June 9, 2014 — Esther Perel

June 10, 2014 Katt 3 comments

EPISODE NUMBER: 10114 (June 9, 2014)
GUESTS: Esther Perel
SEGMENTS: Scott Fistler’s “Cesar Chavez” Strategy | Fox News’s War on Bowe Bergdahl | Craziest F#?king Thing I’ve Ever Heard - Vincent Van Gogh’s Reanimated Ear | Esther Perel | Sign Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark Grey Suit | White Shirt | Blue/White Stripped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, June 9, 2014

Scott Fistler’s “Cesar Chavez” Strategy

The GOP continues to struggle with Hispanic voters. For some reason, they’re not rallying to the GOP’s message of, ‘Look, Marco Rubio!’

That’s why it’s more important than every to reach out to suburban futbol madres and average jose seis-packs.

But a new strategy has been pioneered by Arizona Republican Scott Fistler, seen here photo-bombing a picture of a map.

After losing two races in a heavily Hispanic community, Scott Fistler has found a way to get his name out there. Get another name out there.

“Controversy surrounding a candidate seeking office here in Arizona. Scott Fistler has legally changed his name to Cesar Chavez.”

Adios Scott Fistler. Hola Cesar Chavez.

You know what they say, if you can’t beat ’em, pretend you joined ’em.

Now if ‘Cesar Chavez’ strikes a cord with my Hispanic viewer, it’s because it is also the name of the founder of The United Farm Workers, who popularised the slogan: “Si, se puede,” which means, ‘Yes, we can’. Though if he were alive today, Chavez might be saying, ‘Oh no he di int’.

But this isn’t merely political pandering, folks. This change was a long time coming. As the politician formerly known as Fistler explained, he experienced many hardships because of his name.

I don’t see why. Fistler, that’s a great name for a leader. It sounds like he’s the Hitler of fisting.

Heil Fistler.

Fistler just wanted to change it to something that would be a popular name with voters. So I think it shows great restraint that he didn’t just go with Cherry Garcia.

But Cesar Chavez’s campaign isn’t just about a confusing name, it’s also about a confusing website.

“On his campaign website, Chavez features images of crowds of people holding Chavaz signs and wearing T-Shirts, but the pictures are actually from a rally for the late Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.”

Unfortunately, the website is unclear about how to contribute to the campaign. Do I use this “Donate Now” button up here at the top, or one of these nine “Donate Now” buttons here.

I mean it makes sense, you need one button for each candidate he’s pretending to be.

Senior Chavez’s strategy shows how Republicans can win the White House in 2016. Just field a slate of minority candidates. There’s lots of choices, there’s “Pancho Villa” [Paul Ryan], “Martin Lurther King” [Chris Christie], “Mahatma Ghandhi” [Rand Paul], “Aung San Suu Kyi” [Rick Perry], “Harriet Tubman” [Rick Santorum], and “Sitting Bull” [Scott Walker].

Fox News’s War on Bowe Bergdahl

“Kimberly on Fox News: It seems to me he’s pretty lucky he was brought home the way he was because if those special forces had found him, he would have some home either in a body bag or come home and gone to straight to jail.”

That’s right, Kimberly. If our soldiers had found him, they might have arrested him, but they just as likely would have murdered him in a heroic act of vigilante justie like in the movie, “Fragging Private Ryan.”

“CNN Live: During all this time, he [Bowe Bergdahl] stuck to his religion, Christianity. And the Taliban say that they gave him permission to celebrate Christmas.”

And worse, while he was celebrating Christmas, the Taliban wished him happy holidays.

Folks, this is so unfair. How can Bergdahl be a good Christian? You don’t see Jesus walking off into the dessert.

Is there any way we can say his torture wasn’t so bad?

“Fox News: He did, Bergdahl, admit that he was tortured by the Taliban and kept in a cage after an attempt to escape. […] It was reported on Friday that he had a customised cage with him and left him in there, maybe in solitary confinement.”

This guy had his own customised cage? Oh, I couldn’t possibly be confined in an off-the-shelf cage. I’m too fancy for that. I want one with brushed steel bars and a monogrammed poop bucket.

Okay, so he’s got a fancy cage. But could we make it seem like he actually liked these guys?

“Fox News: It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that he was tortured and it was horrific. There was a report too on this channel that by the end of his captivity, he was playing soccer with these guys.”

Playing soccer with these guys? For all we know, the Talibans mum brought orange slices.

I’m betting getting captured was clearly his …

Goooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllll

But can we prove that bend it like Bergdahl here is on the Taliban’s side?

Well, luckily CNN found a way to boil this complex story down to the one question that matters: Do you watch “Homeland”?

“It’s a story with so many subplots that no wonder many are comparing Bergdahl to Brodie, the freed American hostage on Showtime’s ‘Homeland’. […] I have to say it sounds like an episode of ‘Homeland’. […] You’d almost think you’re watching ‘Homeland’.”

Yes, and I’d almost think I was watching the news.

You see, Bergdahl’s story is exactly like the Showtime drama “Homeland” about a rescued P.O.W. that may have been brainwashed by Islamic radicals. And if you think about it, the similarities are nearly existent.

“CNN Live: The show ‘Homeland’ originated in Israel. And Israel had real-life experience with these kinds of prisoner swaps. Hopefully he wasn’t watching ‘Homeland’ and modelling his story after that because it doesn’t end well for Nicholas Brody.”

Yes, I certainly hope he wasn’t watching Showtime in his customised Taliban cage.

It all lines up. They both have families, they both come from society. ‘Homeland’ originated in Israel and Bergdahl is real. I’m telling you, folks, you cannot make this stuff up. Although we will continue to try.

Craziest F#?king Thing I’ve Ever Heard - Vincent Van Gogh’s Reanimated Ear

Folks, if you’re like me, whenever you see masterpieces by someone like Vincent van Gogh, whether it be “Starry Night” or “Sunflowers”, it always makes you ask the big questions like: What would his chopped off ear look like?

“Would you pay to see a human ear in an art museum? The ear of artist Vincent van Gogh is about to go one display. In 1888, the Dutch artist had a psychotic breakdown and inexplicably severed his own ear. Well now a German museum has a replica of the ear using cells actually grown from van Gogh’s, great great nephew.”

That’s right. It’s that exciting time in every century when German museum’s begin displaying human body parts.

Folks, this one really disgusts me. There’s your European style socialised medicine. Van Gogh has to wait 126 years to get his ear fixed.

Now, according to the “Eartist”.

This is the most successful use of bio-engineering in art since Pablo Picasso created that five-boobed lady so he could paint her.

And the best part about this exhibit is that visitors can talk to it.

“Visitors to a German museum are waiting in line for hours, literally to ask questions through a microphone to Vincent van Gogh’s re-grown ear. Think of your question for van Gogh’s ear please.”

I’ve got one: Why, God, why?

Interview - Esther Perel

Esther: When people have an affair the question is ‘for a glimmer of what?’ - What is it that they area actually longing for, seeking:
Stephen: I think they’re seeking sex.
Esther: No. I think that is a very easy thing that we often want to think affairs are about sex. Affairs are actually very little about and are a lot about desire.
Stephen: Desire for … sex.
Esther: No, desire for attention. Desire to experience a sense of aliveness, vibrancy, vitality …
Stephen: In the groinal area.
Esther: But the groinal area is a very narrow view of where sex takes place.
Stephen: Some of them are wider than others.