September 27, 2011 — Melinda Gates
EPISODE NUMBER: 7122 (September 27, 2011)
GUESTS: Melinda Gates
SEGMENTS: Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation | Rick Parry’s Debate Gaffe & Arizona’s Primary Date | Sport Report - NASCAR’s Green Initiatives & NFL Pat Downs
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Pale blue shirt | Navy / light blue Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, September 27, 2011
As of this writing, the Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation has raised $28,180 of the Gates’ riches for the children at www.donorschoose.org, Stephen’s charity. Be sure to the Stephen Colbert and Melinda Gates Foundation, and upload your face-it’s that easy!
Melinda Gates came across as a really good sport with Stephens antics. He has been mentioning her on the show for a long time, so the fact that she appeared on the show (and didn’t bolt off the set immediately after the interview like her husband did on The Daily Show) proves she’s an it-getter (which is our highest compliment to one another, right?)
Coming down from the Radiohead high was tough, but it was kind of nice to get back to normal. I think when I get a chance I might check out those Beerkenstocks. Seems to be a truly American invention.
What did y’all think of the episode? Be sure to comment.
Quotables:
- Since 2006, the Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation have worked tirelessly to figure out what we support.
- I don’t care how many angry letters we get, we are going to help the children (applause) I’m disappointed how late you were.
- Go to stephenandmelindagatesfoundation.org, where you will see Melinda Gates and I flanking Your Face Here.
- Voila! It’s Melinda, you, and me, in a freaky philanthropic three-way.
From the Rick Parry segment:
- That’s what you get when your head speech writer is Magnetic Poetry.
- I would go even further [in criticism] Parry threw up all over himself, then chopped off his own head and crapped in his own neck hole, slit open his belly and nailed his intestines to a tree and ran around it until unraveled his own guts. He defiled himself with every bodily fluid known to man other than santorum.
- At this point there is only one thing to say about Perry- I like this guy.
- Is that intelligible? No! That sounds like the fevered ramblings of a syphilitic brain. But he was authentic.
- George H.W. Bush threw up all over himself and the Prime Minister of Japan- that is called trickle down.
- A President doesn’t need to be articulate. When the moment of truth comes, he pushes the button. He doesn’t convince the button to push itself. He’s not the Convincer in Chief, he’s the Commander in Chief, and by command, I don’t mean of the English language.
- And America is clearly on this me on one.
- Clearly, Parry needs to show up at the next debate with a mouth full of angry bees.
- Well Governor Brewer has messed with the wrong Stephen Colbert, this one.
- Oh yeah, it’s time for Americans to have a serious debate over whether it’s cactus’s or cacti.
- Now Florida [‘s primary] going earlier makes sense. When your average voter is 93, every second counts.
- South Carolina has proven that unless you play by their rules, they will take their state and go home.
- Protect your interests, South Carolina, because as long as we’re deciding presidential bids, shouldn’t we give our state to the highest bidder?
From the Sport Report:
- I love NASCAR. It answers the question, what is my box of Tide could go 200 mph?
- Sheep? This is America. When we need to keep the grass short, we hire Mexicans.
- The Al Gorification of NASCAR must stop. I don’t want NASCAR recycling, or making their cars more fuel efficient, than their current 4-5 miles per gallon.
- I’d pay good money to watch corporate sponsored Flaming Vats of Gasoline. The winner is whomever’s black plume blots out the sun first.
- Full body pat downs, which make take a while, as some of the fans have very full bodies to pat.
- I need booze for any event longer than 3 hours. That’s as true for football as it is for jury duty.
Interview Quotables:
SC: I haven’t seen you at Board Meetings.
Melinda Gates: Haven’t you been emailing me?
SC: I have, and I have been getting “Cease and Desist” orders.
SC: Which is a greater challenge, eradicating disease, or improving America’s schools?
MG: One of things we’ve learned is that having an effective teacher at the front of the classroom is one of the single most important thing we can do for the public school system if we want to change it.
MG: We got 3,000 teachers … to allow us to videotape them. SC: At school? MG: At school, in the classroom. SC: I don’t know, there’s some strange stuff out there.
SC: You and your husband have pledged to give away 90% of your wealth to charitable endeavors. I know it sounds good, but how you are going to put food on the table, and then a table on a veranda, and then a veranda on the peninsula that you own?
MG: We actually haven’t put a number on what we are going to leave the kids.
SC: Can I put a number on what you can leave me?