EPISODE NUMBER: 10015 (October 30, 2013)
GUEST: Jack Andraka
SEGMENTS: Intro - 10/30/13 | The GOP’s Self-Disapproval | ThreatDown - Divorce, Undocumented Network Jumpers & Global Warming | Shepard Smith’s Digital Dependency | Sign Off - Goodnight
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Light Blue Tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, October 30, 2013
The GOP’s Self-Disapproval
- Just thinking about people on Capitol Hill makes people nauseous. Nausea, by the way, more popular than Congress.
- And Republicans in congress are the most-least popular. One reason is that they disappointed their base by voting to raise the debt ceiling, on the flimsy excuse of avoiding a galactic economic meltdown.
“In short, GOP senators voted on raising the debt ceiling with the stipulation they could vote against having voted for it. Proving that republicans might not be bi-partisan, but they may be bipolar.”
- And these brave 27 statesmen, led by Mitch McConnell, took this brave stand for the noblest of reasons: to get re-elected.
- And I for one can not wait for the campaign ads…so I didn’t. Jim?
“I’m Mitch McConnell, and I approve this message.” “No I don’t!”
ThreatDown - Divorce, Undocumented Network Jumpers & Global Warming
“I’ve always suspected [divorce is contagious.] That’s why I always did ‘Larry King Live’ in a hazmat suit, holding a canary. I was ok but Larry did hit on the canary.
- And I’m not surprised, I’ve never trusted friends of a friend. I mean, I’m my friend’s friend…who are these other people?
“I’ve always said divorce should be illegal. Once a couple starts hanging out with Nancy, who’s got a new lease on life, looks amazing, and is spending Thanksgiving in Turks and Caicos, how can you possibly be satisfied with your spouse, who’s spending thanksgiving with YOU?”
Shepard Smith’s Digital Dependency
- With all these electronics, the Fox News Deck can bring you the story as soon as Shep guesses his neighbor’s wi-fi password.
“Look at Shep’s hand-held bio-degradable info sheet! I mean, flat screens are impressive but that thing is paper thin!”
- Breaking news on the News Deck: Shep Smith, probably a woman between 18-55. A fascinating story, but apparently not to Shep, who’s too busy crushing candy.
- Nice try, news crawl. Get back to Shep when those insurgents attack with fruit or ninjas.
“Hi, I’m Stephen and I’m an addict. There’s a captivating new game that’s sweeping cable news that has taken over my life and impaired my job. It’s called, ‘Shiny or News?'”
“It’s always a tough choice…I’ve gotta touch those diamonds!!!!”
Interview — Jack Andraka
Stephen: So you goofing off like kids do by reading scientific articles. Yes, I know high school freshmen.
Jack: And essentially what happened is that we were learning about these things called antibodies which [are] like a lock and key, they only react with one specific protein. In this case, the protein is found in your bloodstream.
Stephen: (Ironically) Don’t patronize me. I know what you are talking about.
Jack: Essentially I thought I could stick these two things together and make something cool.
***
Stephen: Have you thought about using your powers for evil? Because this is normally the age where super villains make the turn.
Jack: No, right now I am working on open access such that everyone can access these different articles and such that everyone can do scientific research.
Stephen: Do you own this [technology]?
Jack: Yeah, I have the international patent on this technology -
Stephen:So “cha-ching,” right?
Jack: Well, it’s really not about the money for me, it’s about saving as many lives as possible.
(audience cheers wildly)
Stephen: But you’re also a teenager. You’re at an age where you got other things to do when you’re not doing this. Is it hard being somebody who’s come up with something that can detect cancer when you are just a teenager […] it sounds like you spend a lot of time in the lab with adults. Do you spend much time with other teenagers?
Jack:Oh yeah, I’m not like that weird kid who spends all of his time in the lab.
Stephen: (Laughing)I didn’t say anything about weird. A very hopeful and talented kid who spends all his time in the lab. I want to make sure you are having some fun because I got to say, for your social life, that’s a great pick up line. You know, “hey do you have pancreatic cancer? ….would you like to find out?”
Andraka’s cancer screening test for the world’s toughest cancers costs 3 cents per test, using a $50 meter he bought from Home Depot.
Normally Colbert cracks me up. But the joke about Republicans not being bipartisan but instead bipolar wasn’t funny. Not even funny in some dark, edgy kind of way. It was just short of dumb. The GOP, by doing their “backsies” voting on the shutdown, exhibit a lot of asinine behavior. But it’s not bipolar behavior. I know there’s a nice and tempting alliteration with bipolar and bipartisan, but it’s just not accurate. And yet Colbert had hundreds of thousands of people laughing at something, knowing that to call the GOP bipolar is a hot moment for ridicule. I’d like to think that Colbert is a force of good in the world, using his sharp wit and brilliance to keep power in check and actually enlighten people. But this “Joke” just exhibited a pettiness and willingness to perpetuate crude stereotypes, to climb over the backs of 8 million people who already suffer enough from the stigma of the ignorant masses, just to try and nail a joke. Great use of humor involves going after the powerful. Really bad humor usually involves exploiting the defenseless, and the millions of people dealing with mental illnesses are quite weak. Pretty cheap shot.
Tip of the Hat!
+1
One of the things I was taught in my psych classes is that the media tends to overuse and misuse adjectives pertaining to mental health far too often (i.e., calling something “schizophrenic”); I agree that it should not be done, even for comedic purposes. I can understand where you are coming from on that. But Stephen of all people is not one to take the topic of those suffering from mental health issues lightly. I am sure it was not meant to offend.
Tip of the Hat!
+1
Shep Smith’s obsession with Candy Crush is hilarious! I know someone who is completely addicted to that game. I loved Stephen’s “Super Newstendo 3000.” Shiny, spinning diamonds!
The interview with Jack Andraka was very interesting. It is incredible that someone so young is making breakthroughs in cancer research. Go Jack!
Tip of the Hat!
+3
Loved the divorce jabs, and the candy crush addiction analysis. We all kind of predicted the Fox News Deck was all hype, but hilarious to see it all come crashing down with Shep reading from a sad blue sheet of paper.
Wow! What a great interview. Where do these kids come from? There was another teenager who had done some ground breaking cancer research. I guess being confronted with the basics of biology can inspire aspiring scientists to find cures, “unlock” the answers as Andraka referenced.
My Mom passed away from ovarian cancer - so I would very much like to see that early detection going on for everybody. If this patented technology really gets going, it’s no joke that thousands of lives could be saved. That would be a profound blessing.
Tip of the Hat!
+4
I think he should’ve done another ‘Stephen Colbert’s Shame Spiral’ before that 14 year old came out. I definitely wish I had achieved more in high school after watching him.
Tip of the Hat!
+1