Tonight, scandal at PBS. Did someone at Downton get grabby in the Abbey?

Boehner out … *Stephen out* … *Mic out*

But folks I gotta say, MC Tangerine Dream is right.

Wait a minute! Who is that squirrel? Is he connected to Acorn?

Finally after weeks of demanding answers, we in Cable News can stop filling 24-hours with wild … riveting … and actually plausible theories of inter-agency conspiracy and just get down to the cold hard facts. So we can end this rampant … and exciting speculation ………. yeah … that’s what I want …

YES!!

Without her testimony we will be left with nothing but our …

Yes. Does she know? And what does she know? And how do we know she knows what she knows? And did Obama know what she knows that she knew? And what about John Sununu? And folks, ultimately is all this just a way to cover the fact that Solyndra sold solar panels to the Consulate in Benghazi, using the AP as a mule to smuggle guns into Mexico as part of Fast and Furious?

Yes, for a $1000 a day, you can skip lines by hiring the disabled. Or just go to The Hall of Presidents and steal FDR.

That’s right losers. Thanks to her little handi-pal that little girl just blew past your sorry asses, so she could be the first to hear the message of unity and understanding.

Sucks to be you!! *flips the bird*

I even swam with dolphins.

And thanks to factory run-off, sexually ambivalent trout.

I guess for $75 you get the PBS’s tote bag, and for $27 million you get PBS’s nut sack.