May 8, 2012 — Michelle Alexander
EPISODE NUMBER: 8099 (May 8, 2012)
GUESTS: Michelle Alexander | Senator Claire McCaskill
SEGMENTS: Corporate Campaign Players & Super Secret “Spooky PACs”| Attack Ads from Secret Money - Claire McCaskill | Uncensored - Maurice Sendak Tribute | Sign Off - “I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)”
SUIT REPORT: Gray Suit | White Shirt | Navy tie with gray diamond pattern
VIDEOS: Tuesday, May 8, 2012
May 8th is a bittersweet day for the Colbert Nation: on the one hand, Stephen’s first children’s book I Am a Pole (And So Can You!) is released, but also Maurice Sendak, the man who in part inspired its very release, passes away. It is a fitting tribute that the book will carry on a little bit of his legacy, as well as his many famous works. It is also wonderful that Stephen had the honor of conducting his last interview, and in addition to the official 2 part version aired in January, we were also treated in this episode to a great deal originally not included in the series. Hopefully Maurice and his trusty dog Jennie are smiling down on us as we celebrate his life and works.
We also had a lot of time dedicated to all the current hub-bubbery (that’s a word, sure) about Super PACs in this early stage of the General election, and Senator Claire McCaskill did a great job in her interview at the the C-table. I certainly feel for her; it must be awful to have a slew of negative attack ads hurled at you, and not feel like you can retaliate or respond, because you don’t know who’s behind them. Not great in the era of an Obama administration purportedly dedicated to “transparency.”
Even though time was running short, we had another awesome, intelligent interview subject in Michelle Alexander. She did a great job of getting her point across: astonishingly, the U.S. incarceration rate has quintupled since the 1970s, according to Ms. Alexander, mostly due to minor drug violations (ya know, the pot and stuff.) Changes in our drug policy can save young people from lives scarred by the stigma of incarceration and felony conviction.
What did you think of the episode? Feel free to comment. And be sure to pick up your copy of I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)
Corporate Campaign Players & Super Secret “Spooky PACs”
(To audience) I gotta say, you guys are congealing like a fine pudding.
The general elections are underway, and I am as giddy as a schoolgirl who will soon be denied birth control.
To put 1100 in perspective, that the number of Arabian nights plus the number of problems Jay Z has.
Those crumbums in Washington are hearing our voice, our bitchy, bitchy voice, because so far this year 70% of presidential ads have been negative, and that’s not even counting the positive Gingrich ads, which are still kind of negative, because they contain Newt Gingrich.
But folks all this negativity can have a downside, for the donors.
Yes, secret billionaires are just trying to get “involved” in the political process, the same way the Secret Service wanted to get involved with those prostitutes.
…Newt Gingrich’s SuperPAC “Winning Our Future” which has now recently been renamed “Dodging Our Creditors.”
So now Edelson is going underground, where it is possibly he originated.
He’s talking about super secret 501 c 4s, or as they are now known, “Spooky Pacs,” which can accept unlimited money without ever disclosing their donors because they are technically “social welfare organizations.”
Colbert SuperPAC Shh!’s motto: “Making a better tomorrow at a later date that is none of your G-d damn business.”
And for you transparency fetishists, I am happy to now make my full, legally required disclosure: I have written the names of Colbert Super PAC Shh! donors on my taint in butterscotch topping. I invite the FEC to audit it with their tongues. [CN's note: Very naughty thing to say, Stephen!]
"Their negative attack ads count as charity, in the same way yelling 'Get a job, you dirty bum!' is a donation to the homeless."
"I believe that's what our Founding Fathers envisioned for democracy. No, not those founders Jimmy, the anonymous ones in the back."
" Last year (Crossroads GPS) received two anonymous 10 million dollar donations. They were so secret, it's possible even Karl doesn't know who they were from. He might have received them through his donation glory hole.
Attack Ads from Secret Money - Claire McCaskill
SC: All these good men want to do is run attack ads against you with money that is not traceable. Why do you have to make that ugly?
CM: Because secret usually is ugly. It’s kind of sleazy, slimy, secret money-
SC: (Obnoxiously interrupts) The money is not secret, the money is very public, the men are secret.
*****
SC: If people knew who was giving you that money, then the people donating this money, or women, might face the kind of attack ads you’re facing.
CM: (laughing) Wouldn’t that be unfair?
SC: But they’re private individuals, your a public figure. You deserve the attack ads.
CM: I certainly expect attack ads in commercials, but what I don’t expect is for this all to be secret.
****
SC: Why don’t you get your own Spooky PAC? Why not fire with fire, instead of fighting fire by going “Oh my God I’m on fire!”
CM: I really don’t want a Spooky PAC, I want the voters to be able to look at who’s giving me money and make up their mind. For these Spooky PACs, we don’t know, we have no idea.
****
SC: You know, I have a Super PAC….and I don’t know if you read the paper, I’ve got so much cash. Would you like some of it?
CM: Well, I can’t ask you for Super PAC money, because that would be coordination, which, as you well know, Stephen, is illegal.
SC: I was trying to entrap you in a federal crime.
CM: You were! I caught you!
SC: Good lady.
Uncensored - Maurice Sendak Tribute
Maurice Sendak: What is a children’s book? I don’t have a clue, I’m famous for them, I write them, I illustrate them, but I don’t know what they are, I don’t know why they are for children.
SC: I like that your work doesn’t sugarcoat childhood. You bring the pain, you keep it real.
MS: But some people think that it’s not appropriate for children, to suffer pain, read about it, think about it, feel about it, but yet that’s all they do.
SC: Every moment of childhood is a sense of uncertainty.
MS: Yes, I think childhood is a period of great torment, when you learn all these things, of what is, of what isn’t, of what you can do, what cannot do, it’s very hard.
SC: What’s the best thing a parent can do for a child?
MS: Love him/her.
SC: What’s that mean?
MS: Take them for what they are.
Interview
Michelle Alexander: Today we have a new system of racial and social control, uh, a system of mass incarceration, that operates in ways that are eerily reminiscent of a system we supposedly left behind.
SC: You’re going after my man, Ronald Reagan now.
***
SC: You’re saying white drug abusers are boring. Black people have to be cooler at that, too!
MA: I’m saying that people who use and sell drugs who have jobs, live in decent neighborhoods and all of that may not provide as much entertainment as people who are struggling for basic survival.
SC: …people tell me I’m white, and I believe them, because I get my drugs from a pharmacy. But aren’t we beyond any sort of racial discrimination in this country? We have an African-American president. (Slaps hands) Fixed.
****
MA: One of the biggest myths about mass incarceration who are sent to jails is that they become overwhelmingly violent offenders.
SC: They turn into Muslims….I’m just saying it’s simpler to just say “no.” Your answer doesn’t have the word “just” in it.
MA:It doesn’t have the word “just”, but it is just “be fair.” Treat people of color as human beings worthy of dignity, respect, and the same chances of life as people growing up in middle class, white neighborhoods, who make the same kinds of mistakes but aren’t asked to pay for the rest of their lives for their mistakes.”
SC: Good luck, good luck.
Sign Off - “I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)”
I realize that the episode has not aired yet, but I’ll say that awesome things happened for me tonight and I will have a super cool taping reporT for y’all tomorrow
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Cosmo Reply:
May 9th, 2012 at 1:56 PM
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karenatasha Reply:
May 9th, 2012 at 2:16 PM
Can’t wait!
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lockhart43 Reply:
May 9th, 2012 at 4:21 PM
It’s done and emailed! CN Helper, because you’re the one writing this recap and because I had your contact info, I sent it to you.
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Mariana312 Reply:
May 10th, 2012 at 12:21 AM
Lockhart, I hope you have the inside scoop on the woman with the awful, cackling laugh. Like, is she related to the man with the distracting laugh who has been there a couple of times before?! In serious news, I’m excited to hear about all the awesome things!
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lockhart43 Reply:
May 10th, 2012 at 1:02 AM
It’s funny, because during the taping I completely did not notice it and was not paying attention to her laugh at all. I was mostly trying to focus on Stephen as much as possible. But now that I’m watching the show online, I notice it right away! I don’t even know where she would have been sitting - that’s how much I didn’t notice it, haha.
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Erika Reply:
May 10th, 2012 at 2:06 AM
Okay am I crazy? I swear I can hear that really annoying guy laugh in this clip here: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-january-24-2001/at-the-white-house
Can anybody else hear it? Does he date that far back???
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colbaby Reply:
May 10th, 2012 at 2:34 AM
Dear god. Around the 2:15 mark, right? Either he’s a hard core fan, someone who worked for TDS (and now TCR), or he’s like the black cat Neo saw and there’s a glitch in The Matrix.
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Erika Reply:
May 10th, 2012 at 6:27 AM
Okay I’m so glad I’m not the only one. It’s weird because you mentioned that guy and then I just happened to watch this clip (I was looking back at some of the episodes he hosted after they mentioned it on Live With Kelly) and heard him and I thought I had to be crazy haha.
It’s a Stephen clip he’s laughing at so maybe he’s particularly tickled by Colbert! In any manner, I don’t think we’ve heard the last of him! Maybe one of us will end up at a taping with him someday and we’ll finally get to the bottom of this.
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Gaurav Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 4:27 PM
OMG! The laugh lady! I am so glad others noticed her too. She almost ruined my first ever Colbert taping. She was in front of my friend and I in the line, and later in the hall before they let us into the studio. She kept cackling in the line and in the hall at the slightest excuse. It was jarring enough to make me oppose gun control laws. We kept praying that she’d be seated far away from us, but as luck would have it, she was right in front of us and kept cackling even throughout the break! Thanks to her, I know that the glass used in the Colbert Report studio is of a very high quality.
I shouldn’t be too harsh on her. She seemed like a young woman (I’d guess 20 or so), probably in college. She had come with two friends - another young lady and a bearded young man (lockhart might remember him as the first guy whose beard the stand-up guy made fun of) and they were clearly ken on having a good time. They also *might* have been high, because they laughed at a frequency way higher (in many ways) than normal.
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CN Helper Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 8:03 PM
Welcome to the site! Regardless of what goes on in the audience, we know that Stephen has a gazillion years experience working with unruly crowds, particularly from his days with Second City. He’s probably the last one to notice what we would consider distracting behavior- so it’s usually best to ignore the others, sit back, and enjoy the show. This was a great episode and taping to attend, three fantastic interviews packed in about 6 minutes or so.
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Gaurav Reply:
May 12th, 2012 at 1:17 AM
Oh absolutely loved the episode. I kept looking at Stephen when they ran the Sendak clips and the genuine look of sadness that flashed across his face a couple of times off-camera was very touching.
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lockhart43 Reply:
May 23rd, 2012 at 2:04 PM
Gaurav, I was watching Stephen’s reaction during the Sendak clips, too - it’s strangely comforting to know I wasn’t the only one doing that. You’re absolutely right; it was incredibly touching to see his genuine respect and emotion while watching that interview with all of us.
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Thank you, dear Stephen, for showing that awesome additional clip of Maurice Sendak. It was beautiful, touching, and completely marvelous. I understand why it wasn’t in the original two interviews: it featured a far more serious and straight Stephen. I’m still with tears in my eyes and grateful that Stephen did more than just mention Sendak’s passing in the sign-off. He paid real tribute.
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Caroline Reply:
May 10th, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Yes, that was a perfect tribute to Maurice.
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I haven’t seen the episode yet, but the first thing I noticed from the screencaps was that Stephen has a new pair of shoes.
Terribly sad to hear the passin gof Maurice Sendak. I had no idea who he was until Stephen interviewed him, and he with out a doubt i smy favourite guest interview of all time.
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Those were some beautiful moments Stephen shared with Maurice Sendak. A lot of those questions were clearly not made to get a laugh and were just Stephen’s way of getting to know such an amazing person better, and I think what he especially said about raising children was majestically thoughtful and beautiful, just like his books.
Claire McCaskill, Buddy Roemer, and others are doing what President Obama should be doing and I think that’s one of the things Stephen’s pointing out with all of this, maybe inadvertently, maybe not. They are bravely standing up to Super Pacs even if it possibly costs them their elections because they know it’s the right thing to do. Obama says he hates the Citizen United ruling but he feels he has to go along with the same money raising tactics in order to beat Romney. If he took a real stand and said “No Pac money!” I’d respect him a lot more and I still think he’d turn out okay. In fact, he’d get a lot of the hardcore progressives a lot more on his side instead of the lukewarm “well he’s not Romney” attitude.
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