EPISODE NUMBER: 10058 (February 4, 2014)
GUEST: Pussy Riot
SEGMENTS: Black History of Children’s Dental Health Month & Chris Christie’s Bridge Scandal Connection | Chris Christie vs. David Wildstein on the New Jersey Bridge Scandal | Pussy Riot Pt. 1 | Pussy Riot Pt. 2 | Sign Off - Pussy Riot & “Bringing Human Rights Back Home”
SUIT REPORT: Light Grey Pinstriped Suit | Light Blue Shirt | Maroon/Light Blue Stripped Tie | Fluro Green Mask
VIDEOS: Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Black History of Children’s Dental Health Month & Chris Christie’s Bridge Scandal Connection

• Once again it’s February, folks, which is Black History Month. But did you know that it’s also Children’s Dental Health Month?
• That means it’s an important month for African-Americans, children with teeth, but especially African-American children with teeth.
• The point is, kids, great African-American leaders like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King want you to floss.

• Folks, baseless attacks continue to be levied against Chris Christie, my personal friend that I look forward to meeting one day.
• The governor put the Bridgegate non-scandal to bed weeks ago. Well, guess what? Somebody woke it up, folks, and it’s cranky as hell.

“Bombshell new allegations; A former New Jersey Transportation official, who once worked for Chris Christie, is making new claims tonight, suggesting the governor lied about when he knew of the GW Bridge lane closures.”

“A lawyer for David Wildstein writes ‘…evidence exists tying Mr. Christie to having knowledge of the lane closures.’”

• Evidence exists … Ooooo! It “exists.” And should evidence ever be “presented,” shaking in my boots would “occur.”

Chris Christie vs. David Wildstein on the New Jersey Bridge Scandal

• Folks, this is just the governor’s word against David Wildstein’s. Yes, they were high school classmates and yes, Christie created a job at the Port Authority to appoint Wildstein, to. But it’s not like they were close. Right, governor?

Chris Christie: “David and I were not friends in high school. We were not even acquaintances in high school. I was the class president and athlete. I don’t know what David was doing during that period of time.”

• The governor destroyed Wildstein’s reputation by releasing a memo filled with five damning revelations.
• All of this just pales when compared to the darkest revelation that Wildstein was publicly accused by his high school social studies teacher of deceptive behavior.
• Folks, I shudder to think what that could mean. Did he improperly footnote a term paper? Did he forge his mom’s signature for a field trip to Colonial Williamsburg? Did he cover his crotch with a notebook while giving an oral report? Or upon hearing the words “oral report?”
• Unfortunately, David Wildstein’s social studies teacher was unavailable for comment because he is deceased.

• I was able to contact one person who knows both Christie and Wildstein. Please welcome their first grade teacher, Mrs. Ludermier.

Stephen: I hear you have some damaging revelations about what David Wildstein was like as a first grader.
Mrs. Ludermier: Yes, Stephen. He was an untrustworthy little ruffian. One time he said he needed to tinkle, but once he was in the bathroom he just played with the soap dispenser.
Stephen: Did you also teach Chris Christie?
Mrs. Ludermier: Christopher?! Oh, he was a joy! Kids like Chrissy are why I teach. Definitely presidential material. (Starts reading from a card) A born leader with executive experience.
Stephen: Mrs. Ludermier, you’re reading off of note cards. Did Chris Christie’s people get to you?
Mrs. Ludermier: Yes. He closed off two lanes of the lunch line. I wouldn’t endorse him and a week later the class goldfish turned up dead! I could be next!
Stephen: You stay strong, Mrs. Ludermier.

Pussy Riot Pt. 1

Stephen: You are members of - pardon the expression - Pussy Riot. You were arrested in Russia and thrown in jail. What did you do that got you arrested?
Nadya: We sang a fun song in a church.
Stephen: So you broke the law?
Nadya: And seemingly we broke it many times before that because we had a lot of fun songs. One of them was called “Putin Piss Off.”
Stephen: Now, Vladimir’s a friend. I’m gonna edit out anything bad you say about him. I want you to know that.
Nadya: It’s okay. We’re making our own taping right now.
Stephen: You will be searched before you leave the building.
Nadya: We’ve had two years of practice hiding things from searches.

Stephen: What do you have against Vladimir Putin? He’s a strong man. That’s what Russia needs.
Nadya: We have different ideas about a bright future and we don’t want a shirtless man on a horse leading us into that bright future.
Stephen: Vladimir and I get together shirtless and go hunting all the time. Sometimes we don’t even get around to the hunting.
Nadya: You should take some handsome boys with you.

Stephen: How bad has it gotten with the gay propaganda? Can you go anywhere in Russia without gay people turning you gay?
Masha: It’s very bad. They’re about to make being part of the gay community a criminal offense.
Stephen: Do you think many gay people will make the right decision and stop being gay?
Nadya: I don’t know. In our experience, it just turns them on even more.
Stephen: I’ve heard that.
Masha: And there is also a danger of a new law being passed against gay extremism.
Stephen: What is gay extremism?
Masha: In the eyes of our government it probably just means being public about about being gay.

Pussy Riot Pt. 2

Stephen: You said that you were only released as a public relations stunt for the Sochi Olympic Games. Do you believe that’s true?
Nadya: We don’t think it was a very successful political stunt. We don’t think that it actually improved the image of Russia, so maybe Putin made a mistake and he should just throw us back in jail.
Stephen: I wouldn’t tempt him.
Nadya: We’d much rather work on freeing the people who are still in jail; who got arrested on Bolotnaya Square on the 6th of May for standing up for freedom. And there are twelve people in jail right now with terms ranging from five years to six years. And while this is happening, no PR stunt can fix Russia’s image.
Stephen: What are you doing in the United States?
Masha: We’ve come here to look at American prisons, to talk to human rights activists and to learn from their experience.

Stephen: How many members of Pussy Riot are there?
Masha: It’s a big secret. We can’t tell you, but you need to find people in masks to learn more about Pussy Riot.
Stephen: Can anyone be in Pussy Riot?
Masha: Of course. Even you.

Sign Off - Pussy Riot & “Bringing Human Rights Back Home”

Tomorrow night Pussy Riot will be at the Barclay Center in Brooklyn for the Bringing Human Rights Back Home Concert.