn’t have the cajones (or dedicated airtime) to ask them. I just think he should keep in mind that be mindful of how the “red meat” issues can make what should be a relatively pleasant experience become, well, rancid.

    • Kidney

      I’d also love me some “Who Am Me” segments! Weren’t they going to play around with the idea of “Who” the actual Stephen Colbert is anyway? The writers seem more comfortable adapting TCR-like acts into the Late Night format for now, figuring how things work out. It’s fine for me, but as you said, it definitely lacks something on that side of the page.

      It could’ve only been me here, but the way he threw in “gay marriage” all of the sudden sounded like he immediately regretted it. It’s nice to see however how well they’re doing on the time management part now!

      • Gina (aka CN Helper)

        Yes, I agree, thanks for “getting” me.

      • ColbertsLassNC

        Agreed on time-management. Some of the beats between interviews as well as going to commercial breaks are somewhat awkward and rough around the edges. He’s getting better. 😉

    • ColbertsLassNC

      I feel like all the material for “Who Am Me” is sitting around collecting dust as they’re trying to figure out where to fit it in… as well as the secret Manhattan shoot stuff… i’m going crazy for him to actually add this into the show somehow.

      I agree about the interview with Ted Cruz. It was great how Stephen called him out on the Reagan issues, but some things (actions) that were brought up on Stephen and Ted’s behalf only caused the reaction of the audience boo-ing, which Stephen then said he would not tolerate on the show. I was a little disappointed as well as perplexed by that entire segment.

      Also, regarding the airtime with Don Henley… first run was good, but then they cut the final performance of “In a NY Minute” to go into Corden’s show… that made me sad. I love Don Henley and that was one of his older classics. I also feel like some sort of dialogue between the two was warranted as Don is a bigger deal in the music industry. I was upset there wasn’t any banter there between the two legends.

      • Gina (aka CN Helper)

        Yes, I could tell from various sources that Henley was a big draw for the ep last night! Hopefully he comes on again.

        • ColbertsLassNC

          Here’s hoping… I would certainly say that he deserves more than a 5 minute song segment followed by an interruption of the second.

          • Gina (aka CN Helper)

            To be fair, they don’t usually get a second song! :)

            • ColbertsLassNC

              While that’s completely true, still… for some, exceptions should be made. One of the Eagles is certainly exception-worthy. Look at how TCR handled Rush being on air after 30 years. 😉 Tom Sawyer even went into the opening of the following show. Haha.

              I’ll get off my fangirl rant now. I’m quite a music-head so these things are a bigger deal to me.

              • Gina (aka CN Helper)

                Hey girl, I write my own music so I’m with you! Rush got all that attention becuase they hadn’t been on TV in so long and Jimmy is a crazy rush head - Stephen was taking care of Jimmy there. :)

                • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Clem79

                  Another music-head here. Your music is beautiful, Gina!

                • Gina (aka CN Helper)

                  *awww* thanks Clem. Being hit in all the feels in a Ted Cruz/ Don Henley thread.

                • ColbertsLassNC

                  You need to send me some of your material! I’ve never heard it.

                • Gina (aka CN Helper)

                  Sure! I’ve got some stuff for you. Stephen has been big inspiration to get me working on my music.

                • ColbertsLassNC

                  I know Jimmy was a huge fan. It was such a fun episode of TCR. One of my favorites, for sure.

      • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Clem79

        I have always loved “New York Minute” and I was so excited when Henley started the song. It’s such a haunting, beautiful song. Luckily, it’s up as a web exclusive. Check it out, because it is gorgeous! I included it above in my Ep. Guide.

  • ColbertsLassNC

    I loved the faux-PhD segment regarding the printable PDF diplomas… though i’m very disappointed ASU didn’t actually make the final cut. Lol.

  • Gina (aka CN Helper)

    One more thing about Stephen and hecklers. He has said in interviews and stuff that he used to have to deal with a lot of rowdy, drunk audiences when he worked at Second City, so I think crowd control is something he is very comfortable with. He also has “command” of his audience in a way that is much different from other performers I’ve observed, so when he told them to shush it the response was immediate. That’s cool.

  • http://www.colbertnewshub.com/ Clem79

    I really enjoyed the interview with Ted Cruz. Stephen is so intelligent that he was able to ask Cruz tough questions, keep Cruz on topic, and show him respect when people began booing. I want to see GOP candidates (and Democrats) asked the important questions that Stephen asked. There are platforms for people like Cruz to appear on if they want to have a funny/light interview. To have a serious and intelligent discussion, we have Stephen! Since Cruz is a potential candidate to become the next President, people have the right to know how he feels about important issues. Stephen was a class act all the way.

    • Mel C

      Excellent guide Clem! I completely agree with you about the Ted Cruz interview. It was nice to see Stephen ask the tough questions, and not settle for the usual “politician answers”. The interview was done with respect, and Stephen asked great questions! The way he even told the audience to not boo, just shows how he wants to have a respectful and intelligent conversation without it getting out of hand. He did a great job, and it makes me look forward to the Trump interview tonight.

      I also loved the sock shoot off between him and Curry. Stephen has game!

  • DeeCee

    I found the Cruz interview quite revealing. I’m pretty much a political moderate and I was disappointed to learn how inflexible and how unwilling to work with Democrats Cruz is. IMO a huge problem in US politics is that the political parties & the politicians are so caught up in their own agendas that they no longer compromise and work together for the good of the country. I, for one, will be looking for a presidential candidate who wants to try to find common ground and bring people/political parties together. Cruz was never high on my list, but now he is no longer a candidate that I would consider voting for.

    I’m hoping many other candidates go on TLS. I think he is better than anyone — even the Sunday morning newsies at getting candidates to say something other than just regurgitate their stump speech.

    So, in terms of the booing, I think that when there are candidates on that Stephen could use a minute of the Q&A time before the show to tell the audience that the candidate is their guest so “no booing.”

    • Gina (aka CN Helper)

      I understand what you mean by “moderate.” I was kind of thinking about Reagan, and Barack Obama, both presidents who won over the other side. You have to know how to communicate your ideas to people in a way that feels universal, not divisive. And you have to be relentless in your ability to communicate in any or all platforms. Barack Obama could be as concise and relatable at a diner or on Capitol hill, that’s how he rose from obscurity to the presidency. It’s one political moment at a time.

      Cruz may be an intelligent guy, but he does not know how to do that. Even from announcing his candidacy, he chose Liberty University on a day when all the students had to be there anyways (I believe Stephen talked about this on the old show?)

  • Katt

    Really? That’s the left over #Piggate joke they went with? Disappointed. In fact, I don’t really like the one more joke before the theme music plays, they’re not particularly strong jokes.

    • ColbertsLassNC

      Same - I actually brought this same thing up in my comments from last night’s show. It weakens the monologue even more so.