EPISODE NUMBER: 10021 (November 11, 2013)
GUEST: Peter Baker
SPECIAL GUEST: Sam Waterston
SEGMENTS: “60 Minutes” Benghazi Controversy - Lara Logan’s Apology | “60 Minutes” Benghazi Controversy - Poncho Denews’ Bogus Bombshell | Chris Christie’s Sunday Media Blitz | Sign Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Light Blue Patterned Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, November 11, 2013
We end our this part of the show with a correction. A man named Poncho Denews claimed he was a 60 minutes intern, and we believed him because he had an I.D. lanyard. [...] We checked with our sources at IMDB and realized we had made a mistake. We should not have used him in our report, and for that, we are very sorry. The most important thing to everyone at The Colbert Report is the truth, and the truth is, it’s somebody else’s fault.
The whole Sam Waterston bit was hilarious and brilliant. I liked seeing Stephen against a 60 Minutes mock-up screen; it made him look so distinguished. And by the way, the film The Plastic Dome of Norma Jean actually exists. I actually did look it up, Stephen!
Now that Chris Christie has won the election, I hope he has now finished his victory lap around the Sunday morning talk shows and can get down to governing his state. The website onenewjersey.org has some staggeringly bad statistics about New Jersey’s national ranking in many key areas.
Peter Baker made for a pretty solid interview. I am sure his book is very good and comprehensive about the Bush/Cheney presidency; I just can’t shrug off the sense that we as a nation escaped a truly dark chapter in our history when that administration ended. Talking about and analyzing the Bush presidency feels the same as if you were recalling the symptoms of a really bad case of strep throat. ‘Nough said. I am just glad no one in the current administration has shot anybody in the face (thus far).
How did you feel about Poncho Denews and the other topic choices for this fine ep? Sound off in the comments.
“60 Minutes” Benghazi Controversy - Lara Logan’s Apology
- We at the Report are laser focused on the truth. And that means obsessive fact checking every episode. And if we find a fact, we replace it with the truth.
- When the attacks in Libya occurred, 60 Minutes was on the scene within minutes of 13 months later.
- Fox news has been working this story for a year, having definitely proven that “tragedy something something something Hillary Clinton.”
- Folks, what more is there to say than Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi!
- Yes, another network covered it. That’s how you know Fox News’ reporting is accurate.
- Evidently the guy he hit with the butt of his rifle was a Cabana boy…and God I hope it was his rifle.
“60 Minutes” Benghazi Controversy - Poncho Denews’ Bogus Bombshell
- Folks, I’m not buying this. CBS is good at journalism. There’s only one logical explanation for what really happened here: Hillary Clinton got to them!
- You see, as you folks well know but I will repeat as often as possible, Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State during the Benghazi attacks! I mean, that’ her official photo. Ergo, quid pro quo, amicus brief, she is to blame! And now she’s so hungry for power in 2016 that she’s somehow convinced 60 Minutes to air this false Benghazi apology to discredit their investigation!
Poncho Denews/Charlie Skinner Quotables:
- As journalists we are the gatekeepers of truth. We separate the right from wrong, fact from fiction, delicate from permanent press.
- I recall a man who said ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. This man was Spiderman’s uncle! And now he’s dead.
- The public needs us to be the watch dogs of Democracy. We have a responsibility to criticise our leaders without reproach, report national secrets without fear of imprisonment. If we violate this contract, this public trust, then we will have a puppet press of hearsay, innuendo, speculation, hyperbole and nonsense.
- Ding, dong, Who is it? It’s Domino’s. But more importantly, it’s the truth. Delivered hot and crusty or your money back! That’s the guarantee we make America every night. Otherwise the world is just crazy bread.
Chris Christie’s Sunday Media Blitz
“Yes, he’s just the Governor of New Jersey. That’s why he’s been on [all the shows listed above]. “
- I admire how, despite all the speculation, Christie stays humble about his future, by bragging only about his past.
- Wow, 143,000 jobs times 7 mentions on TV = not running for President.
Chris Christie’s “Not Running for President” Robo-Calls:
Interview- Peter Baker
“This is like Bush saying, “You’re gonna want to deal with me, ok?” This is good cop, (points to Bush), robo-cop (points to Cheney).”
Stephen: Were George Bush and Dick Cheney ever friends?
Peter: They were never friends. I asked Cheney about that and he said they were never buddies.
Stephen: That’s heartbreaking. That’s like finding out Batman and Robin were never gay.
Stephen: Was Bush a good president? Bottom line.
Peter: Definitely top 50.
“I just can’t shrug off the sense that we as a nation escaped a truly dark chapter in our history when that administration ended.” I really liked that, CN Helper.
It was perfectly fitting that Sam Waterston (or Charlie Skinner or Poncho Denews!) was on this episode spoofing the ’60 Minutes’ story, considering that a major plot point of ‘The Newsroom’ involved the reporting of a story that turned out to be false.
Tip of the Hat!
+1
Thanks Clem for your kind words. I think Colbert likes Waterston a lot; he gave Waterston the honor of speaking at the Rally to Restore Sanity, if you recall. And he was also on the Report to perform the hilarious piece “Sam Waterston Says Things You Should Never Believe in a Trustworthy Manner” during the ’08 election.
Tip of the Hat!
+1