February 5, 2014 – Lake Street Dive

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The Colbert Report episode guide EPISODE NUMBER: 10059 (February 5, 2014)
GUEST: Lake Street Dive | Mort Zuckerman
SEGMENTS: Intro - 2/5/14 | Obamacare Jobs Debate | America’s Wealthy Under Siege - Mort Zuckerman | Lake Street Dive | Lake Street Dive - “You Go Down Smooth” | Sign Off - Goodnight
EXCLUSIVE: Lake Street Dive - “Rabid Animal”
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | Pale Blue Shirt | Purple Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Intro - 2/5/14

Tonight, what is America’s new oppressed minority? In the office pool, I picked gay Inuits. Then, the Obama administration has a break through in new energy. They’re hooking Biden up to a gerbil wheel. And my guest, pop group Lake Street Dive, describe themselves as two girls, two guys, and a whole lot of feelings. Fine, but they’re still splitting one cheese plate. New York City is running low on road salt. No wonder my commute was so bland.

Obamacare Jobs Debate

  • And yes, I had to push a frail women in front of a salt truck to catch a cab. Once again, my apologies to Doris Kearns Goodwin.
  • Nobody believed me when I said ObamaCare was a job killer, and now it is. It’s only a matter of time before they roll out the death panels, and the elder catapults.
Stephen Colbert sleeping on desk

“Mum I don’t want to go to school … it’s a snow day.”

  • Sure, what Professor Lunesta says is technically true. ObamaCare gives people health care options allowing them to work less if they choose. But what look better on a bumper sticker?

OBAMACARE: JOB-KILLER
VOTE G.O.P.

Or?

“Obamacare’s estimated reduction in the workforce stems almost entirely from a net decline in (cont.)… the amount of labour that workers choose to supply, rather than from a net drop in
businesses’ demand for labour.     Vote Democrat.”
  • Do you think anyone wanted to be a Pilgrim? No, but they stuck it out for the buckle insurance. Even then it was a pretty high buckle deductible.

America’s Wealthy Under Siege - Mort Zuckerman

  • It’s no secret that America’s wealthy are under siege. It’s like the French Revolution these days. But our poor people are too lazy to put on uplifting musicals.
  • Oh, but they’ve got plenty of energy to demonise my friend, venture capitalist Tom Perkins. He is suddenly public enemy number one, just because he had the courage to speak truth to poverty.

“CNN: There is outrage today over comments made by venture capitalist Tom Perkins … In a letter to the editor of the Wall Street Journal, he wrote:

Writing from the epi-centre of progressive thought, San Francisco, I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its ‘one percent’, namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, name the ‘rich’.”

  • Well said, Tom. There is no better way to fight bigotry than equating Jews to a wealthy cabal who control world business.
  • Somehow, this appearance failed to win over the ninety-nine percent thanks to President Obama-Lib and the Progressocrates demagoguing about income inequality, the Pope attacking the so-called idolatry of money, and Hollywood vilifying the wealthiest one-percent of dragons.
  • The Desolation of Smaug? Come on!

“How about the appreciation of Smaug?”

  • Don’t get mad at him just because he was smart enough to put everything in gold.
  • Yes, conspiracies are everywhere. Tell me this, if there is no plot against rich people, how come someone [Forbes] is keeping a list of all of the rich people?

Stephen: Do you think the people who are doing things like calling for a higher minimum wage, or calling for higher taxes on he wealthy, a redistribution of wealth. Those people are trying to whip up poor people, who don’t know what to do, and they’re choosing guys like you and me, as easy targets.
Mort: Well, certainly think you’re an easy target.

Stephen: I don’t think it’s fair to be targeted just because we [the rich people] have done well.
Audience: *laughs*
Stephen: I don’t know why that’s funny to you people.
Mort: […] There has always been a certain hostility to the weathly in this country. For a hundred years that’s been the case, and you know it’s understandable. But it’s always been apart of this country, that if you have energy and talent you can move up the income leader up to your own abilities. And that is apart of what makes this country great.

Stephen: What I am worried about is this vilifying of the rich. The Pope upsets me, you know, that he said that there’s this idolatry of money … and is he upsetting you enough to leave the Catholic Church? Are you thinking of leaving?
Mort: It’s such a good question, but I would like to talk to my Rabi before I get back to you.

Interview - Lake Street Dive

Stephen: Where did you guys meet?
McDuck: At the New England Conservatory of Music.
Stephen: Is that the place where Colonel Mustard kills you with the candle stick?
Rachel: A conservatory is a place where you study music, and you don’t generally study other subjects. You study just music.
Stephen: Okay, so is this classical musical training?
Rachel: We study Jazz.
Stephen: Jazz! Oh, then why do I like your music?

  • CN Helper

    Can you say “buckle deductible” four times fast? That was a good one. Lake Street Dive (hereafter known as “LSD”) were a cute & nice group, but poor McDuck really got stuck with that pickle of a Hitler question. Bravo on their first TV appearance, and bigger Bravo for TCR having an up-and-coming group on.

  • StephenSmile64

    “Mama! I don’t want to go to school! It’s a snow day!” HAHA!!! Loved that part! 🙂

  • From TWoP member braggtastic:

    I’m back from tonight’s taping & it will be interesting to see how the show is cut together. The desk interview with Mort Zuckerman went way long and was quite serious. The interview & performance by the band was great & they did an extra song for the web. Stephen’s intern Jay and his wife had a baby & the last segment showed a photo & there was a sweet welcome by Stephen, but then he also did a quick Bye without anything, and maybe Jay’s son will be on tomorrow’s show.

    I had a great seat, 3rd row right on the center aisle. I got the first question off during the pre-show Q&A: who is in charge of snow removal at your house. Stephen said he has a 15 year old son who does the steps, but they have someone who takes care of that for them now, but made sure to add ‘I used to do it, but I’m busy in the mornings now’. The next question asked Stephen to sing something & he busted out something from Jesus Christ Superstar. Later a kid in the front row w/long hair sang a line from JCS to Stephen & Stephen responded in song - they went back & forth about three lines each. Someone else asked what was his favorite moment when he broke character. He mentioned one time on The Daily Show when he was doing a report about Prince Charles & said they had to edit out at least a minute of Jon laughing, and that always makes him break. He also mentioned the dirty sounding Asian names bit. The last question was who was the best and worst celebrity interview & he said he wasn’t sure if they counted as celebrities, but Pussy Riot last night was right up there. He said they weren’t sure how it would go because of the translator, but they wound up scrapping an entire act to give them more time. He said O’Reilly may have been the worse because he wasn’t any fun. I think that might have been all the Qs, I may have forgotten one or two.

    During one break Holland 1945 by Neutral Milk Hotel came on & the young woman in front of me was so psyched. She was dancing around in her seat and either singing or mouthing the words & Stephen was singing/mouthing too & caught sight of her, so he basically sang most of the song right to her/with her from in front of his desk, complete with emotive gestures & facial expressions.

    • bleu

      I had a feeling they’d cut out something so they could show more of the interview. So glad they did.

    • llama

      I know things were taped all out of order this week so I wonder if Braggtastic even saw this, but I wanted to know why Stephen put that bright green mask on at the end of the show. I thought it was going to be some sort of green screen thing, but then that was it. ?? It shall remain a mystery for now, alas. 😉

      • It was a Pussy Riot mask.

  • CN Helper

    I wish I could get into Neutral Milk Hotel if just because I am a Colbert fan, but I am just not that into it. Interestingly, they are reuniting for a couple concerts in Chicago, I believe.

  • I’m generally not the greatest fan of interviews at the C-Desk, but I thought Mort Zuckerman did a fantastic job. He was very composed and got his point across, unlike Jennifer Senior earlier in the week. She almost gave me a case of second hand nervousness.

    I’ve never heard Lake Street Dive before, and I gotta say I’m not really a fan. And poor McDuck, he totally got zinged with the time travel question Though, I gotta say he does look like he came from the 50/60s. I do like his style!