EPISODE NUMBER: 9126 (July 22, 2013)
GUEST: Kjerstin Gruys
SEGMENTS: Britain’s Royal Baby | Geraldo Rivera’s Tribute to Helen Thomas | Minimum Wage & McDonald’s Spending Journal | Neil deGrasse Tyson’s Alien Theory
SUIT REPORT: Grey Suit | White Shirt | Black and Purple Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Monday, July 22, 2013

Britain’s Royal Baby

Thoughts:
It’s a boy. Can we get back to our lives now?

Quotables:
“No word on the baby’s name. I’m sure they’ll have some sort of web contest to name the baby. I want Stephen Colbince the Prince.”
“Tomorrow, we’ll have full team coverage..hold on (grabs pen to write on script) get…team”

Geraldo Rivera’s Tribute to Helen Thomas

Geraldo Rivera posted a twitpic of himself nude, although it seemed as if he had a towel around him. It was supposed to be a tribute to Helen Thomas.

Thoughts:
How the hell is that a tribute to Helen Thomas? Is he okay? Should we send help?
Geraldo tweeted that “70 is the new 50″ and Stephen is 49.

Minimum Wage & McDonald’s Spending Journal

Thoughts:
When I saw this I laughed and laughed. I have one job and my income is kinda close to the total monthly income they have listed for McD’s employees working two full time jobs or close to 70-75 hrs a week so I looked at all the expenses and laughed some more.
I think they need to hire someone to budget for McDonald’s who would’ve realized that they could’ve cut the money from the budget for this website and those videos and given it to their vastly underpaid employees.

Quotables:
“If you’re poor, it’s your fault. But then again I’m not poor and if I were, I wouldn’t be. Because I would turn being poor into an ‘op-poor-tunity’”

Neil deGrasse Tyson’s Alien Theory

Neil has said what many have said before, there is no intelligent life on Earth. Perhaps aliens have come to visit and just kept on their journey.

Thoughts:
Once I could tell that Stephen’s “best friend” was a piece of spaghetti, it reminded me of this:

Student: Isn’t it true that Darwin preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extraordinary means, it actually began to move with voluntary motion?

Dr. Frankenstein: (fronk-en-steen) Are you speaking of the worm, or the spaghetti?

Student: Why the worm of course.

Dr. Fronk-en-steen: Yes, I did read something of that incident when I was a student, but you have to remember that a worm… with very few exceptions… is not a human being.

Okay, what movie? Maybe Beatrice will come alive someday!>
Neil said that like the aliens think of us, we don’t think highly of worms. We would just step on them.
Stephen suggests that maybe aliens look like worms.

“…on their way to the UN, they see you and say, that’s astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson. As a gesture of peace, they spell out the symbol for Hydrogen on the sidewalk. ‘Hey, he’s coming toward us, clearly to learn the secrets of the univer…AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!’”

Stephen brings out Beatrice, the “worm”.

Quotables:

“Maybe the alien’s aren’t interested in us for our minds, Neil. Maybe they like us for our bodies. May I remind you, they’re not sticking the probes in the noodle, they’re sticking them in the caboodle. That’s why they’re called ass-tronouts, not brain-stronouts.”

“This is Beatrice, I met her a few weeks ago in my kitchen. Since then we’ve had some wonderful conversations. She’s a great listener. In fact, I would say she is my closest friend. I love you Beatrice the Worm.”

Jimmy, once again, had to burst Stephen’s bubble and tell him it was just a piece of Spaghetti.

Interview - Kjerstin Gruys

Thoughts:
I know that I could go without looking in the mirror, except for brushing my hair in the morning. I need to know that it’s right. Other than that I don’t really look in the mirror a lot and it’s gotten me in trouble.

Stephen: Could you even look down at yourself, or did you have to wear one of those dog collars?
Kjerstin: I did look down at myself, to see if I had cat hair on me.

That’s what I was thinking too. When I look down at myself, I look good, but when I look in the mirror, I don’t. By not looking in the mirror a lot, I ended up thinking that I looked okay, when in fact, I had been gaining a lot of weight so I don’t know if I am on board with this, but I give her props for getting married without looking at herself. That must be tough.

Kjerstin: Everyone is beautiful in their own way.
Stephen: Okay, no.

They brought back the picture of nude Geraldo and Kjerstin pointed out he is wearing rose colored glasses in it. Good observation. Geraldo looks at himself, a lot, I’m thinking.