EPISODE NUMBER: 10022 (November 12, 2013)
GUESTS: David Christian | Trita Parsi
SEGMENTS: Intro 11/12/13 | Obamacare Enrollment Troubles | Iran Nuke Negotiations - French Resistance | Iran Nuke Negotiations - Trita Parsi | Shanty Town Glamour Camp | Sign Off - “A Single Roll of the Dice”
SUIT REPORT: Black Suit | White Shirt w/Black Pin Stripes | Black & White Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Greetings and salutations, Hubsters! In this episode, Stephen made a major announcement: He doesn’t like Barack Obama and he’ll bravely tell you why! We can all relax now that France has saved the world with the Iran Nuke Negotiations. Stephen has a lively chat with the President of The National Iranian American Counsel, who questions Stephen’s loyalty to America. I, for one, can’t wait to unwind at Stephen’s new resort, Frigidaire Lodge At Overpass Meadows. David Christian assures Stephen that he is, indeed, the center of the universe. But we already knew that!

So, what did you think of this episode? Don’t be shy - we want to know your thoughts! Comment away!

Intro 11/12/13

• Tonight! Weapons of mass destruction in Iran. Damn, George Bush was off by just one letter!
• Then, a new vacation spot for the wealthy. It’s hard to get away from it all when you own it all.
• Lady Gaga says she’s addicted to pot. So, be on the lookout in case she starts exhibiting any odd behavior.

Obamacare Enrollment Troubles

• Please, can I have your attention?! I have a major announcement to make! I don’t like Barack Obama. There, I said it. Where do I find the courage?
• I’ll tell you why, folks. The man is a liar. Remember how he sold us Obamacare?

Barack Obama: “If you like your insurance plan, you will keep it.”

• But now, millions of Americans have had their coverage ripped from them.
• I believe it’s the plot of ‘Taken 3.’ First it was his daughter, then his wife, now they’ve taken his health plan.

• Well, folks, we finally got the hard numbers on Obamacare’s disastrous first month. Stop, Hammer time …

“Fox’s Alert Now. We get our first look now at the Obamacare enrollment numbers and this has a long way to go. ‘The Wall Street Journal’ reports fewer than 50,000 Americans successfully signed up.”

• 50,000! To put that into perspective that is fewer people than watch ‘Up Late With Alex Baldwin.’
• So, Obamacare is 58 times harder to get into than Harvard.
• I had no idea Obamacare was gonna be this exclusive. Which kinda makes me want in.
• I’ll join anything that won’t have me. Let me in Earth Wind and Fire!

Iran Nuke Negotiations - French Resistance

• Now, our “Neville Chamberlain In Chief” loves surrendering to America’s enemies and this weekend he sent Secretary of State, John Kerry, to wave the white flag at Iran.
• Folks, Iran is a nation of radical Muslims, hell-bent on acquiring nuclear weapons.
• We can’t have nukes in the Mid-East. Someone might bomb Israel and then they’d have to use their nukes.
• Now, fortunately the deal was stopped by our closest ally.

“France was the country to stand up and say ‘no’ to this. They said the deal was too easy on Tehran.”

• Yes, France. The country that put the “we” in “we give up.”
• Of the six nation team negotiating with Iran, only France had the escargots to say “no.” And you know it was a bad deal if France is turning down a six-way.
• And now our President has been out-toughed by the French. That’s like being out-sobered by Toronto mayor, Rob Ford.
• If you watch this show, you know I’ve been tough on France in the past. It’s a miracle they survived the humiliation that was “Freedom Fries.”

Iran Nuke Negotiations - Trita Parsi

Stephen: Sir, you are the author of “A Single Role of the Dice” - why America must get back to the bargaining table with Iran. But why, sir? Haven’t we dodged a bullet by walking away from the power-mad Mullahs who want to bomb Israel and wipe it off the map?
Trita: Actually, what President Obama was doing in these negotiations was a huge favor to Israel. Because if the deal had gone through - if the French had not changed the goalpost in the last minute - there actually would be a closing of the opportunity for Iranians to build a nuclear weapon and that would actually help Israel’s security and many other people’s security and most importantly, America’s security.

Stephen: Ok, now listen. You are Iranian or an American citizen?
Trita: I was born in Iran. I’m actually a Swedish citizen.
Stephen: You’re a Swedish citizen? Well, I don’t trust those bastards, either. Ok? So, you’re born in Iran and you’re not an American citizen.
Trita: I’m a green card holder.
Stephen: Ok, I’ve seen ‘Homeland.’ Spoiler alert - There’s no reason to trust you.
Trita: So, you question loyalty while at the same time you’re praising the French when they’re celebrating a set-back in American foreign policy.
Stephen: No, they’re holding the line against the Mullahs…
Trita: Whose side are you on? France or America’s?
Stephen: Anyone whose flag has red, white and blue on it, my friend.

Shanty Town Glamour Camp

• You know, as a member of the upper-middle-stinking-rich I stay in only the world’s finest hotels.
• But at a certain point luxury familiarity breeds rarified contempt. I mean, you’ve seen one swimming cigar humidor, you’ve seen them all.

• But now I’ve discovered an even more exotic hybrid of luxury and roughing it. It’s called Shanty Town; a lodging option available at The Emoya Hotel & Spa in Bloemfontein, South Africa.
• Now you can bring the whole family to stay in an authentic corrugated tin shack, each with it’s own black smoke-spewing barrel fire, beef tallow candle and squatter’s kitchen.
• It’s like a Sandals resort if the sandals were made from an old tire.
• The only problem is South Africa is really far away, folks. I mean, it’s south of Africa.
• That’s why I’m bringing the “glumming” experience home to The States with my new resort, Frigidaire Lodge At Overpass Meadows.

• You’ll stay in a spacious cardboard refrigerator box, fitted out with Japanese satin moving blankets and most of a pair of slippers.
• Enjoy an evening stroll of our abandoned lot, lovingly landscaped with vintage trucker bombs. Just don’t forget to be back in time for the nightly wine and cheese stabbing.
• One look and you’ll know why TripAdvisor said, “Ahhhhh! Raccoons!”

Interview - David Christian

David: What the course does is it teaches you the whole history of time. It gives you a sort of map of time and space like an origin story. And that means you can place yourself in the universe and in the whole of time and space
Stephen: I’ve always assumed that I’m at the center of the universe and that everything is turning around me. I believe that Galileo discovered that.
David: Of course you’re at the center of the universe. And the person who tells the story is at the center of the universe - always. But you need to place yourself in that large map. And if you can place yourself in that large map that gives you a sense of meaning; of where you are, of how you came to be and of what things you can do; what possibilities are available to you.

Stephen: Well, David, what is the meaning of life?
David: The meaning of life … ok, um … here’s the quick version.
Stephen: I kinda do need the quick version.
David: 13.8 billion years ago the universe appears. It’s that small (makes a very small circle with his fingers). Everything in the universe is in that tiny thing. It’s incredibly simple. No humans. No planets. No elements. Then over 13.8 billion years - one by one - new, more complex things appear. Stars appear. Planets appear; living organisms, at least on this planet, and then eventually us, the weirdest organisms of all. So, that’s a wonderful story about how we got to be here.
Stephen: That’s the events of life. That’s not the meaning of life.
David: The meaning is like a map. If you have a map it tells you where you are. If you know where you are, you know where you can go.

Sign Off - “A Single Roll of the Dice”