Colbert News Hub

EPISODE NUMBER: 8130 (July 31, 2012)
GUESTS: Jeff Koons
SEGMENTS: Rick Gorka’s Press Outburst in Poland | Rafalca’s Impact on Mitt Romney’s VP Pick Stephen’s Dressage Training Pt. 2 | StePhest Colbchella ’012 - Rocktaugustfest
SUIT REPORT: Dark navy suit| Light blue shirt| Red/Navy striped tie| Riding ensemble (with tiara)
VIDEOS: Tuesday, July 31, 2012
 
 
 

Urgent Fangirl Bulletin: Wow! Did Stephen look handsome in that riding outfit or what? And Colbchella is back baby! We’ll have lots more in this guide to follow.

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What an epic episode! Not only did we see the conclusion of the “Sport of the Summer” coverage, we had the unveiling of what is going to be an amazing concert event! Never to be outdone, by himself…Stephen will have this year’s Colbchella on the USS Intrepid? I am trying to figure out the logistics of how this event will go down. Stephen Colbert. Hip bands. Grand Master Flash? On a ship. Hmmmm…I am intrigued. Apparently, a lot of people took to Stephen’s advice literally and flocked to colbertnation.com looking for tickets. I don’t see anything open right now, but for the love of Pete, if you have any ability to be in the tri-state area on August 10th, try to be there - and provide us here at CNH with what is surely to be an epic ReporTTTTT.

Getting back to dressage, what a gorgeous horse to learn how to “dressage” on, even for 20 minutes of training. I thought Stephen looked lovely in his riding apparel, as has been noted. I guess those early years of horse back riding lessons in Carolina (he talked on Letterman about it) came in handy for this bit. All around a great segment, one of the highlights of the year, to be sure.

What did y’all think of the episode? Let us know in the comments.

Intro

• Tonight! The world of dressage. Or as horses call it, Forced Dancing for Rich Folks.

• Then, big news in the world of music. The aging members of Kiss want to rock ‘n roll… only till about 6:30.

• And my guest is artist Jeff Koons, whose works sell for millions, but I am willing to sell his half-eaten cheese tray for 20 grand.

• India is crippled by power failures. Have they tried unplugging the country and plugging it back in?

Rick Gorka’s Press Outburst in Poland

• Today presidential candidate Mitt Romney wraps up his historic vacation to England, Israel, and Poland, and I am sure he is glad to be finally coming back homes.

• Why is that controversial? Every week Hank Williams, Jr. questioned if Americans were ready for some football! C’mon, double standard.

• So all in all, a successful trip. Best of all, Romney has checked 3 countries off his list of 1000 Places to Offend People Before You Die. I know I’ve always dreamed of visiting Machu Pichu , to remind the Peruvians of what a tiny people they are.

Rafalca’s Impact on Mitt Romney’s VP Pick

• [Rafalca] is competing in dressage, which I have declared the Sport of the Summer, for those who use “summer” as a verb.

• Yes, there will be no VP announcement until after Rafalca is done competing. And that can mean only one thing: Romney has chosen Rafalca as his running mate.

• This is an historic choice, like Sarah Palin. Like Palin, Rafalca’s female, also doesn’t read newspapers, and has completed the same number of terms as governor.

• It’s really about budgeting. You cut out a couple of lattes a week, by the end of the month you got yourself a 3 million dollar Dutch warmblood.

• Tonight, the thrilling conclusion, which, in the spirit of NBC’s [Olympic] coverage, we actually taped 10 days ago.

Stephen’s Dressage Training Pt. 2

StePhest Colbchella ’012 - Rocktaugustfest

• I am a big player in the music biz, and by biz I mean industry.

• And I know all the latest, hottest bands, like Bonaroo and Lollapalooza. Those guys are great.

• We cranked it off and ripped off the knob. In fact, it took a team of surgeons four hours to successfully reattach the knob. And I gotta say, the knob has lost some sensitivity.

• In the music biz, you always got to reinvent yourself….like Paul Simon after he had that weird growth removed [referring to Art Garfunkel.]

• I love Fun. I hear their shows are a ton of Band.

• Don’t push him, cause he’s close to the edge-and on the Intrepid, the edge is like a 50 foot drop.

Interview

• Jeff Koons: The art happens inside you, the viewer. And the art is the sense of your own potential as a person. And that’s where the art is. These are just kind of like transponders that trigger that information in you.

• Stephen: If art happens in a wood and no one is there to see it, was it beautiful?

• Jeff Koons: You wouldn’t know unless you were there to see it. (Stephen looks at JK like his mind was just blown.) Even yourself, you could look at something, and you can kind of study something, and look at it for years, and then one day, you can just find the beauty in something, and it can change your life forever from that moment. But you don’t always know when it will present itself. But it happens in you.