EPISODE NUMBER: 10061 (February 10, 2014)
GUEST: Patrick Kennedy
SPECIAL GUEST: Scott Thompson (Buddy Cole)
SEGMENTS: Rocky Start at the Sochi Olympics | Sport Report - From Russia With Love (But No Gay Stuff) | Taliban Dognappers | Patrick Kennedy | Sign Off - Buddy Cole
SUIT REPORT: Grey Pinstripe Suit | Light Blue Shirt | Gold/Navy Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, February 10, 2014

Buddy Cole, Stephen’s old Producer. Fabulous!

Scott Thompson! What more needs to be said? Well, like how about awesome?

Rocky Start at the Sochi Olympics

• Now I spent all weekend watching figure skating. I love all the moves. The Triple Sow-Cow, the Double Axle, the Shoeless Joe Jackson, all of them.
• I only had one criticism, you do the history of Russia and no giant inflatable Reagan knocking down a Berlin Wall made of Tron Rollerbladers?

Apparently, during the opening ceremonies, the five snowflakes pattern was supposed to morph into the five Olympic rings, but one of them malfunctioned.

• No, it did not malfunction. It’s just that the IOC is so litigious, that even the Olympics are not allowed to show the Olympic logo.

One U.S. Olympian got stuck in his hotel bathroom and had to literally break down the door to get out.

• That’s just bonus strength training. Now our guys will be prepared to bust through any doors on the Bobsled track.
• All Olympics have last minute construction issues. On the plus side, this year’s biathlon combines cross country skiing with hanging drywall.

Sport Report - From Russia With Love (But No Gay Stuff)

Love that Graphic!

Scott Thompson is great. I knew his character’s name sounded familiar and it is. Buddy Cole, if you don’t already know is a character from Kids in The Hall. I had to look it up myself because the ol’ noodle’s memory ain’t what it used to be.

• Nation, I am going back to the Olympics… (audience wildly cheers for a few seconds)…is something I would say if they weren’t in Russia.

Stephen: Buddy and I go way back, we met at theater camp, where he had an amazing gaydar. I mean if you were gay, Buddy would smoke you out.
Buddy: It’s true. I uncovered every single gay man in camp, well, except for one. (gives Stephen a knowing look)
Stephen: Well, you’ll get him one day.
Buddy: I certainly hope so.

Buddy is going to Russia to cover the Olympics. First he went to interview the U.S. Ambassador to the Organization for the Security and Co-operation in Europe, Dan Baer.

Buddy: You can call me Buddy Cole.
Dan: You can call me Dan.
Buddy: That’s wonderful, because those happen to be our names.

Buddy: You’re one of only 5 openly gay ambassadors. Do your parents know?
Dan: My parents do know.
Buddy: How did they take it when they found out that you work for the government?
Dan: My mom has been very supportive of my career for the government.

Buddy: So this law means that if I’m wearing a rainbow t-shirt, that could get me arrested?
Dan: I think it could because it’s such a vague law.
Buddy: But seriously Dan, don’t you think wearing a rainbow shirt should get you arrested? I mean why not go out dressed as a unicorn? I mean if you can’t decide on a color wear black or nothing at all, or just don’t go out!

Buddy: I wouldn’t want to run afoul of these laws. I’ve been practicing some phrases, to get me out of trouble:

• (Adopts deeper voice) Can you point me to the nearest hardware store?
• Women! Am I right? Who needs ‘em? except for their vaginas.
• Vaginas … can I have two of them? How ’bout one in every color?

There will be more Buddy Cole during the Olympics. YAY!

Taliban Dognappers

The taliban have captured a military dog that serves as a spy.

• Those sons of bitches kidnapped a son of a bitch!
• What are you gonna do, make him talk by putting peanut butter on the roof of his mouth?

We are supposed to complete our mission in Afghanistan, but now that they have kidnapped a dog, the whole world will be with us and Stephen brings up a relentless ally, Sarah MacLachlan.

• You think war is hell? Just wait until you see that “Arms of the Angels” ad playing on every TV in Afghanistan. Once you get that thing stuck in your head, you’ll be praying for a drone strike.

Interview - Patrick Kennedy

He is for mental health advocacy and against Marijuana. Nowadays, being against Marijuana, especially as a democrat, is odd.

He has a cause called Project SAM. He believes that the brain should be considered part of the body, at least for insurance and payment purposes. In the past, insurance companies have discriminated against people with mental health issues, charging more for services related to mental illnesses.

Stephen: but, if your brain illness is bad enough, you don’t know you’re being discriminated against.

The reason he is opposed to Marijuana legalization is because of the big business aspect. That may be a good reason to be anti-mary jane, but as it is now, we are seeing people go to jail for years and years, just for smoking weed? How is that better?

Well, later in the interview he said that he is for alternative sentencing, like fines and treatment instead of jail. Okay.

He also talked about the fact that he has used drugs and it’s an addiction. For him, Marijuana was a gateway drug and he was also addicted to Oxycontin at one time.

Sign Off - Buddy Cole

Stephen mentions that on tomorrow’s show, Buddy Cole sits down with the U.S. Speedskating team.