December 5, 2011 — Jimmie Johnson
EPISODE NUMBER: 7152 (December 5, 2011)
GUESTS: Jimmie Johnson
SEGMENTS: 2011 Kennedy Center Honors | Mysteries of the Ancient Unknown - 2012 End of Times | Herman Cain Drops Out
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | Light blue shirt | Light grey checked tie
VIDEOS: Monday, December 5, 2011
I can feel my heart beat in my hair. I will fist fight a shark.
I am so tired because last night I was in the nation's capital at the Kennedy Center Honours, which pays tribute to our nation's greatest artists by giving them suspenders stolen from 'Mork from Ork'.
Is 'Stonehendge' really a merry-go-round built by Druid carnies?
Gather round Hubsters and let’s all sing:
The Third Eagle’s Tune
I know some of you,
don’t agree
but, this Denver art
is pornography.
If you want
peace of mind
don’t look now
you’ll feel safer blind.
———-
Doom and gloom
coming soon
listen to Third Eagle’s tune
Doom and gloom.
**All together now**
Rest assured
fly by plane
don’t let them win their game.
Phony art
dirty scenes
We can beat
all their nasty schemes.
Don’t forget to swing by the Tapmeister’s YouTube Page: Third Eagle Books.
Today is a sad day for America's tomorrow, because the day before yesterday, Herman Cain suspended his campaign. That is a shame. He touched so many people.
Last month when Cain was accused of sexual harassment, he surged in the polls and raked in the cash, but his campaign simply cannot survive allegations of a consensual relationship.
Of course ever the statesmen, Cain left us a reminder of his trademark eloquence "Let me leave you with this. And I believe these words came from the 'Pokemon Movie' - "Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when there's so much on the line".
Yes, strong words. It reminds me of when Ronald Reagen challenged American to be great again by saying:
Don’t forget to add Stephen’s epilogue to your copy of “This is Herman Cain”: [Link]
Last week Stephen got into a fire extinguisher/seltzer bottle fight with Richard Branson, and this week he chair raced Jimmie Johnson around his interview desk. This is easily the most original, silly, smart, and oftentimes unpredictable show on television.
Watching Stephen race Johnson around his desk was complete joy. Plus, it didn’t hurt that both of them are incredibly easy on the eyes. Also, I can’t tell you how much I loved his cello puns!
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Incredibly funny show last night. I liked how on the cover of his “Cello book” Stephen is pointing at his cello like it’s his black friend. I miss Alan.
I never quite understood why Tapley thought penises were in cahoots with Satan. But maybe that’s a good thing for me and my mental health. I also loved that sad sack airport spokesman who they filmed like he was some kind of refugee from a Scandinavian about how meaningless life is.
Druid carnies?! Very strong, TCR. Very strong.
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As a frequent visitor to the Denver Airport, I was hysterical at the “Satan” sequence. But I’ve got to say: that blue horse IS evil. Not in a paranormal or apocalyptic way, but simply because it is so incredibly ugly and hideous you can’t imagine. Plus, I’ve heard the sculpture “killed” the sculptor somehow, but I do not have the full story and have to find it out.
And bravo to that race with Jimmie Johnson! It was pure, unadulterated fun. Also, no chemicals were sprayed on Stephen, which is a good thing. Mr. Branson, take heed. That’s how a mock fight with Stephen should be carried out.
All this, an homage to Yo Yo Ma and a diss to Herman Cain (how touching!), and we have a fantastic show.
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I really hope someone does a dance remix of William Tapley saying “phallic”.
I thoroughly enjoyed the interview and chair race. I have no idea how Stephen can still have energy left in his tank after the busy weekend he’s had. The man is a machine!!
As an avid Pokemon fan, I really cannot understand how a quote from the ‘Pokemon Movie’ is the most appropriate quote to use when suspending a presidential campaign. But thank you Herman Cain for making Pokemon even more enjoyable, and to the folks over at ‘The Daily Show’ fior their Mewtwo and SlowKing references!!
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Mr. Arkadin Reply:
December 7th, 2011 at 8:19 AM
“As an avid Pokemon fan, I really cannot understand how a quote from the ‘Pokemon Movie’ is the most appropriate quote to use when suspending a presidential campaign.”
It’s worse than that, Katt. He used that same quote in a republican debate! As a matter of fact he unveiled the the line by saying, “A poet once said, Life can be a challenge…”
This lead Rachel Maddow to proclaim, a few weeks back, that Cain is an performance artist masquerading as an presidential candidate. I think she was right!
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Katt Reply:
December 7th, 2011 at 11:58 PM
At what point does that sound like a good idea? Did no one remind that it is the age of the internet, and that it literally takes seconds to fact check that. Maybe they just like being late night bait. Unbelievable.
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Susan209 Reply:
December 8th, 2011 at 12:56 AM
So true. Come to think of it, the man loves pizza, knows lines from Pokemon, doesn’t understand adults when they’re talking, clearly has no respect for “girls”… I get it! Everything he ever knew he learned in Kindergarten! The man is five years old!
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A picture of Ronald Reagan saying, “Scooby Doo, Where are you? We’ve got some work to do now.”
TEARS!!! Laughing so hard it’s just… TEARS!!!
That was the BEST.
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Wow, the studio’s immaculate! I wonder how long it took the staff to clean up all that fire extinguisher agent…probably took part of the weekend while Stephen was away…but yeah, fun show! I wonder if that 5-hour energy stuff really works…Stephen seemed to really perk up after intaking just a drop. Hope he didn’t end up staying up too late because of it (if it worked). The whole MotU bit was just a big “WTF?” moment for me. I’m glad that Herman Cain is gone, and I was happy with how Jon and Stephen sent him off in their own unique ways, though I’m sure they’re sad to see him go; he was perfect comedy fodder. I thought I would be bored with the interview, since I don’t really like race car driving, but Jimmie made it surprisingly interesting and entertaining for me to listen to, and it didn’t hurt that he was yummy to look at. Mmmm. And I completely lost it at the sight of the two of them racing around the interview table and trying to overtake each other by grabbing each other’s chair. Too funny! That, and the Scooby Doo part. lol!
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“I wonder if that 5-hour energy stuff really works…Stephen seemed to really perk up after intaking just a drop.”
The first time I drank a bottle I quite literally could have fist fought a shark and won. Every time after that, it barely had any effect. But boy that first time became the stuff of legend where I worked at the time.
Great episode. I thought it was fitting that the Tapley fellow even looked a bit like Freud. And the epilogue from Cain’s book killed me. What an exciting twist ending! Oh and Jimmy Johnson’s welcome back anytime, even if he just wants to sit in the corner and look pretty. [/shallow]
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Anyone know where we can see the entire vid of Colbert honoring yo yo ma, all I’ve found is highlights?
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Katt Reply:
December 8th, 2011 at 11:28 PM
The 34th Kennedy Center Honors will be broadcast at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Dec. 27 on CBS.
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