EPISODE NUMBER: 9108 (May 23, 2013)
GUEST: C.J. Chivers | Andrew Bacevich
SEGMENTS: AUMF Repeal | AUMF Repeal - Andrew Bacevich | Redemption for All | Sign Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Grey Pinstriped Suit | White Shirt | Blue Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, May 23, 2013
Hair report: gorgeous!
Stephen started off the show saying, “I’m Stephen Colbert, your love is like a vacation”. He doesn’t often introduce himself like that, not on the show anyway. I guess the vacation he is referring to is next week when they are off.
AUMF Repeal
The AUMF stands for…wait…gotta go look it up…got it. The Authorization for Use of Military Force. “so called because it is what gives Obama’s unchecked killing authority that special ‘aumf'”.
“Incidentally, heaven and earth? Those are areas where the President is allowed to kill people.”
Apparently Obama is in favor of repealing the AUMF. He wants to repeal it.
“That’s like Ryan Gosling repealing his abs. Or Matthew McConaughey repealing his abs, or me repealing my power to name people with abs.”
Obama is not against giving Congress back the power to declare war. If the AUMF is repealed, then we will not have never ending wars. Sounds good to me.
This resolution says that terrorists have to be linked to 9/11. “So far that hasn’t been a problem, thanks to a high level CIA technique known as ‘Six degrees of guys who don’t eat bacon'”.
“You know they don’t eat bacon, right? I’m not giving away a state secret”
Stephen decides to amend the AUMF
“I’LL AUTHORIZE ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!”
That is one big marker Stephen has there.
Also, I can’t resist: Stephen going “pishoo pishoo” (gun sound effect noise)
AUMF Repeal - Andrew Bacevich
Mr Bacevich is from BU. (WOOO!! Boston!!) He is also a retired Army Colonel.
He doesn’t want wars, except when necessary. He thinks Congress should decide when to go to war.
Andrew: We may differ on the necessity and outcome of the Iraq war, which I would judge to have been totally unnecessary and completely disastrous.
Stephen: So you’d rather see Saddam back in power. Those are your words, you just said that.
(pause)
Andrew: (laughing) You win.
Stephen: (also laughing) You’re my favorite kind of guest.
Redemption for All
“Big Daddy Franks, the lean mean Argentine, The vicar so nice, he speaks for Christ”
The Pope has proclaimed that we should work together and that God will redeem Atheists. This was a personal story for me. As an atheist, I reacted to this statement that all atheists will be redeemed by God in the way that most atheists would: “meh”
I found it interesting though. I like that he said it.
“Stephen” was pissed. He now feels that he wasted all that time as a Catholic. He wants a refund.
Usually in times like this he would turn to the Lord for guidance but now he will turn to a stapler.
Stapler: Who cares? I’m a buddhist. In my next life, I hope to be a fax machine.
Interview - C.J. Chivers
He spent the past year in Syria. Also, he was a Marine. He wrote a book about the AK47 called “The Gun”. He is on the only NY Times journalist on the ground in Syria. To say he is a tough guy would be accurate, IMHO.
He is going back to Syria and he travels with the rebels. Stay safe Mr. Chivers!
The show is off next week. Happy Memorial Day to Stephen and the crew! Enjoy!