EPISODE NUMBER: 8100 (May 9, 2012)
GUESTS: Anna Wintour
SEGMENTS: Mexico’s Debate Playmate | Barack Obama vs. North Carolina on Gay Marriage | Jon McNaughton’s “Nation Under Socialism” Artwork | Sign Off - “I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)” Audiobook
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | White Shirt | Light blue & purple striped tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Colbert Report almost made some big news last night. With Stephen so swept up in Obama’s Maytober Gay Marriage bombshell announcement, he was about to wed his longtime “friend” Tad in a touching ceremony, complete with the set bedecked in a canopy of some sort and the plasma set panels all aglow in rainbow colors. Alas, it wasn’t to be, but we can dream!
I loved Stephen’s take on La Debate Playmate Mexicana, although I disagree that America should spice up our own debates in like fashion. Our politicians do a great job of entangling themselves in shenanigans without the presence of really hot “ushers” onstage.
Anna Wintour made for a great guest; I have heard so much about her, but never really heard her speak (or without sunglasses, for that matter.) She is kind of feisty, and really got a good shot in at Stephen’s wardrobe choices. As someone who has to describe his clothing for this site, it usually goes like this: ctrl paste “gray suit white shirt horizontal striped tie.” But he still manages to look fetching, half Windsor or no.
What did you think of the episode? I just picked up my audiobook copy and in doing so supported usvetsinc.org!
Mexico’s Debate Playmate
We are having our kulo handed over to us by Mexico.
While our politicians talk about contraceptives, theirs should really wear one.
Here is Gabriel Quadri analyzing her firm rebuttal.
Monico Chimpanzon!
Not only are their elections more exciting, their cable news has more credibility.
"Why can't we do that up here! I mean, c'mon Anderson Cooper, is it too much to ask you to moderate a debate as a white tiger? He still looks good!"
Barack Obama vs. North Carolina on Gay Marriage
This afternoon you’re marriage started feeling a little weak, didn’t it? You had a sudden urge to abandon your family and go antiquing up at the cape. And it’s all because today, Barack Obama became the first sitting president to push the rainbow button and launch “gaymageddon.”
Stephen: This was a mistake! I’m sorry!
Tad: You’re going to have to tell my mother! (Storms off below set.)
Stephen: I’m sorry!
I’m never going to get the deposit back from this hall.
I can’t believe a sitting President endorsed gay marriage in the Oval Office, sullying a room once reserved for straight hummers from interns.
You won’t want to miss (the interview), so set your alarms to gay o’clock.
Ha! Suck it gays, by which I mean, do not.
You know you just dream of that special day when you can find your soul mate and together you can celebrate your love of denying people their rights. I’m sorry, I always cry at the prevention of weddings.
I believe gay people should be having hot, sweaty, depraved, anonymous man piles in the basements of techno-clubs, devoid of the slightest human connection as God intended.
So congratulations, North Carolina. Last night, you struck a decisive vote for loneliness. And tonight, as you go to sleep beside your heterosexual life mate, you can rest assured that all across your great state, a gay man or a lesbian woman is crying themselves to sleep in solitude, and making your relationship stronger with every tear.
That reminds me: I gotta call Tad. Tad!
Jon McNaughton’s “Nation Under Socialism” Artwork
Then, my portrait sold at auction for $26,000, meaning, my portrait made more money than most art teachers.
….art aficionado and televised bag of hammers Sean Hannity….
Yes, fine art is like fine fruit. You sell it by the foot.
"It's complicated, so let me explicate the painting's message on its multiple metaphorical levels. Barack Obama represents President Obama, and the burning constitution represents...the constitution on fire. I didn't get it at first either."
"I am just so glad the art world finally has a conservative master to balance out all the liberal hacks. I mean, we get it, Jackson Pollack, raise the taxes on the top 1% of wage earners to redistribute their wealth, thus preserving the social safety net. A little heavy handed."
(To audience’s applause) They love it, they love the John McNaughton.
“One Nation Under Socialism” here is just the latest offering in McNaughton’s rich oeuvre. I don’t even know what that word means.
(“The Founding Fathers”) is so lifelike, you can almost hear the Founding Fathers saying “who gave that slave a suit?
It’s like “Where’s Waldo,” only what you are searching for is the smallest hint of subtlety.
It’s true. After seeing this painting, the only thing I could say was, “what’s happening?”
Interview
Anna Wintour: Don’t you think you could take a few more risks with the way you’re dressing?
SC: What are you talking about? My suit’s not buttoned and I went a four in hand knot! I mean, that’s crazy, I should have went with a half Windsor.
AW: But now that you are endorsing gay marriage, I think you know, Tad would be a little disappointed in your look.
SC: Excuse me, Tad wanted us to wear linen caftans and (marry) barefoot on a beach. So you don’t want his fashion advice.
AW: No, I’m all for that.
SC: And I am not endorsing gay marriage, I’m resisting gay marriage. You’re in the fashion world, ok, ok? Are there gay people in the fashion world? Are you as angry as I am about this gay marriage thing?
AW: I am thrilled. There were tears in the office of Vogue today in support of gay marriage, we’re thrilled with the president-
SC: You’re reinforcing a hateful stereotype, I hope you realize.
****
SC: Is there ever a time when you can not care about fashion? Can you say to yourself “to hell with this, put on your zebra-striped sweatpants and go to Long John Silvers and lose yourself in a pile of batter-fried shrimp?
AW: Well, I haven’t tried it recently, but maybe now that you’ve suggested it I should try?
SC: Perhaps you and I-
AW: -together-
SC: -could go bobbing for french fries.
AW: Why not? Why not? It’s a date.
Sign Off - “I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)” Audiobook
This episode should be used in submission for the Emmy next year! Perfect from start to finish! That is all.
Tip of the Hat!
+5
I think at this point, most episodes can be used. Stephen has become a master at his craft.
Could not connect yesterday, but wanted to say the Maurice- Stephen bits choked me up.
Tip of the Hat!
+5
That was the greatest artistic-oriented takedown ever conceived by man.
Tip of the Hat!
+6
Stephen almost marries Tad the Building Manager the day AFTER I’m there?! I wouldn’t trade that day for anything, but of course that would happen. True story, I almost asked during the Q&A the day before whether we would see Tad the Building Manager any time soon. Now we know.
Gail’s right - good luck to whoever decides what episode(s) to submit for Emmy consideration. You could really just close your eyes and point, and whatever episode you picked would be brilliant enough. They’ve been so, so good lately.
Tip of the Hat!
+2