EPISODE NUMBER: 9130 (July 29, 2013)
GUESTS: The Lumineers
SEGMENTS: Intro - 7/29/13 | Obamacare Cards | Tip/Wag - Steve Stockman, David Cameron & North Carolina Legislature | The Lumineers - “Stubborn Love” | Sign Off - Tambourine
EXCLUSIVE: The Lumineers - “Submarines”
SUIT REPORT: Gray suit | White shirt | Black & Purple Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, July 29, 2013
You’ve got to love these impromptu music intros that Stephen has been doing lately on the web exclusives. I hope he keeps them up, they are so hilarious. And seem kind of cathartic for the ever-precise Stephen. Let us know what you think of this great ep as I build the guide.
“Hi. It’s for the web, so it doesn’t matter, really. I don’t have to be good, THEY have to be good. Everybody knows, I’ve cashed my check for tonight’s show. (long pause) So…f*ck it. “
“That’s not right, you deserve a better intro than that, their music is beautiful they’re wonderful. You know them, you see, they’re called The Lumineers [….] great musicians, not great at inventive titles. They get one thing, and they just drive it home, it seems to be working for them. Ladies and gentlemen, The Lumineers!
Obamacare Cards
“Well don’t fall for it, young people! You don’t need insurance! You’re gonna be young and healthy forever! I mean, just look at me. I’m 19! Look at this awesome skateboard move … That’s called poppin’ a YOLO.”
- That’s right, younglings. Protest this government overreach by lighting your insurance card on fire. But be careful, because if you burn yourself, you don’t have health insurance.
- There is only one small problem with this burn-your-Obamacare-card plan. There are “no such things as Obamacare cards.”
“Freedomworks is opening up a whole new world of fighting symbols of injustice that don’t exist. You know what, they should ride a bus, order themselves to sit at the back of the bus, then refuse to sit at the back of their own bus!! Fight the power!”
“Yeah, people forget that about the Vietnam War. Those hippies were just fiscal conservatives protesting a Big Government program. I don’t want to see a whole generation forced to fight infection in some nearby county hospital, only to come home in one piece with something to live for!!”
- If these young people truly want to resist Obamacare, they need to do what Vietnam protesters did in the 60s and move to Canada. Bonus, I hear they have a great health care system up there that doesn’t cost that much.
Tip/Wag - Steve Stockman, David Cameron & North Carolina Legislature
- Yes, now it will be impossible for British youth to see pornography unless they can somehow gain access to page three of ‘The Sun’. But British internet users who want their meat and two veg can still see it … because users will be able to opt - out of the setting by request. That’s right. You English can enjoy your Brit - erotica. All you have to do is ask for it:
- Oliver: Please sir, can I have some porn? I want some [porn.]
- That’s right. Now you can bring guns to playgrounds. And folks, we need them because the monkey bars are well known Al-Qaeda training grounds. Plus, guns will make the whole playground experience much more fun. Instead of duck, duck, goose, you can just play duck, duck, DUCK!
“Now you can bring guns to playgrounds. Folks, we need them, because the monkey bars are well known Al-Qaeda training grounds. “
Burning ObamaCare Cards - stay crazy, kids!
North Carolina - stay crazy, you bbq weirdos.
I’m hanging out for video of Stephen’s surprise appearance on Jimmy Fallon last night. A bit of a dance, and
then he was gone. Woe!
Tip of the Hat!
+7
It will probably be up on YouTube soon, but I couldn’t wait. Here is last night’s episode of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Stephen comes in at 7:20. Prepare for awesome overload!
http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/monday-july-29-2013/n39438/
Tip of the Hat!
+7
I love a purple tie!
Tip of the Hat!
+4
Make sure to watch the web exclusive Lumineers song! Stephen is completely off the cuff in his introduction and it’s absolutely a delight to watch hehe.
Tip of the Hat!
+2
Not only is the intro great, but you get to hear him say f*** without it being bleeped out
Tip of the Hat!
+3
I wasn’t expecting to like ‘The Lumineers’ given how much I can’t stand hearing ‘Ho Hey’, but I really enjoyed the songs they played. The one thing that did annoy me was the lead singer, his mic stand was way too high, it was like watching a giraffe trying to eat leaves off the top of a tree.
I really loved the playground animation, reminded me of something you’d expect to see in an episode of ‘South Park’.
Tip of the Hat!
+2
That is great! I yelled the same thing…”Look it’s SOUTH PARK!”
Tip of the Hat!
+2