EPISODE NUMBER: 9094 (April 30, 2013)
GUESTS: Evan Speigel & Bobby Murphy
SEGMENTS: Forced Tank Spending | The Word - Medical Leave | Thought for Food - Spreadable Sharia & Buddy Cup | Sign Off - Snapchat
SUIT REPORT: Silky Grey pinstripe jacket | Snow white dress shirt | Deep rich blue tie with black stripes
VIDEOS: Tuesday, April 30th, 2013
“Tonight, a new solution for our immigration crisis. Move America below Mexico so they’ll all run into Canada. Then, innovation in beer. Get ready for Bud Light without lime, and my guests tonight are the makers of the new photo-messaging app, Snapchat. It’s going to revolutionize the way I send myself, selfies. A new study says fish use sign language. Maybe now I can figure out what all that flopping around on the bottom of my boat means. This is the Colbert Report.”
Forced Tank Spending
The government is spending millions of dollars to make tanks that the Pentagon doesn’t want. The two senators from Ohio want them because they are made in Ohio really concerned about defense.
The Word - Medical Leave
Undocumented workers were deported back to Mexico when they were sick and unconscious in a hospital in Iowa, without any government involvement.
“They got sent to the Intensive we don’t care unit”
Stephen wants to get a free trip.
“I wish someone would unfairly target me with a free ride on a private jet. That’s the high life.”Another thing that’s been happening is called patient dumping where psych patients are given a one way ticket on a bus to a city like San Francisco, Los Angeles or San Diego. Stephen has a fix for that. Don’t let them off the bus.
“We’ll have a nationwide rotating caravan of buses filled with the mentally ill.”
Thought for Food - Spreadable Sharia & Buddy Cup
“They say you are what you eat, so I guess that makes me constantly”
Demand for hummus has skyrocketed. Instead of creeping sharia, we now have “spreadable sharia”.
“It’s come over our southern border, in league with ‘Al Pita’ to steal American snack jobs once held by onion dip and your finger.”
Budweiser has created a Beer cup that lets you instantly share your facebook profile with total strangers you meet in bars. That’s a keeper!
“That’s right. The Buddy Cup. Or as it will soon be known in bars everywhere, the Stalker Stein.”
They have created Snapchat which takes a photo that you can send to someone you’re communicating with online, but then the photo disappears within ten seconds.
As with a lot of the technology that’s out these days, I found myself thinking, why is this necessary? They say that the photos disappear to keep the communication natural. Why would you include photos that disappear if you want to keep communication natural?
As Stephen points out, what are you so ashamed of that you would want it gone in ten seconds? Before the internet existed, photos didn’t disappear, I just don’t get this one.
I think Stephen is right, it’s pretty much good for sexting. Therefore, I guess it’ll be pretty popular.
Stephen: Have you guys made a profit yet? or does that disappear after ten seconds too?
So then they took a snapchat and sent it to Stephen’s phone. No they weren’t looking at a recent sext.
I got a screen cap. This one won’t go away.
Sign Off - Snapchat
Stephen takes a Snapchat photo that then disappeared.
Weighing in briefly before bedtime to say . . . wow. Wow. Wow. That WORD was massively brilliant. Emmy-winning stuff if the people who gave Emmys only had a brain with a dash of good taste. All around, this was an amazing show, but the WORD was just unbeatable. *Champagne toast to Stephen, plus an extra Dark and Stormy for him*
And a toast to Jon, as well. Fantastic material from him, too.
Tip of the Hat!
+4
The Word was really good, and we got 2 in a row! I was just thinking why do we go for weeks without one, and then get a whole bunch at once? Oh well, not complaining about that though.
Don’t throw tomatoes at me or anything like that, Hubsters, but the issue with the illegal immigrants and the Iowa hospital is simply the consequence of our for profit healthcare system in this country. If you are running a hospital and you have 2 patients with no insurance and no legal status in the ICU racking up hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical expenses, which will all have to be written off at the hospital’s expense. I can understand why they would act as they did, if strictly from a business perspective. If we had a single payer system, we wouldn’t have these terrible kinds of situations.
As far as the sending off psychiatric patients on a greyhound bus thing goes, I was reminded of the guy who asked a question at the CGI session with Clinton/Colbert. We have a serious problem with addressing and treating mental illness in this country, and dumping psychiatric patients off at the greyhound station just shows on low on the totem poll the treatment and funding for people with mental disorders is.
Tip of the Hat!
+2
@CN Helper: I totally agree with you about the hospital’s dilemma. I’m sure they probably get so many people without insurance and what can they do? It’s not their fault. I do wonder if they looked for any other options first, hopefully it was a last resort. The idea of patient dumping is horrible.
Tip of the Hat!
+1