EPISODE NUMBER: 8113 (June 18, 2012)
GUESTS: Paul Krugman
SEGMENTS: Intro |Barack Obama’s Immigration Policy Change | Press Interruption at Barack Obama’s Immigration Address | Operation Artificial Swedener - Sweden’s Response | Sign Off — Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Black Suit | White Shirt | Black tie (with blue sprinkles)
VIDEOS: Monday, June 18, 2012

Oh where to begin! Plenty of corrections and refutations in this episode. Over the weekend there was lots of buzz about Obama’s immigration policy shift. Stephen’s pointing out the obvious, that Obama has the latino vote in a headlock and does not need to pander for the demographic, was refreshing to see addressed.

Loved also the take on Obama’s extra long pause there- truly, the President can take long, oratorical pauses, so Mr. Munro’s excuse didn’t quite hold water. Stephen plays the Wilford-Brimley-obsessed bratty frat boy news reporter so well.

Oh dear sweet innocent Sonja the Swede, you are simply adding to the hilarity that is this #artificalswedener project. Remember to email [email protected] and help keep the pressure on to get our voice swedishly heard. But Stephen, stop throwing expensive things around the studio! We know you gots Apple in your back pocket and all, but you might not be promoting the most non-stereotypical image of wasteful Americanism there. This will not help with the Twitter take over campaign, me thinks.

I think it’s safe to say that Paul Krugman is the unofficial Economist of the Colbert Nation. The bit about Stephen meeting Jon at the NJ turnpike was ridiculously funny…so that’s how he got the show. There will now be a surge in young aspiring actors working the toll booths.

Interesting how Krugman tied it all together at the end, by stating that Sweden was a successful economic model for the world, really. Stephen chose well in adopting his new country, and eschewing the land of his ancestors, Ireland.

What are your thoughts on the episode? Feel free to let us know in the comments.

Intro

Tonight! A conservative reporter interrupts the President. If I were that reporter, I wouldn’t go to any cafes in Yemen.

Then, I get embroiled in an international incident. Now, I can never go back to Epcot.

And my guest, New York Times columnist Paul Krugman, has written a book called End This Depression Now! If I worked for the New York Times, I’d be depressed too.

Mike Tyson’s one-man show is coming to Broadway. Finally, a show as dangerous as Spiderman.

Is this a new word I see in the Intro: “Smartyr”?

Barack Obama’s Immigration Policy Change

This is shocking! Obama has thrown open America’s doors to people who are already here. Now we can expect a steady stream of preexisting-pouring into their present locations.

The President’s not supposed to do anything in an election year, let alone the right thing.

Now I might be a conspiracy theorist, but I am beginning to think that Barack Obama trying to get reelected.

These Asian kids can grow up to be anything they want to be, even Hispanic.

Just look at what the democratic logo is: a burro. And I am sure if you hit it with a stick, candy and free health care falls out.

I don’t think hispanics are going to fall for Obama’s little ploy of promising to help, and then doing it. They want a man of principle, a man who will promise not to help, and then won’t.

Yes, if Mitt Romney is elected, illegals will self-deport. In fact, some Americans might join them. That’s how effective the policy would be.

Press Interruption at Barack Obama’s Immigration Address

…and this POTUS Interruptus [Neil Monro] sparked a firestorm from liberals and conservatives alike.

Full disclosure, I am a member of the White House Press Corps. Well, technically the White House Press Reserves - one weekend a month. And last Friday, even I mixed it up with the President.

Operation Artificial Swedener – Sweden’s Response

Folks, I don’t have to tell you this, I have the best audience in the world. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the crowds on the other shows almost never chant “Stephen! Stephen!”

Which is why you folks, in here, out there, are more than viewers, you are members of the Colbert Nation. Right now we are engaged in serious, high level diplomatic talks with Sweden, the woodsy socialist utopia that’s pretty much Scandinavia’s Canada, or Scandinadada.

One Swede every week: I believe that’s also how their universal health care system shares the country’s one thermometer.

It was all part of my top-secret, Twitter take over project, Operation #artificialswedener.

I don’t know what that is in Swedish, but oooohhh.

Excuse me, Sweden, but I do not do patience. I’ve been thrown out of a half a dozen performances of Waiting for Godot. Just show up already so we can go home!

And the people of Sweden are clearly behind me. Last week, the hashtag # artificialswedener and the name Stephen Colbert both trended in Sweden, replacing the Swedish trending topic of #Norweigans are a degenerate race of thieving herring molesters.

Oh dear sweet innocent, Sonja. You have so much to learn. This is America. Our streets are paved with broken iPhones.

Ours is a land of such plenty, we use our iPhones for just about everything. For instance, here’s how I stir my coffee. (Stirs with iPhone.) Oh, you can really taste the voided warranty.

So, c’mon Sweden! Man up! Your people clearly want me. And you don’t have to worry about citizenship, I am a Swede. I mean, just check out the famous Swedish person page on Wikipedia. (works over his iPad.) Okay now check it.

(On the @sweden twitter account doubling in followers) You see, Americans are beginning to notice you. Soon, we may even be able to find your country on a map.

So keep up the pressure nation, email your support of me to [email protected].

Soon, Sweden will crumble beneath our onslaught, like an Ikea bookshelf under a book.

Interview

SC: Your words of mine, sir.

SC: What is the difference between a depression and a recession. I know a depression gives us A Greatest Generation, does a recession give us the goodest generation?

Paul Krugman proposed campaign slogan: “It’s Not As Bad As the Great Depression”

SC: So End This Depression Now, that’s a one page book: Elect Mitt Romney.

Paul Krugman: Oh boy. Umm…wow.

SC: [Guys in the 1%] are willing to help America. I am willing to let you cut my taxes.

PK: The 1% has an awful lot of political influence.

SC: Because we know what we’re doing, because we got our money we’re the smart guys.

PK: A lot of it is choosing the right parents, really helps. A lot of it is just plain luck along the way.

SC: Obviously, the way to get out of a real depression is a War in Europe. And our we gonna get one over there, cause, how is Europe doing?

PK: Europe is in big trouble….they made a terrible mistake, which is one currency without one government. and they’ve compounded that by having a lot of the wrong policies.

SC: …you want to turn America into Europe’s economic problems.

PK: So let’s see. Which is the famous, most generous welfare state in the world actually…you just had it on the program, Sweden. Sweden is an incredibly generous welfare state…

SC: Paul, we Swedes are very worried about our country.

PK: …but Sweden is doing very well.

Interesting contrast:

PK: Ireland is Romney economics in practice, they’ve laid off a large fraction of their public work force, they’ve slashed spending, they’ve had extreme austerity programs, they haven’t really raised taxes on corporations or the rich at all. They have 14% unemployment, 30% youth unemployment,…and has zero economic growth. Ireland is a demonstration, I think Ireland is America’s future if Mitt Romney is elected.

SC: But the Irish can handle it. The Irish do very well in bleak, depressing times. They’ve got those jigs and everything that they do.

Sign Off — Goodnight

I think Stephen just wanted to make a zany face at the end: