EPISODE NUMBER: 10069 (February 26, 2014)
GUESTS: Meryl Davis & Charlie White
SEGMENTS: Michelle Obama vs. Child Obesity | Colbert’s Very Wanted - Who Took Gumby? | Fox News on Hillary Clinton’s Age | Sign Off - Chair Twirl
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Pale Blue Shirt | Navy Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, February 26, 2014
From comparisons of Michelle Obama to Kim Jong Un, to a harrowing tale of Gumby intrigue, to ageist, sexist treatment of Hillary Clinton’s potential presidential run by our friendly friends at Fox News, there was no stone left unturned in this ep. Truly great was the interview with ice dancing gold medalists Davis & White, who enthralled and enchanted us all.
What did you guys think of the show? Give us a twizzle in the comments.
Michelle Obama vs. Child Obesity
- I learned something that has shook me to my core. And once my core is shaken, don’t come a’knockin’.
“It’s so easy to mistake [Kim Jong Un & Michelle Obama.] They both look great in pantsuits. And Dear Leader has his own highly effective anti-obesity program: he is the only one in North Korea who gets to eat.”
“I believe the children are our future, and thanks to Michelle Obama, America has 40% less tomorrow. That’s just math.”
- And I don’t understand a First Lady accomplishing something. Everything they do is supposed to be a symbolic waste of time. Like Nancy Reagan’s “War on Drugs” or Laura Bush’s “Fight to End Presidential Illiteracy.”
- Ladies and Gentleman, thanks to Mrs. Obama, instead of carefree chubsters, we are now breeding a generation of body conscious tots doing bicycle spin classes, desperately trying to get back to their birth weight.
- We can still win [toddlers] over, folks. I think they’ll really identify with the current conservative economic message: “Mine!”
Colbert’s Very Wanted - Who Took Gumby?
Hipster couple Bob and Babs lament the theft of their beloved, 7 ft. tall styrofoam Gumby statue.
Bob: A piece of our soul is gone. A piece of me is gone. This little piece of Gumby is all I can see that’s left. The police told me that they have no leads? Who would do such a thing?
- Is there a serial Gumby abductor on the loose?
- There are two take-aways here: there is a Gumby abductor on the loose, and Phil isn’t drinking anymore.
- There were enough remains for a forensic anthropologist to make this disturbingly accurate reconstruction.
Bob: There are perverts who love sex with cartoon characters. So that could have been the reason for stealing. The cartoon characters don’t really talk back while they’re having sex; they, they endure it.
Poor Gumby. Oh, the sad, sick possibilities.
- Stephen: While Gumby endures, the message is simple: (Bob) “protect your Gumby.” Stephen: Before it’s too late.
Fox News on Hillary Clinton’s Age
- Nation, if you check your calendars, you will see that we are a scant 986 days away from the 2016 presidential election, and I’m feeling pretty good about the GOP’s chances. While the Dems are stuck with Hillary, the Republicans have an embarrassment of riches. Also, a lot of great candidates.
- And of course, there’s always Chris Christie. Yes, he’s in a bit of a rough patch right now, but by 2016 I am sure this whole scandal is going to be a bump in the (struggles, pauses, makes fist) I mean, I mean the whole thing is going to be water under the- (trails off in frustration)
- That’s right, Fox News is ready to project that in the 2016 presidential election, Hillary Clinton will be 2 years older.
- I mean, 69 is way too old to be president. I mean she’s going to be almost as old as Ronald Reagan was. But remember those were man years. Men age gracefully, like Robert Redford, or a nice leather wallet.
- I’m being told that Mrs. Clinton is even older than when I started this report 2 minutes ago.
“I know it’s rude to talk about a woman’s age, but that’s not what I am doing. I am talking about people talking about other people talking about other people talking about a woman’s age. That’s called journalism.”
Rush Limbaugh: Do the American people want to observe the aging of this woman in office?
- Stephen: If that how she looks today, imagine how she’ll look at 73? (Shows John McCain) That’s a best case scenario. In a second term, she can deteriorate into this (shows Rush Limbaugh) (wretches) Jimmy, take it down. The American people don’t want to observe that ever again.
Interview - Meryl Davis & Charlie White
Davis & White have been skating together consistently since they were 8 and 9 years old.
(.gifs by ericasreed)
Stephen: Do you need chairs right now, or Charlie, could you just hold Meryl over your head for the entire interview, and just (pants)
Charlie: I’d love to do it with a smile on my face.
Stephen: How do you get started at 8 and 9 and then stay together for 17 years?
Meryl: I give a lot of credit to our parents for that. Our parents similar outlooks on raising children, and we got very fortunate in that respect.
Stephen: […] Did the dedication [to keep skating together] go all the way through [their childhood]?
Charlie: I think it grew. You know, we really had no idea what we were getting into. We loved the sport, right off the bat we loved doing well -
Stephen: - few people enjoy sucking, Charlie!
Stephen: You guys have the most amazing chemistry on the ice, the expressiveness, the emotion is so incredible. America wants to know: do you guys have a relationship off the ice? Are you guys a couple?
Meryl: I mean, yes, but it’s a friendship.
Stephen: You’re not [a couple].
Charlie: We’re not.
Stephen: Well, I refuse to believe that, because if this is a lie, all love is a lie!
Stephen: Is there trash talk in Olympic ice dancing? Like backstage, are people going, “you’re looking a little chunky.”
Charlie: I think sometimes you think that really hard at other people.
Stephen: I’m not suggesting either of you is using performance enhancing drugs, but [Charlie's] hair must be doping.
Charlie: You know, it’s definitely a part of our persona on the ice. I can say that. It’s set us apart.
Sign Off - Good Night
Talk about desperate. What I’ve been dreading about FOX News has been summarized in two shows. Seriously, FOX news hyping over the war of religions is like worrying over a non-existent nightmare of disproportion. I’m hoping they will refrain from making illogical expositions about the opposition against Christmas, Easter, etc. Sigh, if only they watched what they said and reflect on their repugnant viewpoints (if any FOX reporter/Republican would dare face TCR and TDS’s ‘wrath’). Tee-hee.
I thought tonight’s guests were awesome. Mr. Neeson looks very good at 61, and “Non-Stop” sounds like an intriguing movie. I’m digging psychological action thriller these days, and the concept of the movie being on a plane makes it even better. I kinda wished the conversation about the New York horse carriages was better handled. It sounded very important and passionate on Neeson’s part, but it sounded too unconventional to Jonny-bun.
As for Meryl Davis and Charlie White, that interview was just plain cute. From the ‘twizzling’ (somebody better GIF that!), to addressing Charlie’s hair, Colbert played it out finely. Is it just me or does anyone agree there’s so much chemistry between Cheryl and Charlie? Just thinking how they’ve been skating since they were kids, and they totally ‘iced’ the competition during the Olympics, I wonder if they would want to settle together once they retire from the sport. Maybe it already happened, with the two practicing together everyday.
Tip of the Hat!
+3
The talking heads discussing Hillary Clinton’s age made me really uncomfortable. Rush Limbaugh is so nauseating, as Stephen so beautifully displayed.
I really enjoyed the interview. Charlie’s laugh was adorable! They are both so sweet and talented. I am happy that they took home the gold. Who knew that Stephen was such a fabulous twizzler?!
Tip of the Hat!
+2