EPISODE NUMBER: 9083 (April 9, 2013)
GUESTS: Charlie LeDuff | Bill Clinton | Chelsea Clinton
SEGMENTS: Prez Billy Jeff Clinton | Clinton Global Initiative University Exchange Fair | Exxon’s Disaster Relief | Sign Off - Potato Clock
SUIT REPORT: Navy Suit | White Shirt | Red patterned tie
VIDEOS: Tuesday, April 9, 2013
A beautiful episode which featured a great field piece with Stephen and the CGI U participants. The serious manner in which the students responded to Stephen’s antics reminded me of the good ol’ TDS days, before TDS went big time and everyone knew to be on the lookout for the correspondents (especially Stephen.) Particularly the gentleman with the football helmets, who might of kept answering Stephen’s same question indefinitely. Seeing the Prez’s expression to the “Mentolcano” (my trademark) was pretty priceless. Chelsea looks gorgeous as well, nice to see her speaking off the cuff a bit.
Did anyone else feel reminded of the Strangers with Candy movie in such a science-fair like atmosphere? *Raise your hands*
The Exxon piece was throughly disturbing. How can the FAA justify imposing a no-fly zone again? Exxon doesn’t want there to images out there of the spill? “So you’re living in a police state…”
Charlie LeDuff was great to have on, despite presenting (more) kind of negative subject matter. I liked the sensitive, emotional end to the interview.
Intro
- Tonight! I return to the Clinton Global Initiative. Spoiler alert: we fix the whole world!
- Then, it’s week 2 of the pipeline spill. Or, as Exxon calls it, “The Great Arkansas Oil Giveaway!”
- And, my guest, author Charlie LeDuff, says we shouldn’t give up on Detroit. Although he seemed awfully eager to come to New York to tell me that.
Prez Billy Jeff Clinton
“I made pre-recorded history when I got the President to join twitter and tweet using the handle @PrezBillyJeff. And just 24 hours later…he has over 88,076 followers. Folks, that is called The Colbert Bump Mr. President! Welcome to the big time, my friend. Next time you are visiting one of your agricultural projects in Uganda, the villagers are going to go, ‘hey, it’s that dude from Colbert!’”
Clinton Global Initiative University Exchange Fair
Stephen: As far as I can tell, the projects that you’ve got these young people creating today are like a science fair, but for noble causes.
Bill: That is a good characterization.
Stephen: My problem with this is the commitment part. Why not just say we are going to do something, and if we do, we do, and if we don’t, our hearts were in the right place.
Bill: Because talk, in the end, is talk. If it triggers a thought, if it triggers an idea, it matters.
- Is there any chance that that’s just a bong?
- (to Chelsea Clinton): I commit to end world hunger, but step 1) make yourself a sandwich. At least you know you took that first step, and then, you’re invited back.
- Here’s what I don’t understand. You guys seem to care. What happened to putting your hands in the air, and waving them like you just don’t care?
- So let me recap here: you are helping “farmers,” in “Columbia,” move their “product” to market in the United States, ok. Would you like me to call the DEA or do you just want to turn yourself in?
CGI Participant: There are about 650 million Indians who defecate outside every day.
Stephen: Is that a hobby? You’ve got like wind power, wave power, solar power, is poop power coming?
CGI Participant: I think it is. We’re hoping to make it the next big thing in India.
Stephen: Okay, where should people be mailing you their poop?
- After witnessing what each individual was doing, I knew that I need to make a world changing commitment of my own.
“If I have one criticism of their projects is that each one only addresses one problem at a time. That’s why I am so proud to introduce our project, this model volcano - and as you can see the model volcano itself is a metaphor, for all the problems in the world. We’re going to address all of these problems with our ideas, because this metaphor has another metaphor inside of it. It’s a 2 liter bottle of diet soda. That represents the plans and the ideas of the initiatives that are going to fix all that stuff, I haven’t worked that stuff out, that’s the easy part. Now, how do I get my ideas out onto these problems, that’s my third metaphor, this mento, symbolizes the funding I will need to make this project a reality.”
- Folks, if you think the volcano was impressive wait until next year my project is solving world hunger by reverse engineering this potato clock.
- Nation, I’ve got to say with all the depressing news about possible war with North Korea and the endless debate over gun violence, I just want to lighten the mood a little and talk about the massive oil spill in Mayflower, Arkansas.
- The historic site where the Mayflower landed. That’s not right. The pilgrims landed at Little Rock, I think. All I know it was definitely Arkansas, because they came over on an ark.
- Now, you might be asking, “Stephen, why haven’t heard anything of the rupture of the Pegasus pipeline that’s spilled 150,000 gallons of tar sand oil? Well, that’s because Exxon has contained the clean up (pauses) coverage buy threatening to have reporters arrested for trespassing, and, at Exxon’s request, the FAA ordered a no fly zone until further notice.
- And everyone is respecting the no fly zone, especially the birds.
- Of course oil is going into the storm drains; they are just putting back into the ground, where it came from. It’s called recycling, duh.
- But environmentalists, don’t get your hemp panties in a bunch. Because Exxon’s disaster relief team has the situation under control.
- Clearly, they are taking the spill seriously, or they wouldn’t have sprung for the quilted. You see, Exxon is employing a time-honored clean up technique pioneered by drunk guys. Just throw some paper towels down on whatever you spilled, and get out of there. Of course, there are other drunk guy options like hiding the spill with a strategically placed coffee table, or better yet, just flip Arkansas over like a couch cushion.
Interview - Charlie LeDuff
- My guest tonight is a reporter who has written the new book Detroit: An American Autopsy. I believe the cause of death was auto-exotic importation.
- In the 1950′s more people [left Detroit] than at any other time, the suburbs started growing. Then the mechanical cotton picker was invented, so everyone in the South on the land came up, we never had to address our racial issues.
- Because the white people were on the outside, and the black people were on the inside.
- It was legal until 1950 in the state of Michigan to bar Jews and Blacks from neighborhoods in the north. They never taught us that.
Stephen: No, I am from the south, we are supposed to be the racists.
Charlie: The point of the book, “an American autopsy” is that you better look at Detroit because that’s what happens when you run out of money. And we’re all scared to death what they’re doing in Washington. We’re printing, we’re spending, we’re not spending, sequestration. Get the money together or the kids don’t have a future!
Charlie: The time for stunts are over. The time for electing people on a name are over. What we got to do is get hip, educate ourselves, and come together and start doing what’s right for the whole … no man is an island, if a child hurts, we are all diminished somehow, you feel me?
Stephen: I do. I feel you right here. (points to heart.)
Charlie: No one listens.
Stephen: No, I am listening.
Charlie: I woke my wife up at 6 AM and said, “babe, I’m angry again, talk me down.”
Stephen: Really? What does she do to talk you down? Because I would love to be talked down, I’m angry all the time. Because you know me, have your ever seen the show? I’m like a nutrient bath of rage. How does your wife talk you down?
Charlie: She says, “it’s going to be okay, baby, go down and make the coffee.”
Stephen: And then go to work.
Charlie: Yeah.
Stephen: Alright, then go to work.
That maniacal grin Stephen had as his gyser died down… classic!
Tip of the Hat!
+7
Loved the interview. I read Charlie’s latest book a few weeks ago and I highly recommend it. The same voice and passion that comes through on the show is also in the book. It will make you furious, but it also could be a glimpse of our country’s future.
By the way, it was interesting to see how far out of character Stephen was during the interview. I think he couldn’t help respond to Charlie’s points.
Tip of the Hat!
+3