EPISODE NUMBER: 9071 (March 5, 2013)
GUESTS: James Franco | Michael Oren
SEGMENTS: Hugo Chavez & Jon Stewart | Obama’s Israel Trip | Obama’s Israel Trip - Michael Oren | Mars Flyby Mission | Sign Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark Grey suit jacket | light blue dress shirt | Red tie with red and blue stripes
VIDEOS: Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Intro - 3/5/13
“Tonight! President Obama says ‘Aloha’ to Israel. Then my guest James Franco is the star of the new movie, ‘Oz, the Great and Powerful’. I’ll nail him and his little dog too.”
“Queen Elizabeth has been released from the hospital for what they say is a stomach bug. Either that, or there’s another royal baby on the way. This is the Colbert Report.”
Hugo Chavez & Jon Stewart
Two big breaking stories to start the show. Kinda fun when that happens.
“There are two huge breaking stories tonight. First,Hugo Chavez…is dead. This leaves a big hole in South American politics and an even bigger collection of flag track suits.”
The other big breaking news is that Jon is leaving the Daily Show for twelve weeks in the summer. Stephen revealed why:
“We wish him all the best in his new project, ruling the country of Venezuela.”
Is it wrong to love how the death of a country’s leader makes for a great opportunity for comedy gold? Well, in this case, it did. Jon looks pretty good in that beret.
Obama’s Israel Trip
Obama is visiting Israel for the first time, since becoming President. Wow. Really?
“Oh now he thinks he can wipe out his shameful record of never visiting Israel, by visiting Israel. It is a shonda. Do not fall for it my chosen brethren, my he-bros.”
Obama will be receiving the Presidential Medal of Distinction while he is over there. It’s made of chocolate, though so it doesn’t seem like that big a deal.
Apparently, Benjamin Netanyahu wanted…what is his name?
Since Netanyahu aligned himself with Romney, will that make things awkward when Obama visits?
Obama’s Israel Trip - Michael Oren
The Ambassador from Israel to the United States came on to discuss the trip Obama will take and confirm how we are super BFF’s with Israel. Also, to say that Netanyahu really likes Obama and he didn’t really want that other guy…what was his name?
Michael: Israel doesn’t get involved in internal politics.
Stephen: You’re adorable, you are adorable!
Michael: I’m from Washington, DC
Stephen: You’re from Israel. What are you talking about?
Michael: I work in Washington.
Stephen: You’re gonna pull a Captain Kirk, ‘I work in space, I’m from Iowa.’
Mars Flyby Mission
Dennis Tito, rich guy, wants to send a married couple to Mars. In order to do that, they will have to put up with lots of human waste. Like, A LOT of human waste. Sign me up!
Tito wants to do this because he’s been waiting a long time to see someone go out past the moon. He’s been waiting and waiting.
“This brave entrepreneur will send two astronauts to Mars for the noblest of reasons, impatience. It reminds me of John F Kennedy’s speech about sending a man to the moon”:
“This… journey is not for the faint of heart. It will have no showers, limited toilet paper and clothing use, drinking water made from the astronauts’ recycled urine and sweat and almost no privacy. Basically it’s a Carnival Cruise.”
Apparently out in space you can suffer from advanced Alzheimer’s from exposure to radiation from the sun. So in order to protect the astronauts on board, they must use a poop shield. It’s a shield. It’s made of poop. Yup.
The people who will be selected to go on this adventure will be a married couple. This is because of the cramped close quarters.
“They can redecorate. One side of the capsule gets her poop, one side gets his poop, or they can alternate; her poop, his poop.”
James Franco
He came on to talk about “Oz: The Great and Powerful”. He plays the title role.
He is also going to be in “Of Mice and Men” on Broadway and he mentioned that they are still casting…Stephen? hello? Stephen didn’t commit.
Oh James, when will you learn that there is no bigger Tolkien geek than Stephen? The Renaissance man may be good at everything, but there is no one better at one thing than Stephen, and that one thing is Tolkien.
(apologies in case of misspellings. I know nothing about Tolkien, guys)
James: Name me two…just two of the Valar.
Stephen: (pauses for dramatic effect) Do you want the Valar of water Omo or do you want the hunter of the Valar Oromea or do you want the Valar of the trees….(anyone smell smoke?)
Stephen goes onto list about seven more.
Stephen: You come into my house? You come into my house? How dare you!!
I am so happy for Jon going off and becoming El Presidente de Venezuela! Felicitaciones, amigo! But seriously, I felt like Stephen was saying “it’ll be fine.” I hope so. I hope for Stephen’s sake John Oliver rocks. it.
Don’t get Stephen’s love for Franco, but it makes for funny interviews. Doubtful Of Mice and Men would be possible, but it’s nice to know he is still thinking of the theatre.
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Anybody else hoping Stephen does something with John Oliver while he’s hosting? I always got the impression that John really wanted to work with Stephen more if he could, and it could be a lot of fun.
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Oooh I got to watch the show!! First one in weeks!!! Oh how I miss thee TCR! I forgot just how much joy it brings me….especially the silly stuff, and the second and third acts of the show definitely brought the silly! The interview was great! I had a crush on Franco during his Freaks and Geeks, and James Dean days. I used to say back then, “James Dean? Hot. James Franco? Hot. James Franco as James Dean? HOLY HOT!!” hahaha. Anyway, I’ve moved on to a far greater Tolken mind since then.
I personally think that the new OZ movie looks absolutely terrible, mainly because it has way too many special effects. I swear the ones they had in the ’39 version looked more realistic and that was 74 years ago! Maybe that’s just the previews though, I don’t know. Anyway, poor Franco didn’t get a chance to answer a question for Stephen…..maybe they should have a special web edition showdown like the Catholic Throwdown Colbert had with Jack White! Oh now that would be great.
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@Erika:
I was thinking the same thing Erika. I’m hoping maybe Stephen will be doing a couple of tosses with John Oliver. That would be fun.
Anyhow, I thought last nights show was great. I loved the interview with James Franco, I used to watch him on Freaks and Geaks years ago when it was on. But, I have to agree with you Erika, I really have no desire to see the new OZ movie, it doesn’t look that good to me either.
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I would love it if they started to do more things together with John Oliver. I wonder if this isn’t a sign of things to come. If Jon slowly eases out of his chair at the Daily Show, and John O takes over permanently, maybe Stephen will still do the Report, if he’s built up a rapport with John with an H. (see how I did that? Report and rapport? eh? *knocks on screen* eh?) I’ll be interested to see where John takes it. He doesn’t own it so he can’t really take it in a new direction, but hopefully he may have some freedom. I think the way Jon has done it, it’s become too ranty. I wish it was more like it was back in the days with Steve, Ed, Rob and Stephen.
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Llama, I love that last screencap! That Tolkien showdown was complete awesomeness. I love how much Franco loves that Stephen is the biggest Tolkien fan alive. And when Stephen got all cocky at the end when he answered Franco’s question, that was hilarious. One day, people will learn not to underestimate the Tolkien knowledge that is in that man’s head.
I could be wrong, but I believe if you look on Mitt Romney’s birth certificate, his real birth name is Putz Schmuckney. It has to be.
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@Erika:
Erika, I agree with you. I think there have been little hints that John and Stephen would like to work together, and I bet they’ll do their best to help each other through Jon’s absence.
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@Erika and Karenatasha:
I assume come changes will have to take place over at TDS to accommodate John, so with some luck they will be able to sync a Toss in every now and then.
Although, it would be cool if Stephen hadn’t mentioned it on the show last night, and one day randomly popped over to Jon’s office and he wasn’t there and freak out or run off with all of his Emmy’s.
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I’m going to be a voice of dissent for a change. I actually like James Franco. Sometimes he can be a bit pretentious, and he’s not the best poet (case in point: his poem for Obama’s 2nd inauguration was a big “Huh?” for me), but he has a roguish charm about him, plus I’m a sucker for men who are intelligent, creatively talented and always eager to keep learning new things (like Stephen), so I enjoyed the interview and was just tickled at the part where Franco foolishly tried to stump Stephen and got slaughtered. Again. To echo llama, when will people learn never to challenge Stephen about Tolkien? And I for one am excited for the Oz movie. I enjoy revisionist tellings of stories (I love the Wicked book and musical), so I’m interested to see how this prequel will play out.
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Tolkein Q&A tibits from reddit:
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I love that last screenshot-Stephen dancing off in ballet attitude. A little David Hallberg has stayed with him, hmmm?
The more I think about it, the more I am hoping for some Oliver/Colbert fun. The toss was originally designed to help Stephen’s show get off the ground, and I think Stephen will want to pay it back by helping Jon’s show stay strong during his absence. And yes-I will never forget Stephen and John during that chase scene (as Stephen tries to get his SuperPac back) stopping to have a quick chat about doing something together. The time has come, guys!
But I still think if Jon goes for good, so does Stephen. I think he means it.
As for Franco, I just can’t like the guy. He’s a poseur to me, as one of his profs made clear: you want to do a degree, commit to it. If you can’t even commit to one, then don’t start doing two. I’ve taught, and I know that being in the classroom and engaging in debate with your fellow students, is one of the most important paths to learning and moving toward an advanced degree. Also crucial is being there to open yourself up to the unexpected and finding yourself becoming passionate about something totally new. Everyone here knows me and my craziness for Brazil, but that happened thanks to a marvelous prof in graduate school who opened my eyes to something I had never considered. Franco never made himself part of the experience, and by setting the boundaries of what he would study in advance, he limited himself. (Which is why he may feel, with all that obnoxious superiority, that the degrees weren’t worth it.) Just my two cents about this.
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