EPISODE NUMBER: 10066 (February 20, 2014)
GUESTS: Gen. Stanley McChrystal | Bode Miller
SPECIAL GUEST: Scott Thompson (Buddy Cole)
SEGMENTS: Auction for Bill O’Reilly’s Stolen Microwave | Sochi Olympics 2014 - Bode Miller | Sport Report - From Russian With Love (But No Gay Stuff) - Buddy Cole Undercover | Stanley McChrystal | Sign Off - Microwave Auction - Stanley McChrystal
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | Light Blue Shirt | Navy/Silver Stripped Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, February 20, 2014
Saturday (2/22) is the last day to bid on Bill O’Reilly’s stolen microwave. It was selling for as high as $98,000, but since those bids were not legitimate it is now going for $3,100. Bonus - Now it’s signed by Gen. Stanley McChrystal. Over in Papa Bear’s No Spin Zone, the bids on his notes from President Obama’s interview soared to whopping $9,999,999. No legitimacy there, either. The bid is now at $30,000. So, get your credit cards out, kids!
Scott Thompson’s performance as Buddy Cole has been brilliantly entertaining. (Even if he is - gasp! - Canadian.) Buddy’s coverage of the Olympics came to it’s dramatic conclusion tonight, but I hope it’s not the last we see of him on The Report.
Auction for Bill O’Reilly’s Stolen Microwave
- This microwave is just like Bill O’Reilly. It’s a little old, it’s a little square and does not care what you’re saying. Oh, it will cut your mic!
Bill O’Reilly: “So, Colbert - fresh from his visit to The White House to honor the French president - is mocking my charitable efforts for The Fisher House. Dubious? Might be, but we appreciate the publicity. In fact; a tip of the day - The Fisher House is a very worthy charity. And Colbert is a … not gonna say it.”
- Great humanitarian? Stud muffin? The wind beneath your wings?
- Please, folks, go to Colbert Nation and bid on the microwave. The auction ends this Saturday. Again, all proceeds go to the Yellow Ribbon Fund. You could be the owner of this microwave, signed by me and Bill O’Reilly. Please, Bill, sign my microwave. Otherwise you are gonna look like a real … not gonna say.
“Dream weaver.”
Sochi Olympics 2014 - Bode Miller
Stephen: Is this going be your last Olympics?
Bode: I don’t know. I mean, I brought home the bronze in my wife’s favorite event. So, I think maybe this will be the time to hang it up, but if I can go for another one; if my body holds up …
Stephen: At least go for the Curling Team.
Stephen: You’re the oldest athlete to ever medal in alpine skiing. How old are you? 78? 79?
Bode: I turn 50 in 15 years.
Sport Report - From Russia With Love (But No Gay Stuff) - Buddy Cole Undercover
Stephen: After a week in Sochi, I’m disappointed that you never found Vladimir Putin’s Russian gay threat.
Buddy: Au contraire, Stephen. I finally found them. But in order to get to the bottom of the story or the top - I’m not picky - I had to go deep undercover and disguise myself as a homosexual.
Stephen does a spit-take, then yells: “What?! You, gay?!”
Buddy: I needed to infiltrate Sochi’s only gay bar, Club Mayak. I sat down with the owner, Andrei Tanichev.
Buddy: Has business gotten worse since the anti-gay propaganda laws?
Andrei: Absolutely not. It’s a silly law that can’t be enforced. For me, gay relationships are traditional. For someone else, they are not.
Buddy: So, Vladimir Putin. He seems to be having a relationship with a cheetah. Would that be a traditional relationship?
Andrei: Most people would consider that a non-traditional relationship. Also, he often appears shirtless with his bare nipples.
Buddy: I know! I like his nipples!
Buddy: I never considered myself a gay activist, but something about this place was starting to gay activate me.
Buddy: I was getting propagandized from every direction.
Buddy: Turns out Putin is right. There is a gay threat in Russia. And I am his latest victim.
Stephen: Buddy, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Sochi.
Buddy: Oh, I flew back.
Stephen: During the four minute piece? It’s a nine hour flight.
Buddy: Yes, but there’s a nine hour time difference, so it all works out.
Stephen: I’m afraid I realized something about you that’s disturbing and you’ve been keeping it from me.
Buddy: Oh. Really? I don’t think so. I’ve been completely above board with you. What is it, Stephen?
Stephen: You hid something. You tried to hide it from me, but you cannot hide it anymore. You … are a Canadian.
Buddy: It’s true. I’m sorry, but how could you tell?
Stephen: Well, um, you seem a little gay.
Interview - Gen. Stanley McChrystal
Stephen: You retired after it was reported in Rolling Stone Magazine that you had criticized the civilian chain of command, specifically the President. What actually happened there? Was that just a case of Obama losing another American’s job? In this case, yours. Why did you have to retire?
Gen. McChrystal: There was an article that came out that put President Obama, my Commander-In-Chief, in a difficult position. And that’s not what a commander is supposed to do when he works for a Commander-In-Chief. So, what I did was I offered my resignation to the President and he accepted it. I think that I did the right thing, because when something like that happens the most important thing is the mission and the people that work for you.
Sign Off - Microwave Auction - Stanley McChrystal
The Hub invites you to share your thoughts with us in the comment section.
The microwave was helped by General McChrystal autograph, because it went up to 3,550. Considering Papa Burrr’s little piece of memorabilia was signed by the President, I guess it’s a good sized bid, relatively speaking.
Nice ep guide, Clem! The dreamweaver thing was a little random, but it gave us a nice screen grab up there, so we’ll take it. Buddy Cole had a nice conclusion to his fantastic field pieces, but unfortunately Stephen’s character learned finally he was gay, so hope he wasn’t too disappointed.
Tip of the Hat!
+1
Stephen could have ask Scott Thompson and Bode Miller to sign the microwawe.
Interestingly, the highest bid for O’Reilly’s notes is still 30,000, like it was over a week ago.
Tip of the Hat!
+2
The microwave final bid was $5400, or maybe $5300. One or the other. Not bad. I think Bill signed it. Behind the scenes, I really think Bill respects Stephen and likes what he does. It’s all an act.
Tip of the Hat!
+2
I got to ask Stephen Colbert a question!!! Then immediately admit to him I never finished the Simarillion.
I asked him how he would feel about a Ken Burns style Simarillion documentary. He seemed to really like the idea.
Tip of the Hat!
+1
It is so great that you got to ask Stephen a question. Thank you for sharing this with us on The Hub!
Tip of the Hat!
0
Great question chinesian and welcome to the Hub!
I have often wondered if they would turn any other Tolkein novels to the big screen. This was an option I hadn’t thought of. And don’t worry, I haven’t read it either.
Tip of the Hat!
0