December 15, 2011 — Daniel Craig

Stephen Colbert's South Carolina Serious, Classy Republican Debate - Network Battle with Stephen Colbert and Cesar Millan. No date yet, just clear your f***ing calender!!

But no African Grey Parrots. They have a bigger vocabulary than Rick Perry.

What other holidays have trees? Are we going to offend the Shinto Winter Bonsai Festival?

Look what happened when I tried to wrap my wife's present. This is a pair of earrings.

Listen up Fat Man! The whole point of you being at the mall is to up sell these kids. Little Johnny asks you for an xBox, you remind him how much cooler he'd be with a Kinect, a 1 Year xBox Live Gold Subscription and every 'Call of Duty' game.You'd don't say 'Ho! Ho! Ho! Nothing can match the 3D graphic's of your imagination. If a kid asks you for something too expensive, you do the responsible thing and tell him he hasn't been good enough.

Oh Father Christmas if you love me at all, let me ride!

Nothing says Christmas like an AK-47! And even if it doesn't, with an AK-47 you can make Christmas say anything you want it to.

What's that Sweetness? Yes, I think there might be some armour-piercing bullets under the tree.

I hand wash all my sweater vests.