October 24, 2012 — Anthony Everitt

The Colbert Report Episode GuideEPISODE NUMBER: 9015 (October 24, 2012)
GUESTS: Anthony Everitt
SEGMENTS: Donald Trump’s October Surprise | Nonstop Libya-Gate Questions | Richard Mourdock’s Rape Comment | Sign Off – GOP Rape Mention Tally
SUIT REPORT: Dark suit | White shirt | Red/black/white stripped tie
VIDEOS: Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Trump Jack-O-Lantern

That’s right. He has to have it together by five o’clock on Halloween. Because that night he is renting out his enormous orange head as a Jack-o-Lantern.

Stephen Colbert challenges Donald Trump

Mr. Trump — I will write you a check for $1 million from Colbert Super PAC, you know I’ve got it, to the charity of your choice — anything, Save the Children, Feed the Children, put the children on ‘Child Apprentice’, whatever — $1 million actual dollars if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth.

Balls in Trumps Mouth

My balls must be in your mouth no later than 5PM, October 31st. My balls have a thing that night. Now nothing, nothing would make me happier than to write this check, and nothing would make America happier than to have something going into your mouth, instead of coming out of it.

Colbert in the Crowd

If you put a statement in the form of question, is that journalism?

Stephen Colbert's dressing room

Did I have time to wash my hands just now? It didn’t seem like it, did it. Speaking of assertions. Are they more heinous assertions that I could be pulling out of my arse?

Peter Johnson Jnr euphamism

Even more troubling. Why does Peter Johnson Jnr. have a name that is three euphemisms for penis?

Colbert Treadmill

Is there anything more to say about this story, or are we on some sort of metaphorical treadmill? And, is that bad for our metaphorical needs? Should we really be using a metaphorical elliptical? But ultimately the question is, how many questions do we have to ask before voters forget President Obama killed Osama Bin Laden.

GOP's Without Rape Mention

Hold on. Just let me update my ‘GOP’s Without Rape Mention’ board.

Some political careers they end so quickly

What can you say. Some political careers, they end so quickly.

Team Rape

Together I like to call these guys ‘Team Rape’ — which they probably wouldn’t appreciate, but c’mon they’re kinda asking for it.

As an ancient history scholar myself, though not versed in Latin, it was a nice change to hear an interview on a subject I actually know a bit about. If anyone is interested in reading about Elagabalus (or Heliogabalus) Cassius Dio’s ‘Roman History’ Book LXXIX and LXXX are a good place to start. As is Book 5 of ‘Herodian’.

If anyone out there can speak Latin, please do let us know what Stephen said!!