June 19, 2013 — The Postal Service

The Colbert Report episode guide EPISODE NUMBER: 9116 (June 19, 2013)
GUESTS: The Postal Service
SEGMENTS: Remembering Lorna Colbert | Cap ‘n Crunch Scandal | Tip/Wag - Wall Street & North Carolina | The Postal Service - “Such Great Heights” | Sign Off - Stage Fall
EXCLUSIVE: The Postal Service - “A Tattered Line of String”
SUIT REPORT: Navy Suit | White Shirt | Light blue tie with navy stripes
VIDEOS: Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I’ve been away from the Report for a week because a week ago today, my mother, Lorna Tuck Colbert, died, and I want to thank everybody who offered their thoughts and prayers. Now if you watch this show, and you like this show, that’s because of everyone who works here, and I am lucky to be one of them. But when you watch this show, if you also like me, that’s because of my mom. So to start the show again I would like to tell you a little bit about her.

She was born just a little ways from here in Larchmont, New York on Chatsworth Avenue in 1920, the same week women first got the right to vote. She spent her summers in the Adirondacks with her older sister Colleen and her younger brother Ed, who called her “Snodgrass.”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
She met my father James at age 12 at cotillion and she liked him, but she didn’t want him to know how much, so she would make her friends ride their bikes all the way across town, just to pass by his house, but then she would never look to see if he was in the front yard, which of course, drove her friends crazy, and evidently, she also drove my father crazy, because they were married and promptly had eleven children.

She made a very loving home for us. No fights between siblings could end without hugs and kisses, though hugs never needed a reason in her house. Singing and dancing were encouraged, except at the dinner table. She had trained to be an actress when she was younger, so she would teach us how to do stage falls by pretending to faint on the kitchen floor. She was fun.

She knew more than her share of tragedy, losing her brother, and her husband, and three of her sons. But her love of her family and her faith in God somehow gave her the strength to not only go on, but to love life without bitterness, and to instill in all of us a gratitude for every day we have together. And I know it may sound greedy to want more days with a person who lived so long, but the fact that my mother was 92 does not diminish but only magnifies the enormity of the room whose door has quietly shut.

In her last days, my mother occasionally became confused. To try and ground her, we tried to ask simple questions, like “What’s your favorite color?” “What’s your favorite song?” And she couldn’t answer these. But when asked what her favorite prayer was, she immediately recited a child’s prayer she learned in German that she used to say to my eldest brothers and sisters at bedtime when they were living in Munich in the late 1940s. Her favorite memory of prayer was that of a young mother tucking in her children.

We were the light of her life and she let us know it until the end. And that’s it. Thank you for listening. Now we can get to the truly important work of television broadcasting, which is what she would want me to do. When I was leaving her last week, I leaned over and I said, “Mom, I am going back to New York to do the show.” And she said, “I can’t wait to see it, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” So, with that in mind. (Exhales) (gets in character) this is The Colbert Report!

What a beautiful tribute from Stephen to his Mom. I don’t think a mother could ask for a more heartwarming testimony from one of her children, and I am sure he articulated to the world what his entire family would wish to say about her. At the end, you could literally see Stephen push himself away from what was a profoundly sad week of grief and back into the character and to the show. That in itself is very courageous, and a great example of his mom’s influence working through him. Although we are sad for him, it is comforting to see him back in the studio. And it will take time before things get to feel normal again, but it will happen eventually.

Kind of glad to see The Postal Service come on in and do a nice musical performance for us, whilst regaling us with tales of recording music in the old-fangled early 2000s. Also liked when the Toys ‘r Us commercial came up and Jenny Lewis looked as though she wished the floor to swallow her up.

Share your thoughts of this very special episode in the comments.

Cap ‘n Crunch Scandal

“That’s right! It turns out all this time this Cap ‘n was actually a Command’r.”

Tip/Wag - Wall Street & North Carolina

“The [first real estate bubble] Wall Street investors pumped money into the real estate market, causing a massive bubble that led to an economic crisis. THIS time, Wall Street investors are pumping money in the real estate maker causing a massive bubble that will lead to PROSPERITY.”

Interview - The Postal Service
Stephen asks the group if they will issue another album. It’s looking like a “no”:

“Such Great Heights”

Sign Off

Stephen pays his mother one more homage before closing the episode. This references her love of stage pratfalls, which she taught her children.

  • Vikki Gavre

    Welcome back!! Our thoughts and prayers are with you!!

  • Susana Contreras

    I couldn’t stop crying while he shared his thoughts about his mother. Even reading it over I can’t help but get emotional. Definitely praying for Stephen and his family.

  • bleu

    That was so hard to listen to. I can’t imagine the strength it took for Stephen to say it. I just wanted to hug him.

  • Clem

    That must have taken a profound amount of courage for Stephen. I have so much respect for him. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things in life. His mother was an incredible person. Much love to the Colbert Family. I loved Stephen’s fall at the end! His mother would have been proud!

  • Ammie2384

    What a beautiful and heartfelt eulogy Stephen gave for his mom. I had tears in my eyes the whole time, but the part that really touched me the most, was at the end. When he mention that her children were the light of her life. I just couldn’t hold them back anymore. She sounded like she was an incredible person.

    It still amazes me though, how Stephen was able to go from giving that great eulogy and start making ridicules jokes about Captain Crunch not being a real captain. I was laughing so hard at that joke.

    • CN Helper

      @Vikki Gavre: @Susana Contreras: @bleu: @Clem: @Ammie2384: Thank you all for your comments, and welcome to our new commenters! I like what Ammie said: “It still amazes me though, how Stephen was able to go from giving that great eulogy and start making ridicules jokes about Captain Crunch not being a real captain.”

  • Erika

    That was just so beautiful. I loved that he told everyone about his mom and I what he said about her living to 92 still not being enough time. I have a beloved 93 year old grandmother and I’ve had people tell me that when she dies, it won’t be that sad because she lived so long. It’s still heartbreaking, because you always want one more day. I think the faint at the end was also perfect. She gave him the bug for performing long before this. Oh and of course, in lovely Stephen fashion, he even worked in a compliment to his crew.

    I think they started with an extra silly story to give Stephen an easy time of it after that emotional beginning. It gave the crowd a chance to really laugh too, which always makes him feel good. Ben Gibbard seemed much more willing to talk to Colbert this time around. I guess second time is the charm! The Toys R Us commercial was adorable! 🙂

  • Warsucks

    I really cannot wait to see last night show. From what I read and the images here posted, it was a splendid opening homage to Stephen’s mom, Lorna, who will forever watch her beloved son from the sky <3
    Thank you for sharing.

  • Mrc

    Thanks for the transcript.
    It was a beautiful and heartwarming tribute. And I love fake fainting at the end.

  • SJ

    I watch the Report every night with a writer brain (I write comedy) and a fan heart.

    My writer brain wondered yesterday how he could possibly address this in a significant way. He’s in such a difficult position with his character. How could he signal to casual viewers that he’s being authentic, and how could people’s ideas of who his character is not contaminate an emotional moment? Would he even address it at all? Do something pre taped without an audience? He’s not Craig Ferguson talking about his dad’s death, or Jimmy Kimmel talking about losing Uncle Frank.

    My fan heart of course ached for him when I saw it, and I echo what everyone has already said here. For me, it was perfect, and could not have been a more beautiful tribute.

    My writer brain still wondered how it would be received. But clearly, I underestimated the general public’s ability to see who Stephen is underneath. The response I’ve seen online proved all my worries moot. Between Twitter @ replies to him, the show’s Facebook page, and even Reddit comments… there’s no question that *everyone* gets it, and gets HIM. I’m sure this is something he already knew, but I hope the love he’s receiving pleases him as much as it pleases my ridiculous little fan heart.

    One small thing to conclude my ramble: In a NY Times interview he did in 2005, he talked about being silly with his kids. “We fall down for each other. We do pratfalls,” he said. It’s long been one of my favourite insights (adorable), but feels much more significant now.

    • CN Helper

      @SJ: So awesome that you are a comedy writer! I am greatly fond of people who have the gift of being able to make others laugh. I am glad, if anything, that last night’s tribute not only made Stephen feel better about getting back to the show, but also demonstrated to the “casual viewers,” as you call them, what a absolutely stellar guy he is. Of course we here have always known that, but if it makes him more 3-dimensional to the world, it can only be good.

  • Sophie

    The first couple of minutes of the show cemented my already undying love for this man. The eulogy was so touching and could you practically see the love and admiration he had (has) for his mother pouring out of him, it was absolutely beautiful and I’ve never been more proud to be a member of the Colbert nation. Mama Colbert raised a truly outstanding person, may she rest in peace.

  • StephenSmile64

    I watched the show last night and had the opportunity to re-watch the segment this morning before I went off to my internship. I must say, I’ve been thinking about it all day. The raw, deep emotion that was clearly present was so palpable. I could not help but cry when I heard him speak about the love he has for his mother…and the loss he now feels. And seeing him choke up numerous times left me feeling so sad for him. But I am so glad that Stephen let us see this, for I do believe the entire Colbert Nation gave him one giant hug! The final pratfall was also perfection. He tributed his wonderful mother in the best way possible and all I can hope is that he and the rest of the Colbert family find peace during this difficult time.

  • colbaby

    Like bleu said, that took an incredible amount of strength to say without falling to pieces. I sure as hell didn’t keep it together, and I was only listening. But with everything she went through, Lorna ColberT was clearly an exceptionally strong woman, so it’s no wonder her baby boy displays the same fortitude. That’s a real class act she raised there. My heart aches for him right now but I know he’ll be fine.

  • Mr. Arkadin

    Stephen’s eulogy to his mother was exquisitely written and delivered. It was hard seeing him in so much pain. But for him to soldier on in the face of such a great loss made me admire him even more as a human being. And I didn’t think that was possible!

    Bless you and your family, Stephen Colbert.

  • Elanor

    It takes so much courage to love so fiercely knowing loss so intimately. He shows us the way and she showed him the way. We are in their debt.

  • dentry

    What a beautiful and heartwarming tribute Stephen gave for to his mother last night. His mom would of been so proud of his fake fainting at the end. God Bless you and your family, Stephen.

  • W&M_NU

    “…only magnifies the enormity of the room whose door has quietly shut.” Eloquent words from a loving son. It’s all too rare to see genuine emotion, especially on television, so a tip of my hat to the wonderful and very brave Mr. Colbert. It must have been so difficult to have kept it together during that eulogy — I couldn’t. My heart breaks for him and his family. I hope they find comfort in the love they share.

  • Anais0509

    This was such a beautiful and perfect tribute to his mother. Having no TV, I watched it today while at work, and I had to fight back tears. It takes so much courage to open up about something like this on television, and I think Stephen did a wonderful job. I think this is the most vulnerable and real he’s ever been on the show, and his pain and grief at times was so palpable that all I wanted to do was reach through the computer screen and give him a great big hug. Seeing his humanity in such a fragile state was difficult for me to witness. :'( I can only hope that he knows that his beloved Colbert Nation is here to raise him up, and that he can take comfort in knowing that he was blessed with a wonderful mother who made him the person he is today, and that her memory will be forever cherished and looked upon with awe and respect.

  • llama

    I watched it this morning and only now can I think about it without crying a little. It made me think of my mother who died over a decade ago. It made me wish for that one more day that we all want with our loved ones who have died. It’s such comfort knowing that her eight surviving children and their families will keep her memory alive for decades to come.

    • CN Helper

      @llama: When someone loses their mom, I have absolutely nothing but the utmost sympathy. I think losing a mother is one of the hardest losses one can experience. You do feel like you lose your compass. I lost my mom as a college student due to cancer, and every day I miss her. But as time passes, you learn to adapt to that feeling of loss. You carry on and try to be the person that she would be proud of. Her example motivates you, and always stays with you.

  • lockhart43

    It’s taken me til now to finally sit down and watch this episode, because I wanted to be able to give it my full and proper attention. While crying through the entire opening, I was so proud of Stephen, for expressing his love for his mother so beautifully and showcasing how wonderful he knew her to be. And then, with all of that grief, he turned on the character and started the show. I don’t know how he was able to do that, but for him to be visibly in pain and create joy and laughter and gratefulness throughout the rest of the show was something so powerful and awe-inspiring. And bless him and the writers for those absolutely ridiculous jokes about Cap’n Crunch - I loved every one of them.

    It seemed fitting to have a musical guest for this episode, and The Postal Service was a great choice. Dare I say, they delivered? (HA! Thank you! I’ll see myself out.) I love that song (the cover by Iron and Wine is wonderful too, for anyone that hasn’t heard it), and it, along with Stephen’s pratfall, were a perfect way to end the episode. I have a feeling Stephen’s mother will never stop being proud.

    • Mr. Arkadin

      @lockhart43: Lockhart43! You’re still around! Yay you! I’m so happy to see you, I even absolve you of the crime that is your “delivered” pun. Now you don’t have to show yourself out. You can stay!
      You’re welcome! 😉

      • lockhart43

        @Mr. Arkadin: Hey pal! You know I can’t resist a good pun, so it’s nice to know I can still stay regardless. Every time I say “Hey guys, I’m back!” I disappear again. I promise you I’m still here, even when there’s no comment-proof. 🙂