August 6, 2013 - StePhest Colbchella ‘013

29 comments

The Colbert Report episode guide EPISODE NUMBER: 9135 (August 6, 2013)
GUESTS: Daft Punk | Robin Thicke
SPECIAL GUESTS: Hugh Laurie | The Rockettes | Jeff Bridges | Jimmy Fallon | Jon Stewart | Charlie Rose | Anna Gunn | Aaron Paul | Vince Gilligan | Bryan Cranston | Matt Damon | Henry Kissinger | Tek Jansen | Mel B | Nick Cannon | Howie Mandel | Heidi Klum | Howard Stern
SEGMENTS: StePhest Colbchella ‘013 - The Song of the Summer of the Century | Special Guest Stephen Colbert! | daft punk’d | Robin Thicke - “Blurred Lines” | Sign Off - Hyundai Executives | Time to Dance
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Red/purple/white stripped tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Daft Punk cancelling turned out to be the greatest thing to happen this summer, and as it turns out, the hardest episode to screen cap. While I work on tonight’s episode guide, please do enjoy Stephen (who knew he could kick so high) and ‘The Rockettes’. Oh, and don’t forget to share your thoughts on tonight’s episode in the comments!!

Stephen Colbert dances with The Rockettes

StePhest Colbchella ‘013 - The Song of the Summer of the Century

Stephen Colbert talks Daft Punk

  • Pepsi, the official drink of ‘We don’t have Coke here, is Pepsi okay?’

StePhest Colbchella ‘013 - Special Guest Stephen Colbert!

  • Here’s the story - it’s a true story. We booked click and clack over here about a month ago. This network is owned by Viacom, which is also the owner of MTV … Apparently, Daft Punk are going to make a surprise appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards … Don’t tell anyone, because fun fact - no-one told me until o’clock yesterday.
  • These Daft Punk guys are French — they’re not really into exclusive relationships. I thought we could have a ‘menage-a-show’ and maybe they could do us both. Although working twice in one month is a little more than the French are used to.

Van Toffler:

“Not sure I can help you with that one.” […] “Checked with my peeps and … they’re feeling funky on this one.”

  • You heard right, folks. His peeps were ‘feeling funky’. And once your peeps get all funked, there’s no un-funking them. I mean, if that funk spreads past the peep level … Soon your bros will be un-stoked. And then what?
  • If Daft Punk were on my show, people wouldn’t tune in to see them on the VMA’s almost a month from now. That’s how music works. You love a band, you see them once, then you never want to see them again. That’s why after The Beatles went on Ed Sullivan, they dropped off the face of the earth.

StePhest Colbchella ‘013 - daft punk’d

  • Welcome back to the ‘Colbchella ‘013: The Song of the Century of the Year of the Summer’ or whatever. I don’t know … ah …Thank you for joining me for the end of my career … I never thought it would end like this.
  • Wait a minute … this is MTV networks. Of course. I’ve been Daft Punk’d! Where is he? Asthon, I know you’re here.

Aston Kutcher Daft Punk'd

    SC: Ashton, Daft Punk not being here … did I get Punk’d?

    AK: No, You got f***’d.

    Hugh Laurie dances with Stephen Colbert

    Stephen Colbert with The Rockettes

    Henry Kissinger with Stephen Colbert

    Stephen Colbert on roller skates

    Matt Damon dances with Stephen Colbert

    StePhest Colbchella ‘013 - Robin Thicke - “Blurred Lines”

    SC: What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I mean, the only thing that can possibly save me now is some global pop sensation, who could perform a mega-hit considered by many to be the song of the summer and who just happened to be in my audience right now.

    RT: Hey, Stephen. I’ll sing for you.

    SC: Oh my God! It’s Robin Thicke! Robin! You’re the guy who dances around with those girls who are all naked in the YouTube videos!

    RT: You know, I actually sign in the video also, Stephen.

    SC: I hadn’t noticed that part, but I’ll take your word for it. Oh, Robin Thicke. Would you sing a song for me?

    RT: Of course, I’m your man. Let’s do it.

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  • Caroline

    I can’t believe Daft Punk chose to cancel at the last minute like that. I’ve lost a lot of respect for them (even if Viacom is probably the main villain here). I think the band made a terrible decision.

    That being said, I’m sure the show ended up being funnier because of what happened. I was laughing out loud while watching most of it. It reminded me of when a young David Letterman would go off on GE or NBC. I *loved* Stephen ripping that Viacom boss a new one.

    Finally, It was cool that Robin Thicke stepped in to perform the real “Song of the Summer.” Great show and kudos to Stephen and the staff for turning a bad situation into one of their best episodes ever!

    • Mr. Arkadin

      Good call on the young Letterman comparison. Remember the GE handshake?

      I also enjoyed Monday night’s photo of Viascum owner Sumner Redstone as Ming the Merciless.

      • llama

        Mr A, wow, that’s a blast from the past. The GE handshake. I do remember that. Letterman in his NBC days was THE BEST!

  • Corrie-luv

    Well, Daft Punk and Viacom boss, in the words of “Get Lucky”, yes, you guys have gone TOO FAR. Leave it to Stephen recruiting some friends to dance with him, and MR. Thicke for covering Colbchella.

  • I actually like “Blurred Lines” better than “Get Lucky” anyway! That really was awful of Daft Punk and the head of MTV. Wow that guy with his “peeps” is a total D-bag! Like anyone is going to care in a month that they are only performing for the VMA’s and nobody else. I never watch the VMA’s, and I don’t even have TV right now, so I can’t exactly boycott but I’ll be silently cursing the show from my living room haha.

    The dancing!!!! Oh the dancing!! I wish we could have seen Jon better, but I know why it’d be difficult to get a good feed. Jeff Bridges was hysterical!!! And Stephen proves he has all the charm in the world to pull off all the things he does with Henry Kissinger!

    One last thing, I loved the coke/pepsi line…. it’s always what I have to settle for if a place doesn’t have my precious. 😉

  • colbaby

    Talk about spinning straw into gold! What an outstanding episode. I was in hysterics throughout the entire thing, kudos to everyone who participated.

    Definitely an instant classic!

  • Katt

    Some of my favourite moments in late night are when things go monumentally tits up, producing some of the best comedy bits ever. Stephen and co. certainly didn’t disappoint, although I am curious to see what they originally had planned.

    I love the thought the wardrobe department put into the dance party with Stephen’s ‘unlucky’ #13 singlet. Though, I’m assuming Stephen’s lack of movement on the roller skates means he doesn’t know how to roller skate? Loved the ‘Malcolm in the Middle’ throw back, and all of the mileage they’re getting out of that booth. What a great investment by the props department. One question though, why is Jon wearing what looks like an oxygen mask around his neck?

    I would love to know the full true story behind this whole fiasco. If Robin Thicke filmed his performance last week, that means Stephen would have already known something given his introduction to the performance.

    • Mr. Arkadin

      Ha! Can we really say “Tits up?” Awesome!

      • lockhart43

        You need to know that I laughed at that for at least a good 30 seconds. And I’m not even going to lie and say I’m not excited about getting to say that, either, ha!

      • Katt

        You’re welcome to say anything on Hugh & Stephens list.

    • applepies

      Katt, I was always wondering what the full story was. We knew the Daft Punk dance montage was in the works for a few days now but maybe he was planning on mixing it in with a live performance?

    • colbaby

      “One question though, why is Jon wearing what looks like an oxygen mask around his neck?”

      Sandstorms maybe?

      • Mr. Arkadin

        I’m thinking the unedited video Jon sent in probably had him pantomime his “I’m an asthmatic old man” schtick and going to his oxygen mask when he mimes wheezing… Maybe?

  • Mr. Arkadin

    Only Stephen could do a dance around an unindicted war criminal and still make me laugh. You’re so talented Stephen! And big ups to all the non war criminals who made this episode so special.

    Our friend and resident hard working Hubster CN Helper, saw Stephen dancing with Olympia Snowe. I wonder why they didn’t use it?

    • Mr. Arkadin — that is my favorite comment! Yes, war criminal.

      But Stephen dancing: that’s heaven. I consider it his gift to me. He doesn’t realize that, but it’s so.

      • Mr. Arkadin

        Thank you very much! The term war criminal is what should appear every time Kissinger shows up anywhere!

  • llama

    As a former and still sometimes Howard Stern fan, I have to say, it was interesting seeing him “on the show”, so to speak. I’ve always wondered what it would be like if he came on or if Stephen was on his show. Anyhoo…I can’t believe that Daft Punk cancelled. They really are punks. Ashton K coming on was great. That video was the best thing ever. It will be watched numerous times in the next, oh, hour or two. 🙂 I can’t imagine how much work went into that video and all the promotion that they did, for them to cancel at 2pm that afternoon. What little respect I had for them is gone. Kudos to Stephen and crew for putting on a great show anyway!

  • StephenSmile64

    Ok, as of current time, I’ve watched the entire episode three times. I expect that number to grow shortly! 🙂 What a brilliant show and the best way to stick it to MTV and everyone else involved in this! A lot of effort was clearly put into that video, so I’m so glad they were able to use it, regardless. Honestly, Daft Punk cancelling turned out to be better than if they actually were on! Yes, I feel so bad that Stephen had to endure that extra pressure, but he turned it around with a brilliant takedown of MTV, accompianied with that wonderful video. Looking around the internet today, it’s clear that his video has become a HUGE hit! Last night and today, it was impossible to keep up on Twitter. The amount of “Wow! What a great video!” and retweets of the video itself was extraordinary! Stephen and everyone involved should be very proud.

    And on another note, dancing with Stephen is now on my bucket list. As a dancer, I could really appreciate those fine moves! 🙂

  • Linds

    I’m still recovering from that dance montage…Stephen’s unrestrained enthusiasm is surely a gift to the world. Nice save on his part!

  • I’m with colbaby- instant classic! The dance party was so much fun (bonus: another few minutes of Stephen and Hugh Laurie together!), and so brilliantly done. But good lord I hate that song. That’s what you kids are listening to these days??

    Also: Jon Stewart should never grow a beard because it turns him into an old, old man.

  • lockhart43

    I am still reeling from the pure awesomeness that was this episode. Not only do both “Get Lucky” and “Blurred Lines” make me want to dance when I hear them, they make me want to dance in public and not care who sees it. Stephen and Co. dancing to the song, Matt Damon in the “Matt Damon Booth,” Charlie Rose’s reaction to Stephen crashing the Breaking Bad interview, Robin Thicke’s enthusiasm while playing along with the bit and then while singing the song…everything. Every moment of this episode just makes me so, so happy!

    I showed the dance montage to my mom tonight during the 7 o’clock rerun and she cracked up, then mentioned how maybe they’ll “finally win the Emmy this year” and how Stephen’s “definitely got some balls” for dancing in that bit with absolutely no shame. It’s days like today that I love my mom even more, ha.

  • colbaby

    I need to be in rehab for this video. I can’t stop watching…I…I can’t..

    I heard through the internet grapevine that it was discovered a week or two ago that DP wouldn’t be able to perform due to contractual obligations with the VMAs. Which is why Colbert and company put together the dance montage and taped Robin Thicke’s performance last week. But they were meant to appear on the show, just no live performance. But last minute they cancelled entirely. Don’t know if there’s any truth to this, but it would make sense. However it all went down, the people who edited this episode did a fantabulous job.

  • Actually, that story makes total sense. The dance montage clearly didn’t come together in a day, and we know some parts of it were filmed well in advance. But either way, Stephen turned what could have been an embarrassing situation into comedy gold, which proves yet again how brilliantly creative he is.

    • Oops, that was supposed to be a reply to colbaby’s comment. I am insufficiently caffeinated for doing anything competent this early in the morning.

  • Katt

    An ‘insider’ has posted more details about the situation on reddit.

    The LA Times make a good point:

    “Why Colbert didn’t snag a couple of his show’s crew members, hustle them into motorcycle helmets and natty black suits and proceed with the interview is anybody’s guess.”

  • karenatasha

    By the way, that gif makes me so happy…

  • Mrc

    Leave it to Stephen to turn a fail into a win. That music video was one of the best things I’ve ever seen, and I think I watched it 6 or 7 times already. Simply amazing.

  • Rocketman

    Just a side note (sort of)…wondering what Stephen poured himself just before the dance sequence. Someone can ‘name names’, yes?? Great episode and Stephen does the ‘white guy’ dance perfectly.

    • Clem

      I believe that it was Eagle Rare Bourbon. (Quite an appropriate drink for Mr. Stephen Colbert! EAGLE!)