June 20, 2012 — Daniel Klaidman

EPISODE NUMBER: 8115 (June 20, 2012)
GUESTS: Daniel Klaidman
SEGMENTS: Intro - 6/20/12 | Asian Immigration Threat in America | Unraveling the “Fast & Furious” Scandal | Controversial Gun Control Ad from Ohio Congressional Candidate | Thought for Food - Doritos Tacos & Flavorlopes
SUIT REPORT: Charcoal Grey Pinstripe jacket | Powder blue shirt | yellow polka dot tie
VIDEOS: June 20, 2012

Sounds like perhaps Stephen had to redo the opening a few times. I blame the hot weather.

Intro - 6/20/12

“TONIGHT!!!!!” Such an energetic opening, followed by audience laughter, plus the reference to “hour 2” of the report, tells me that the one that aired was possibly the 3rd or 4th try. Can’t be sure, just a feeling. Maybe someone was there who can tell us what happened. Oh I wish they could show the stuff that normally doesn’t get on the air.

Asian Immigration Threat in America

A new study revealed that Asians have overtaken Hispanics in population in America. Companies are recruiting Asians because they are highly skilled. This is a huge threat!

Thoughts: Is the guy in the mexican hat BD Wong or is it just a coincidence?

“Asians are the new Mexicans. Our nacho nemesis has turned into a ramen rival.”

“Mexicans do the jobs we don’t want to do and Asians do the jobs we’re not able to do.”

“There’s only three jobs left for white Americans, Senator, Ralph Lauren model and FreeCreditReport.com band member.”

Did anyone else think he should’ve included late night talk show host? And how many people thought he was going to say “great wall” (around China)? (raises hand) Instead he said it should be a “super awesome wall”. Love it!

Unraveling the “Fast & Furious” Scandal

Fox is talking a lot about the Fast and Furious scandal, but not a lot of other media outlets are. I can kind of see why. I don’t really understand what it’s about. Thankfully Rush Limbaugh and the usual lot are on top of it. They have explained that it’s all about trying to take away gun rights. Obama somehow started it in 2006 before he was President just so that he could take away gun rights. Thanks for clearing it up Fox.

“just thinking about ‘Fast and Furious’ makes me…I don’t know, quickly angry.”

“Operation Fast and Furious is the biggest scandal in history that I have forgotten to ever talk about.”

“Since 2011, CA rep and Slytherin House master Darrell Issa…” (did I spell Slytherin right?)

“Yes, clearly Obama started this gun tracking program in 2006, when he hypnotized George Bush”

Controversial Gun Control Ad from Ohio Congressional Candidate

Oh that Joe the Plumber, whose name isn’t Joe and he isn’t a Plumber, what will he think of next? He made an ad that basically states that if gun control laws had not existed back in the days before WW2, the Jews could’ve prevented the holocaust.

This is where I’m glad to have Stephen to explain things to me. While I watched his ad, all I could think was, ‘He’s a pretty good shot. Of course, they could’ve just edited it to look like he hit all that produce on the first try. Anyway, what was he saying?’

“I love America, too. I mean where else can you spend the afternoon just shootin’ produce and talkin’ ’bout the holocaust”

“Just look at NYC, which has severely restricted gun permits since 1911. Sure, there’s been no genocide yet, but every year, thousands of New Yorkers are sent to camps and forced to make lanyards and potholders.”

“Every bad thing in history was caused by gun control. The dinosaurs wouldn’t have gone extinct if they had been able to defend themselves against that asteroid.”

Thought for Food - Doritos Tacos & Flavorlopes

As a fangirl, I must quote the very first thing from this segment:
“They say you are what you eat. Which is why to stay sexy, I eat only beefcake.”
🙂

100 million Doritos Tacos in 10 weeks?? Doesn’t the beef have sand in it? I have not eaten at Taco Bell since that report came out. Why are people still going to Taco Bell?

announcer: 100 million Doritos tacos have sold in just ten weeks. Is that possible?
Stephen: Oh it’s very possible, and ten minutes later, it’s very passable.

“That’s so good, I’m gonna chew the rest of that later.”

Flavorlopes are a new type of envelope that have flavored adhesive. Just in case your tongue gets bored in the two seconds it takes to seal an envelope. Why am I reminded of that episode of Seinfeld when George’s fiance dies from licking all the wedding invitation envelopes?

“Flavorlopes replaces bland envelope glue with five fruit flavors…It’s the best chance most Americans have of getting 3-4 servings of fruit a day.”

“mmm, that’s like a strawberry shortcake made love to a boiled horse.”

Stephen Colbert’s Taste-pirator:

“I’LL EAT ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!”

Daniel Klaidman

Daniel Klaidman wrote the book “Kill or Capture” about the Obama administration and their war in the middle east. He’s been using the drones more than troops in combat.
He evidently talked to a lot of people who wouldn’t go on record and will not reveal his sources.

Best part of the interview:

Stephen: Does (Obama) fly the drones, is he in the White House basement in the cellar? ‘Barack come up to dinner’, ‘I’ll be up in a minute. I can’t save the game, I’d have to start the whole war over’.