July 16, 2013 — David Karp

The Colbert Report episode guide EPISODE NUMBER: 9123 (July 16, 2013)
GUESTS: David Karp
SEGMENTS: Royal Baby Bump | Tip/Wag - Non-Rioting Black People & Fox News | NPR on Multitasking | Sign Off - MacBox
SUIT REPORT: Gray suit | Light blue shirt | Navy patterned tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The road of multi-tasking starts with good intentions and ends with you trying to type into a pizza box.

Episode Round-Up

Are Americans really riveted by the Kate baby thing, or is it more a media frenzy just for schnucks? I have spoken to exactly zero people (at least American people) about the impending baby.

As you can imagine with working on this site, I can be particularly guilty of multi-tasking. Right now I am dashing off these thoughts as I am running around the house getting ready for work. Multi-tasking is pretty bad, but you do what ya gotta. So, for a variety of reasons I particularly hearted that segment. Though every time a pizza guy is around Colbert I think of this. Let’s just say the man has had some pretty adventurous times with pizza.

Unfortunately for right-wing commentators, the Martin verdict reaction did not descend into rioting and mayhem, making for a great Tip/Wag. The interview with David Karp gave Stephen an opportunity to ask Karp some pretty hard-hitting questions about his stance on offering the NSA access to Tumblr and policing the blogging platform in general.

What did you think of the ep, Hubsters? Put down the laptop and type your opinions in the pizza (commenting) box below.

Royal Baby Bump

“Kate the Great is 3 days late. I just can’t wait for her to dilate! “

Source: beeishappy

Tip/Wag - Non-Rioting Black People & Fox News

“Can you imagine feeling like you’re being followed? Everyone just assuming you’re a criminal? If I were him, I’d wear something to hide my face.”

“Elizabeth Hasslebeck from The View will be replacing Gretchen Carlson on Fox & Friends, or as the brown-haired guy who’s not Steve Doocey puts it, ‘Are you my new mommy?'”

Build-a-blonde: “I’m being told we have footage of the Fox rescheduling in progress.”

NPR on Multitasking

“I can’t wait to see what I am going to say next.” (silence) “Huh. Not much going on right now. Anyway, I’ll get back to this later, somebody tivo this,ok?”

“Oh, sorry! This crooked frame was driving me nuts. Anyway..where was I? Oh yeah, the show.”

“You ordered delivery?” “Oh, my pants are here already! Thanks, Chino.” “My name’s Phil.” “I’m sorry, I’m just a little frazzled. Here’s your tip-” (hands over his laptop)

Interview - David Karp

Stephen: Yahoo is not the hippest outfit. Did they buy you to buy your cool?
David: I hope not … I know Yahoo is looking for a path forward. They’re looking at the future of their business and building stuff that is relevant to hundreds of millions of people years from now.
Sstephen: But Tumblr is cool right?
David: I’d like to believe that we’re authentic, we’re doing something that is important to us and we’re serving a community.
Stephen: Why won’t you use the word “cool”? Is it because you didn’t go to high school and don’t what cool is?

Stephen: Let’s talk about the elephant in the room with Tumblr. Let me paint a picture of the elephant. It’s on its back and its legs are spread. [Tumblr] is porn central.[…] Is that going to stay on there?
David: Look, we’ve taken a pretty hard line on freedom of speech, supporting our users, creation, whatever that looks like. It’s not something we want to police.

Stephen: You’re a big-time player in the internet now with the Yahoo. The NSA comes to you, and says “Hey, give me all the information on your people, we think one of those guys posting photos of nip slips of Lady Gaga is planning some bad stuff, we have to have all the information on your site,” what do you say?
David: Ooh. That’s a complicated question, Stephen, you’re putting me on the spot. […] We don’t want to give you anything that is not in the best interest of our users.

Stephen: “Just tell us what Stephen Colbert posts on his site.”
David: I don’t know how to find you.
Stephen: (laughing) And you never will.

Source: beeishappy

Sign-Off - MacBox

  • Clem

    Typing here from my pizza box — I am glad that I’m not the only one who thought that the pizza guy was about to lead into something naughty! Good call, CN Helper!

    I liked the Tip/Wag and the excellent point Stephen made about how hypocritical George Zimmerman’s brother was in his statements.

    I can’t find any Americans riveted by the royal baby, either! That segment was too funny. I nearly died when Stephen put his feet up on the desk!

  • Caroline

    Fun show. Now I am wondering if Stephen really does have some sort of Tumblr account and where is it?

    • http://gravatar.com/marleygirl84 marleygirl84

      He sure sounded sincere! I imagine him having a completely secret online identity for things like tumblr and reddit. Gosh, what does he do on there? The mind reels….. Maybe he’s even one of US! Dun Dun Dun! hehe

      • Clem

        Gasp! You have blown my mind. I am currently reeling! As Stephen would emphatically state, “OH MY GOD!”

  • Katt

    I loved the royal baby segment!! I didn’t think I could laugh any harder after “Kate the Great is 3 days late. I just can’t wait for her to dilate!”, but then he goes and puts his legs up on the desk!!

    I didn’t really care for David Karp, he seems like a bit of a douche. And now I will be endlessly curious about whether or not Stephen has a tumblr account.