December 12, 2011 — Samuel L. Jackson
EPISODE NUMBER: 7156 (December 12, 2011)
GUESTS: Samuel L. Jackson
SEGMENTS: Tip/Wag - Liberal American Heritage Dictionary & Newt Gingrich | Norway’s Butter Shortage
SUIT REPORT: Black suit | Light blue shirt | Christmasy red tie
VIDEOS: Monday, December 12, 2011
Doesn’t the set look charming? Love all the Christmas regalia, I am glad team TCR took the time to decorate for this last week of shows. Tip of my hat to the set designers! My favorite set was 2006, when they had the life size nativity scene, I always have an image of Deepak Chopra sitting amongst a 5 foot plastic Balthasar lodged in my memory.
Boy, was Samuel L. Jackson a great guest. As I mentioned in my pre-ep guide warm up, I would have grilled Samuel on ‘fessing up to what was in that suitcase in Pulp Fiction, but Stephen had to be all substantive-y and stuff with the race-related questions, as per usual. Usually celebrity interviews are heavily edited and 4:27 minutes long, but this interview was free wheeling and fun, and Mr. Jackson didn’t seem the least bit fazed by Stephen at all.
When Samuel told Stephen he thought Stephen didn’t see race because he “osmotically” (which, accordingly to my auto correct, is a word) received non-race seeing powers directly from Martin Luther King’s movement, that was something I have secretly believed about Stephen. I think there was a reason that Stephen was “there” when Martin Luther King spoke, and I think that King’s message keenly resonates through a lot of Stephen’s takes on race and class, and the show and his work as a whole.
But please for the love St. Joseph Stephen don’t eat any more sticks of butter! Deep fried or otherwise!
What did you guys think of the episode? Be sure to comment!
Quotables
From Christmas Cram
The trick is, you take one thing from each lawn on your way to work.
Oh hey! (Whispers to reflection)Later.
So Merry Christmas, and to all my Jewish viewers, Happy Jesus’ birthday.
From Tip/Wag
Which is why I am giving a wag of my finger to the lexicowards at The American Heritage Dictionary.
The same thing with the Chinese fire drill. Why are those orientals always trying to delay traffic at our intersections?
"So now that anchor baby has been declared offensive, I hold little hope for my submission, 'grappling baby,' the all too common occurrence of a pregnant woman in Mexico aiming her birth canal at America, to launch her baby over the border, so then she can climb in using the umbilical cord. "
If you don’t think this is happening, you are living in a dream world. That’s why I call on the Department of Homeland Security to hire of thousands of volley ball players to the border to spike these little criminals back to Mexico.
He has got a good head on his shoulders, and a lot of it.
An electro-magnetic pulse would disable all electronic devices, all computers, the entire power grid would shut down, leading to the unthinkable: we would have to listen to those Amish bastards say, “we told ye so!”
Yes. Bond, James Bond, agrees with Gingrich, Newt Gingrich.
And just like Bond Gingrich is calm under pressure, a little cocky, and is frequently seen with different leading ladies. Plus, his half million dollar line of credit at Tiffany’s proves that he knows Diamonds are Forever. Sounds to me like Newt is a Moonraker.
Well still a Tip of my Hat, you know he is in the 1%, creating jobs for all those evil henchmen.
From Norway’s Butter Shortage
While the Presidential race is the big news here in America, Europe is facing a crisis that cannot be ignored, and of course I am referring to Norway’s crippling butter shortage.
Norway has no butter reserves, and no hope of rebuilding their butter reserves, considering how long it takes to milk a reindeer. They keep flying away.
They are going crazy over a high fat, low carb diet? clearly, Norway has just discovered Atkins. How big is that time difference! I just hope they are prepared for Y 2K.
It’s definitely better than their last fad diet, the Norweigan herring cleanse, where you eat herring once, and swear off food forever. 90 kilos of butter, or roughly the equivalent of one Cinnabon.
Brace yourselves, Norway, for you about to be overrun by the butter cartels. Desperate butter mules will be swallowing condoms stuffed with sticks of Land ‘o Lakes, and pushing them on the streets of Oslo to spread heads tweaking on shortbread. Butter king pins will be meeting by the docks to moves bales of fresh churned “golden cow,” then testing its purity in the back of a truck by baking apple turnovers. Things are going to get ugly and delicious.
"We (in America) have so many g*ddamned kinds of butter, we have a product called 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.'"
(Spreads more butter on the butter.) Tell you what, that could use some more butter.
And you know what, I can feel the pounds just melting off. YOu know what this would be a good time for? A commercial break.
Interview Qutoables
I’ll ask him if in France they call civil rights, a “royale with rights.”
You were the only computer programmer in Jurassic Park who wasn’t a jerk. Did you get eaten in that?
Samuel L. Jackson: Yes, only my arm is left at the end of that film.
That is some solid acting.
Why would we want to humanize a hero like that? It’s Martin Luther King, not Martin Luther Human. Don’t we need larger than life figures?
Samuel L. Jackson: I feel you, I feel you on that.
I don’t see race.
Samuel L. Jackson: Yes you do! I heard about the grapple baby, that looked pretty racist to me.
I see nationality, that’s different.
Are you by the way- I-I-I, It was a serious question I asked you before. Are you an African American? Because, as I said, I took King’s lesson to heart and I don’t see the color of everyone’s skin. I only see the content of their character.
SLJ: Really?
Yeah.
SLJ: Awesome, uh, (laughs) unfortunately I don’t have that luxury, um.
Really?
SLJ: Oh no, no. I’m not a racist but I see race cause I wanna identify what’s going on and where, uh, I mean cultural backgrounds are very important.
But I think if we talk- if we talk about race we make it- we make racism worse.
SLJ: Well, I mean, that’s like sayin’… What? (laughs) I like the way you blind yourself to that.
Thank you very much! Well, I have to… because racism is so tempting.
SLJ: Really?
Oh, absolutely!
SLJ: How so?
Racism is so tempting because if I get to say, “Hey, here’s me and my group and we’re great and your group isn’t as good as my group.” That’s a very se-duc-tive feeling, you know what I mean?
SLJ:Is it?
Oh yeah! Then I don’t have to do anything to be better I can just say by-
SLJ: I am better.
I am better by the-by the virtue of my race. It’s a very lazy way of thinking.
SLJ: Really?
And so I have to blind myself (okay) to the reality of people’s skin color, so I have to earn the fact that I’m better than everyone.
SLJ:I feel that. I-
You see? And again you haven’t told me whether you’re a black person or not and- and you know what? That’s your right. That’s your right to not tell me. (Alright) If that’s something you don’t want me to know, that says something very interesting about you but-
SLJ: I’m not black, white, or anything. I’m- I’m, uh-uh-uh-uh, I’m a movie star. (laughs)
Wow! Wow. Well-well, my God.
SLJ: What can I say? You know.
Well that- That, that is one group I wouldn’t mind belonging to. That’s incredible. Does that- does that feel good?
SLJ: Totally dope! You have no idea. It’s- it’s a feeling I can’t explain to anybody. I try and act like it’s not a big deal… but it’s a pretty big f$#@*n’ deal.
SLJ: Osmotically, because your Mom was freedom marcher, and you were in the womb, you got all these non-racial viewing…
Are you saying that I am a black man?
SLJ: I can tell you got rhythm.
As a possible half-black man, I am offended.
Note: Hat tip to Kris for providing a transcription of the interview!
Yay Samuel L. was awesome!
I loved Stephen’s rant about race during the interview enough to want to transcribe it before realizing that I was watching it hours late and it was likely already in the works for the episode recap:)
(now to have a horrifically geeky moment)
I once heard a very compelling argument that “what was in the suitcase” was Marsellus Wallaces’ soul. Thus, the band-aid on the back of his neck from where his soul was extracted and the awed reactions of those who witness the suitcase’s contents. He literally sold his soul. It also fits with the biblical shepherd characterization of Jackson’s role. There were many other arguments made for this and I have enjoyed looking at the film this way and decided to be a super nerd and share.
(dweeb over and dweeb out)
TIP OF THE HAT!
+4
[Reply]
colbaby Reply:
December 13th, 2011 at 8:45 PM
Ha! I’d never heard that, but that’s pretty great. Now I’m going to have to watch the film again. I’d have given anything to see SLJ go off on “Stephen” like he did Brett. “Say grapple baby again. I dare you.”
TIP OF THE HAT!
+3
[Reply]
Kris Reply:
December 17th, 2011 at 12:03 AM
Race and Status a discussion by SC and SLJ (had to do it)
*Interview transcription*
TIP OF THE HAT!
+3
[Reply]
CN Helper Reply:
December 17th, 2011 at 9:07 AM
I went ahead and included your transcription in my post Kris, I hope you don’t mind. I was intending to include that, as Stephen’s comment on racism was pretty amazing! Thanks!
TIP OF THE HAT!
0
[Reply]
Dear lord, yes!
A bible verse off would be equally awesome. Samuel with his deep preacher tones and Colbert with his gravitas. See, now you’ve inspired something to torture my brain in new and wonderful ways *bows deeply*.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+2
[Reply]
colbaby Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 2:39 AM
Holy crap. I’m envisioning this as a feature length motion picture. Stephen and Jackson as rival preachers in a small town. A dark comedy where each sinks to gradually lower levels in order to build up his congregation. Stephen having to appeal to the african american members of the community, Jackson to the white members of the community. Each completely losing his morals in the name of competition.
Hollywood make this happen or so help me I’ll write it myself!
TIP OF THE HAT!
+8
[Reply]
Kris Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 6:38 AM
You are a goddess! I will gladly coauthor if necessary.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+2
[Reply]
colbaby Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 8:45 PM
I kid you not, I ended up scribbling down 7 pages of notes after writing that because it’s so clear in my head. I’ve never done anything like this, so I might very well do it just for the experience. Your input is welcome!
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]
Kris Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 9:19 PM
Well, I’ve written one screenplay so far (swore I’d never write another until I got the formatting software, which I recently did but of course, learning the software is nearly as challenging as just formatting by hand for a tech novice like myself). I didn’t just go out and think I knew what I was doing either, actually took a college course in screen writing so I know a bit about that part.
Have always said comedy was the most challenging genre but black/dark comedy is my favorite kind and this idea is fantastic! So, I’ll keep an eye on my public email address attached to my gravatar and if I hear from you I’ll send you my private email that comes to my phone.
Been saving up to sell my screenplay (yes, it really works that way) for awhile and you’re supposed to have three spec scripts when you hit the market. I was hoping to accomplish this by this spring or summer at the latest. I intended to begin this mighty quest when I finish A+ training mid January but could definitely be persuaded to lend a helping hand sooner if you’d like. The idea has legs, that’s for darn sure.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]
colbaby Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 9:34 PM
Holy cow, seriously? Ok, I’m going to be busy for a while, but I will shoot you an email sometime today with all of my ideas so far. It will probably be epically long (sorry about that), but I would LOVE to get your feedback. You’re awesome by the way.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+2
karenatasha Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 11:20 PM
Okay-first rules of Hollywood, dear Colbaby: NEVER post anything publicly. They’re robbers of ideas even from people who have the resources and background to fight them.
That said: I like it!
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]
colbaby Reply:
December 15th, 2011 at 2:52 AM
When Colbaby V Hollywood erupts, I’m going to be counting on you hubsters to testify on my behalf!
TIP OF THE HAT!
+4
[Reply]
anais0509 Reply:
December 15th, 2011 at 12:16 PM
Which we would gladly do, colbaby!
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]
karenatasha Reply:
December 15th, 2011 at 1:48 PM
I’d gladly testify, but the point is, it would not legally matter. Had you sent a copyrighted story to them, then it would. (Even then, cases have been lost that seemed relatively clear-cut. And even famous people have had to fight for years in order to get restitution.) If you post if publicly, with no copyright, it doesn’t. You could never prove that they didn’t have the same idea at the same time, no matter how unlikeI’m
I’m actually going to say something a bit serious now, because we have a lot of creative people here with hopes of writing and performing. NEVER post anything that isn’t copyrighted, and best not even to do that until and unless you’ve got a contract. Sharing should be done privately. I think Susan with her song was fine, because it was a video. A plot idea, however, is a fragile thing. The exception: if you really don’t care if someone grabs it and uses it, with no credit to you.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]
karenatasha Reply:
December 15th, 2011 at 1:55 PM
Aghhh-it won’t let me edit. Just FYI, my computer for some reason has a problem with the site and doesn’t let me see to the end of the line. So my edits:
I meant to say: If you post a story/plot idea publicly, there’s very little you can do to protect it.
And the last word of the first paragraph was simply supposed to be “unlikely.”
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
Kris Reply:
December 16th, 2011 at 10:30 AM
That is great advice Karenatasha! Fortunately Colbaby’s idea is so fantastic that anyone trying to steal this idea would be up for stiff competition based on the short blurb here. I know I had nightmares about my script being ripped off until it was copywrite and guild protected!
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
I also loved the interview. I thought Samuel L. Jackson would be great and he didn’t disappoint. It’s fun when Stephen has guests who can keep up with him.
Yes, a bible verse off would be awesome!
Am about to watch the interview again.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+2
[Reply]
This episode went down smooth as…BUTTAH, baby!
I always loved Samuel L. Jackson, and now I just love him even more. That interview was just unbelievable, the tops. And Stephen…can you think of another white guy who would stare Jackson in the face and say: “I don’t see race?” That Jackson could take it where he did-black by osmosis-is a tribute to him. Few people can take Stephen up a notch, but this worked superbly. The only problem is: if Stephen uses the “I don’t see race” line again, I’m going to immediately flash back to this show!
And back to the butter: that was simply hysterical. And CN I second your motion. NO MORE BUTTER EATING, Stephen. Geez chemical fire extinguishers, eating sticks of butter. This is literally turning into a job you’d die for!
TIP OF THE HAT!
+3
[Reply]
anais0509 Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 3:24 PM
Sheesh, this man will eat ANYTHING, won’t he? And ha ha, *ba-dum ching* on your butter pun, Karen.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]
Kris Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 5:48 PM
Butter’s got nothing on what Stephen’s willing to eat on screen. At least it seemed like he was planning to spit it out!
For instance, the inside of Jon’s couch:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-august-6-2003/gaysplosion
Or Aqua Velva:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-january-8-2004/cruisin-for-a-boozin-
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]
anais0509 Reply:
December 15th, 2011 at 12:41 PM
I remember watching Cruisin’ For A Boozin’ at some point and gagging at the aftershave part, but UGH on the “cotton candy”! Oh, the things you do for comedy…I wonder if Stephen was actually drunk in the Louisiana segment just like how Steve Carell was actually drunk during the Even Stephven Drinking segment.
TIP OF THE HAT!
0
[Reply]
Kris Reply:
December 16th, 2011 at 1:12 PM
I hate to publicly speculate but I’m inclined to think that by the time he was flirting with the waitress he was feeling pretty good. Top that with the awkward body language following the segment and the aqua valva move that could only be described as a ‘glutton for punishment’ moment. The name of the segment is also pretty ironic. I guess we are left to draw our own conclusions:)
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]
A TCR episode with Bond references. Can this show get any better!!
I love the backstage photo @SamuelLJackson tweeted from the dressing room. I had no idea Stephen wore so many wigs on the show.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+2
[Reply]
karenatasha Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 9:46 AM
With Daniel Craig on this week, the Bond references are working out fabulously!
TIP OF THE HAT!
0
[Reply]
“There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count, and those who can’t.”
That intro to Tip/Wag completely did me in! I feel like Stephen’s always been a fan of sentences with ideas that completely contradict each other (see Strangers With Candy: “Think about it; I haven’t.”). Which is fantastic, because I’m a fan as well.
Is it weird that I was waiting the entire interview for Samuel L. Jackson to drop the F-bomb? Because I was. And it was still totally hilarious even though I was expecting it. And hearing Stephen justify how he “doesn’t see race” and the look on his face as he explained it was pitch perfect.
TIP OF THE HAT!
+1
[Reply]