January 19, 2012 — Carrie Rebora Barratt

The Colbert Report Episode GuideEPISODE NUMBER: 8047 (January 19, 2012)
GUESTS: Carrie Rebora Barratt
SEGMENTS: Indecision 2012 – Troubled GOP Waters & Stephen Under Attack | Colbert Super PAC- John Paul Stevens | Carrie Robora Barratt | James Taylor & Stephen Colbert- “Carolina in My Mind” | Sign off- Flight to Charleston, SC
SUIT REPORT: Black suit | White shirt | Yellow tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, January 19, 2012

Tonight’s episode had some special surprises. From a life size replica of Washington Crossing the Delaware to a duet of Going to Carolina with James Taylor, Stephen spoils us once again. He’s gearing up for the Rock Me Like a Herman Cain South Cain-olina Primary Rally. Any attending Hubsters, it is your duty to film this event and report to the Nation. At ease.

Indecision 2012 - Troubled GOP Waters & Stephen Under Attack

Stephen recaps the recent GOP drama. He briefly mentions Ricky Perry’s dropout and Romney’s late Iowa loss before ripping into Santorum for his “colossal blunder” over couches and who should be seated on them. Forever the equal opportunity nailer, Stephen doesn’t leave out Gingrich whose extramarital affairs just won’t go away. They are pesky like that. Finally, he gets to the real news, the latest Super PAC ad attacking Stephen Colbert.

Notable Quotables

  • Rick Perry has dropped out of the race to spend more time getting leathery.
  • For the record ladies and gentlemen let’s not forget, Rosa Parks did break the law.
  • Can we get one of the real Supreme Court guys? I don’t care if they’re in session just get me one of them. How many- they’ve got like five of them. Nine?

I gotta rally in South Carolina tomorrow and I gotta make a plane. In fact, this is actually a pre-tape and I’m at the airport right now and they just called my flight. Flight Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen now boarding zone 2. (looks at ticket) Zone 4, s#*t! Well, at least I can finish my Cinnabon.

I'm sorry that is an affront to the sanctity of traditional sofa. You start accepting man on man couching and it's a slippery slope to accepting dog on couching.

Samuel L. Jackson: Enough is enough! I've had it with these money grubbing Super PACs messing with our Monday to Friday elections.

Colbert Super PAC- John Paul Stevens

Stephen sits down with Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens who was the dissenting vote in both Bush v. Gore and Citizens United. During their lofty conversation Stephen tries to get out of a speeding ticket and asks the honorable Judge Stevens if he’s going to yell at him through the entire interview.

Notable Quotables

  • I was doing 90 in a school zone but that was only because I was drunk and I knew I had to get out of that neighborhood as fast as possible. You know, to protect those kids.
  • Bush v. Gore great Supreme Court decision or the greatest Supreme Court decision?
  • Did you go mad with power? You know, “Scalia, through the spanking machine!”?
  • Who brought the walnut to the jam hoop?

What part of lifetime appointment don't you get sir? You're supposed to go your entire lifetime. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, you sound like a quitter... I'm ninety, I don't want to work everyday. That's the message to the kids.

William Rehnquist famously put stripes on his robes. Were you ever sort of tempted to zaz up your look? You know? Like this.

Interview

John Paul Stevens: You don’t suggest that corporations can do everything that persons can do?

Stephen: They can. There’s nothing I’d deny them that they wanted to do.

John Paul Stevens: Well, I don’t know how a corporate person would drink a glass of water for example.

Stephen: Well they could consume water in their own way. A corporation makes nuclear reactors, consumes a great deal of water. How they digest that water is different from yours but you don’t have any right to judge them for the way that they do it.

John Paul Stevens: No, I think I do.

Stephen: You do? Why? Because you’re a Supreme Court Justice?

John Paul Stevens: That’s right.

Stephen: Okay, fantastic.

John Paul Stevens: We have jurisdiction over corporations.

Stephen: You’re a Supreme Court Justice, I’m not. That gives you the right to judge things.

John Paul Stevens: That’s right.

Stephen: That’s very convenient. Very convenient.

John Paul Stevens: That’s part of your commission. You have to do some judging.

Stephen: Last question.

John Paul Stevens: Sure.

Stephen: Are there any decisions you made that you later regretted?

John Paul Stevens: Other than this interview?

Stephen: Yes.

John Paul Stevens: I don’t think so.

Carrie Rebora Barratt

My guest tonight is the associate director of the collections at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It'll be the first time I nail somebody by nodding thoughtfully.

Carrie Rebora Barratt: Have you been (to the Metropolitan Museum of Art)?

Stephen: Have I been? I have not. I have not been.

Carrie Rebora Barratt: Oh, well I’ll take you through. Whenever you want.

Stephen: Really. That would be fantastic.

Carrie Rebora Barratt: Absolutely, private tour

Stephen: Can I lick the paintings? Its a simple, Its a simple question ma’am. I can’t be the first person whose asked you that.

Carrie Rebora Barratt: You are actually.

Stephen: Really? Well, we’ve broken some new ground.

……..

Carrie Rebora Barratt: This was Christmas. Christmas day 1776. The Virginia militia is following their leader across the Delaware river to Trendton.

Stephen: Right, and when they get to Trendton they are gonna stomp the hell out of some Hessians, right? Merry Christmas! Time to die.

…….

Carrie Rebora Barratt: Stop! It’s a fob. It’s a fob.

Stephen: Is that what you call it? That’s a polite name for it. And they’re bright red and tiny because it is so cold!

James Taylor & Stephen Colbert- “Carolina in My Mind”

None other than Mr. James Taylor showed up and played Carolina in My Mind set to a montage of Stephen and Cain. Sorry Hubsters no MP3 at this time but I will work on it.

Sign off- Flight to Charleston, SC

Well, thank you. That is it for the Report everybody. Flight attendant: Now boarding zone 4. S#*t! I gotta go! Goodnight! See you at Charleston.

24 thoughts on “January 19, 2012 — Carrie Rebora Barratt

  1. *Grabby Hands* MP3 Please!!!!!

    What a great song! What a great show! What a great week!!!

    I’ve got a friend who lives in Mount Pleasant who will be doing her damnedest to duck out of work and be my eyes and ears tomorrow. And tho she wouldn’t have otherwise been voting on Saturday, she’s now bound and motivated to do the best she Cain, uh, I mean can, to exercise her citizenly right. I Cain’t wait (sorry, but I’m pun-stuck) to see how the numbers come out on this. And how Stephen keeps the fun rolling.

    Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +5

    • It was wonderful-and yes, I want the MP3!

      THREE guests. And everything worked. But that song was such a joyful surprise. It’s always been one of my favorites, and the images were such a well-chosen mix of the hysterically funny and the lovingly beautiful.

      These past two weeks have been beyond superb. And next week? It was be a WOW.

      Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +2

    • Both The Daily Show and The Colbert Report have been delivering phenomenal shows ever since they’ve been back. Cain you imagine how much will have gone down by the time we hit Indecision 2012 election night coverage? I hope your friend made it today to the Rally today and Cain vote tomorrow too. It’d be great to hear from somebody who got to be there!

      Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +1

  2. Great show from beginning to end, but honestly, I can’t even think beyond the singing. Stephen and James Taylor harmonize so beautifully together. The audio of that performance was played at the Wellmont Theatre last month before the interview with Stephen started, and all I could think at the time was “Why haven’t we heard that before?!?” So, yeah… MP3, please!! *grabby hand*

    Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +3

    • I wish I would have run into you at the event Ann! It was so great to hear this song again, I’m glad Stephen finally shared it with us. I can’t tell you how hard I tried to get an MP3 recorder to work for this. My very old laptop just doesn’t seem to want to comply. I concur with everyone here about it. I want that MP3! So don’t worry I’m not giving up, I just can’t make any promises.

      Tip of the Hat! Thumb up 0

  3. Justice Stevens is one of my heroes; I’m so glad Stephen was able to interview him when he was in D.C. It seemed like he was an it-getter, right? It was great that he actually had a good response to Stephen’s “check and mate.” (And I’m glad Stephen didn’t use his “You’re racist” line; I feel like that’s getting a tad old and you probably shouldn’t say that to someone like Justice Stevens, even in jest!)

    Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +5

    • That interview was absolutely epic! What a fantastic surprise. He really did a great job in the face of Stephen’s craziness. Stephen left himself wide open for the jab he got in at the end about the interview being a mistake, the look on his face was priceless. Justice Stevens nailed him.

      Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +2

  4. I have to say this episode was the first time I have heard the slur “Kraut” used since, I think when I read A Tree Grows In Brooklyn maybe?? The analog side-by-side of Patterson Springs Stephen and Cain was totally hilarious, indeed the whole montage during the song.
    Listening to the song right now: so melodic and beautiful. How is it that James Taylor sounds exactly the same as he did in 1978? Just amazing. Thanks guys for that song.

    Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +2

  5. I have so many favorite moments from this episode! What a get (and an it-getter) Justice Stevens was. I’ve only recently become more interested in learning more about the Supreme Court Justices, and I feel we really lost a grand figure when he retired. And that was a great interview, too, especially the end line by Stevens.

    I thought the format of the Barratt interview was a nice change of pace. What better way to analyze a painting than to have Stephen up and away from the interview desk and standing right next to the giant canvas? And THAT SONG. My dear, that song! Stephen’s voice sounds so wonderful when paired with James Taylor. It’s not on par with “Cheap Reward,” but I have a feeling that after listening to it more and more, it just might come close. Finally, that sign-off was definitely one of my favorites! It was so funny, and I loved the look on Stephen’s face as he jumped up at the camera.

    Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +1

    • Have you read Jeffrey Toobin’s “The Nine”? I really enjoyed it and learned a lot, even though Toobin’s not my favorite.

      Tip of the Hat! Thumb up +1

      • Stephen mentioned the book the last time Toobin was on the show, so I’ve only heard of it. It’s nice to know that it’s actually a good read; I’ll add it to my To-Read list. Thanks for the recommendation!

        Tip of the Hat! Thumb up 0

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