September 17, 2012 — Drew Faust
EPISODE NUMBER: 8149 (September 17, 2012)
GUESTS: Drew Faust
SEGMENTS: Values Voter Summit Gaffe | Mitt Romney’s Libya Comments | Atone Phone - Ira Glass Calls
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | Light Blue Shirt | Maroon spotted tie
VIDEOS: Monday, September 17, 2012
As karenatasha already said in the comments, last night Stephen got back in there fierce, addressing all the news that (naturally) blew up while he was off last week. I was curious as to his reaction to the horrible events in Libya, and his criticisms of Romney and the moronic move that inspired the “Muslim rage” were powerful.
Also excited to see the Atone Phone back! Along with some impressive shofar blowing. Stephen even manages to edutain us about the somewhat complex Jewish customs and holidays such Rosh Hashananahah.
Drew Faust actually was quite an impressive guest. Recently the History Channel took a break from its normal schedule of back-to-back Nostradamus programming and had a beautiful program about the Battle of Gettysburg; after watching that I am really trying to learn more about the Civil War, so I thought Ms. Faust’s interview was extremely interesting.
What did you think of the show Hubsters? Sound off in the comments.
But first - who else hearts the fact that Stephen kept the light up sign from this year’s Colbchella? The studio becomes awesome-r by the day.
Intro
- Tonight! Turmoil in the Middle East. How will it affect Mitt Romney’s Arabian horses?
- Then, Happy New Year to my Jewish viewers. And, to my Jewish writers - please come back to work!!
- And my guest Drew Gilpin Faust is the president of Harvard University. Oh, I hope she is coming with a thick envelope. (crosses fingers)
- It’s the one year anniversary of Occupy Wall Street. Remember, one is the “pepper spray anniversary.” This is The Colbert Report!
Values Voter Summit Gaffe
- [The Values Voter Summit] was not exactly a gala affair. For some reason, the group fighting to deny gay people rights has trouble finding a competent party planner.
- …and a nine millimeter firing at a disk of birth control pills.
It is high time the GOP stopped trying to appeal to smart people. And letting Rick Santorum in front of a microphone is a great place to start.
- Do you hear that, Michele Bachmann? Dumb it down.
Epic Fai7: “Nation, it’s about somebody said what we were all not thinking. Just because people know things, doesn’t mean that we should listen to them. Sorry elites, but we’ve given your pro-knowledge, wisdom-pushing policies a chance, and they have failed. “
Nation, it’s about somebody said what we were all not thinking. Just because people know things, doesn’t mean that we should listen to them. Sorry elites, but we’ve given your pro-knowledge, wisdom-pushing policies a chance, and they have failed.
“This is a wake-up call to all Anti-Intellectual Americans. I am not just talking just about the dumb people. I am talking to the droolers, the mouth-breathers, those struggling to finish the maze on a Long John Silvers placemat. “
Mitt Romney’s Libya Comments
- While I was conveniently not on the air, news happened. Oh, and the Free Masons don’t control the world government, right.
- …now our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families, but my rage goes straight at Barack Obama.
- No, that day was not that. Turns out, that night was that.
How dare Obama sympathize with the attackers! He should have stood up against them, like Mitt Romney did, by attacking our president.
- Now it turns out, folks, when Romney attacked him, Obama hadn’t said anything.
- So of course, there came a barrage of attacks from the liberal media cleverly disguised as conservative media.
C’mon, Sarah Palin would be a great foreign policy advisor. To her, all foreign policy is foreign.
- And to all those panty-waisted pundits, who said that presidential politics should end at the water’s edge- and that Mitt’s foreign policy statement was a case of premature inauguration - radio host and Pillsbury dough-dump Rush Limbaugh has an answer.
- As far as Rush and I are concerned, Romney is our president. And that’s the sad reality.
- If President Romney does not defend America now, he will not deserve to have been elected two months later.
- It’s at times like this, it hard to know what to say - which Mitt proved at his press conference on Wednesday.
Damn straight. We must never apologize for our values. In this case, our sacred belief in offending other people’s sacred beliefs.
Stephen reacts to an aired description of the “plot” to the Innocence of Muslims:
Folks, I may not agree with what this film says, but I will fight to the death for its right to say it. Obviously, minus the “I,” “fight,” and “death” part.
- And folks, I have decided not play the film out of sensitivity to me still living.
“Muslim viewers, I have viewed the video on YouTube. It combines the production values of a basement porno, the acting talent of an eighteenth century syphilis sanitarium, and a script transcribed from arguments overheard in a bus station bathroom.”
- It’s not good. But you see, our constitution means we can’t stop people from making movies that are stupid, or grossly offensive. For instance, we made three Transformers. Where were the mobs then? Where were the riots?
- However horrible this movie may be, the American president needs to know when it comes to our values, there can be no apology. I mean Mitt Romney wrote the book on that, in his book, No Apology.
- So to all the conservative media out there who are saying that this foreign policy misstep is a fatal blow to the Romney campaign, let me offer you a ‘No Apology’ condolence card:
Atone Phone - Ira Glass Calls
- (Blowing on shofar) Hmmm. Dead Ram.
“Folks, Rosh Hashanananah is the start of what is known as the Days of Repentance, which ends on the Holy Day of Yom Kippur, which is when the Jewish baby New Year is circumcised by that old moil with the scythe. “
Interview
Drew Faust: “It’s never dumb to get an education.” Stephen: “So you’re prejudiced against dumb people.”
Sign Off
OMFG!!!! It’s commercial one and already Stephen hit hard, hard, hard against Romney and the Repugs, with his always-present sense of humanity and decency. He was brilliant, just brilliant. Much as I loved John Oliver’s piece for TDS, Stephen’s opening more than illustrated why he and his writers so deserved the Emmy. Welcome back, Stephen-oh, you don’t know how much I missed you.
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THE ATONE PHONE!!!!
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CN Helper Reply:
September 18th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
I know! And he was really workin’ that shofar! That’s not a euphemism for anything, is it?
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karenatasha Reply:
September 18th, 2012 at 2:17 PM
No-not at all! The shofar is blown at the end of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. In fact, the holiday isn’t really considered over until it’s blown. At the synagogue I attend, they have a bit of fun with it, and see who can hold the note longest. Stephen’s actually pretty good, so I was surprised he didn’t quite make it work on his first go this time.
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That was Alan Alda narrating the “O, Mrs. Lex” promo, wasn’t it?
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CN Helper Reply:
September 19th, 2012 at 12:25 PM
You think so?
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Ya see, this is why Jon and Stephen are considered better journalists than the real journalists. I’ve been hearing about this story about what Mitt Romney said and how he was wrong about the administration’s response, but I couldn’t get exactly why what he said was so bad. So then Stephen explains it. The Obama administration didn’t say anything, but Romney said they did. NOW I GET IT! Thank You Stephen. Real journalists suck at journalism, I swear.
Also, glad to see that the Atone Phone is back.
Why is Rick Santorum so stupid?
and yes, I know now for a fact that you DO have to be smart to go to Harvard. I see that Ms. Faust kind of avoided that question, but hey, we know. Still she was good though.
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