September 22, 2011 — Jeremy Ben-Ami

EPISODE NUMBER: 7120 (September 22, 2011)
GUESTS: Jeremy Ben-Ami
SEGMENTS: Defunct Satellite Hurtles Toward Earth | Tip/Wag - Marine Core & Department of Homeland Security Obama’s U.N. Gaffes and Rick Perry’s Support for Israel | Sign Off: The Beloved Dog Lives On
SUIT REPORT: Navy Suit | White Striped Shirt | Blue Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, September 22, 2011

"The evacuation zone is this area. If you're one of the 6 billion thrill-seekers, in the impact zone, you will either want to flee to the safety of Anartica, or the Norwiegan Island of Svalbard.""

I wonder what happened to Tavis Smiley? It is unusual to have guest shifts on TCR, but it turned out having Mr. Ben-Ami was kismet, because on Saturday the issue of Palestinian statehood becomes paramount at the U.N. convening in New York. And clogging up all the arteries of Manhattan, to be sure.

Tonight’s episode was a bucket of silliness, but I think the laugh out loud guffawing thing was the Jeff Dunham treatment Stephen gave in the Tip/Wag segment. I’m not a big laugher at stereotypes of Middle Eastern people, but seeing him cradled by a be-burquaed woman was quite amusing. I’ll give him a pass.

What did you guys think of the episode? Remember, the Radioheads are coming Monday!! Yay!!!

Quotables:

• Let’s pray [the satellite] lands somewhere where it can’t do any damage, like Detroit.
• [Named] UARS: as in UARS all going to die.
• Tomorrow afternoon, give or take 14 hours. Which means you either have ’til Saturday morning, or you were vaporized two hours ago.
• [NASA warns] do not touch it, which means you are going to want to touch it.
• NASA has assured us that the chances of UARS hitting any one person are one in 21 trillion, with a margin of error of plus or minus 21 trillion.

• I always say “Do as I say, not as I do,” unless what I am saying is do what I do, in which do as I say.
• Our troops are out there risking their lives for our freedom, we owe them to freedom to unleash a loud, proud cheek-rattling chair scorcher.
• What did the Marines want the men on the ground to do: be silent but deadly? I’m sorry, but that sounds like terrorism to me.
• It’s just cruel. We can’t fill these soldiers with MREs, and then ask them to cease fire on their endless tours of duty.
• The Afghans are renowned for their civility and decorum. They always say “please” and “thank you” before burying an adulteress alive at the half time during a game of goat head polo.

• First, the [DHS] introduced the full body naked scanner, then refused to print out wallet sized copies on request. Why am I doing crunches?
• They [younger children] can keep their shoes on, so apparently, terrorism begins at puberty.
• On the surface this makes sense, that’s when [teenagers] start growing beards, experimenting with harmful chemicals, and spending hours in their sleeper cells. God knows what’s going on in there.
• Everyone knows a crying toddler can take a whole airplane hostage.

• The U.N. general assembly is meeting in New York, and it always has a big impact on the city, with food vendors abandoning their carts to represent their countries.
• A lot of world leaders are getting attention, perhaps none more than the Kenyan delegate, President Barack Obama.
• No surprises there- everybody knows that Obama has not shown no respect for our allies in Uolan Batur since day one.
• Peace is hard, unlike winning the Nobel Peace Prize, which is surprisingly easy.
• There is no greater friend of the State of Israel then yours truly. I will stand with them, until all the Jews are engathered, build the second temple, trigger the final battle of Armageddon that paves the way for the second coming of the Christ, at which all non-Christians will be cast into the Lake of Fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. You’re welcome, Israel.
• You know who would love that dance? The crowd at his Christian-only prayer rally.
• He has clearly shown no respect for his Excellency, President … (struggles to pronounce) … Genghis Yurt-Yak over here.


"Hello, I am child on my way to the Disney Place. This is my first time flying on Boeing 767 wide bodied jet with 400 wing extensions. I would like to sit near the weakest part of the fuselage, with my mother, and my shoes."

Interview Quotables:

SC:The United States cannot let [the vote on Palestinian statehood] happen right? The United States cannot let this happen, because the U.N. is a completely weak, ineffectual sham of an organization, but if this vote goes through, the world ends.
Jeremy Ben-Ami: The reason we’re against it is more that if this vote goes through it doesn’t really help us to end the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians.
SC: Is this a stunt?
JB-A: It’s symbolism, it’s important symbolism but it doesn’t end this decade’s long conflict.
SC: Here’s the danger I see, there is some kind of equivalency going on here, that you can draw some kind of false parallel, because Israel itself was created by a mandate from the U.N. What’s different about what Abbas is asking for? Isn’t what’s good for the goose, good for the gander, if goose is kosher?
JB-A: I’ll check with my Rabbi.

SC: How can there be two lobbies, I thought everybody has to be pro-Israel, love it or leave it, right?
JB-A: When you get a bunch of Jews in the room, you’re going to get many opinions.
SC: Do you believe in giving any land back?
JB-A: We do.
SC: I will see you in hell, if Jews believed in hell.

SC: Shared Jerusalem- the way Solomon wanted to share the baby?

JB-A: It doesn’t end well for the Jews.
SC: My friend, what does?

SC: How do you feel about the Obama, because he doesn’t feel like that much of a friend to the state of Israel, and I am not just saying that because it could help get my Republican friends elected.

SC: Constant existential crisis is kind of the jew’s thing.

JB-A: I think it’s absolutely essential to the survival of the state of Israel if it’s going to be jewish and democratic it has to have a state of Palestine living side by side in peace and security, it’s the only way there will be a democratic Israel.