EPISODE NUMBER: 10060 (February 6, 2014)
GUEST: Paul Krugman
SEGMENTS: Obama & the Keystone XL Pipeline | Sochi Olympics Cry-athlon | Tip/Wag – TSA Peeping Toms, Domino’s Pizza Artists & Federal Judges | Paul Krugman | Sign Off – Welcome Baby Eli!
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Gold/Silver/Navy Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, February 6, 2014
Obama & the Keystone XL Pipeline
Stephen is saying “I told you so” to Obama for delaying on the Keystone XL pipeline. There was a report recently released that says there will be minimal impact on the environment if Keystone is built.
- “Last week, his strategic excuse reserve ran dry”
- “The pipeline will provide us with much needed fossil fuels. Speaking of fossils, Bill O’Reilly”
Bill pressed Obama on the pipeline. He obviously thinks it should be built and even though Obama said he was still looking into the process of getting it built, Bill says at the end of the exchange, “I’ll take that as a yes”.
- You heard President O’Reilly. He said yes to the Keystone XL pipeline and that’s why I love Bill. He’s not only asking the hard hitting questions, he’s providing the hard hitting answers.
Since it’s inevitable, Stephen wants America to get in on the action.
“I say we drown the polar bears in the San Diego Zoo. Then they could charge $200 per person to watch. That money could go to the World Wildlife Fund and they can use it to help the polar bears, because otherwise those guys are doomed”
Sochi Olympics Cry-athlon
Russia is in terrible condition. Hotels have no water, but the water is full of contaminants. The signs say not to flush toilet paper, instead you have to throw it in the trash.
- Okay, that’s a little rough, but on the bright side, the secret police probably won’t go through your trash now.
Also, some of the sidewalks haven’t been paved and some of the manholes are not covered.
Russia is holding up the US’ Chobani greek yogurt at the airport.
- All these problems can be solved. Sochi still has almost (looks at watch) nine hours before the Olympics begin.
Tip/Wag – TSA Peeping Toms, Domino’s Pizza Artists & Federal Judges
The TSA has been accused of mocking passengers who are being scanned. They supposedly gawk at people who are overweight.
- Now everyone’s going to be self conscious about traveling. You’ll have to get in shape for every flight like it’s your wedding day.
Domino’s pizza makers are getting a little too snooty. They are equating the art they make in their spare time with making Domino’s Pizza.
“I finally get Domino’s. It’s not pizza, it’s art. At first blush, it appears ephemeral, a protean mass of meats and cheeses but after a night on the counter it’s as dense and impenetrable as Rodan’s Gates of Hell. Although, I gotta say, still pretty good when you’re drunk.”
Federal judges have ruled that you have the right to flash your lights at other drivers to warn them of an upcoming speed trap. It’s just like Paul Revere’s ride.
Interview – Paul Krugman
Stephen: Have you read the report? Have you read the report? I have not, therefore, I get to claim anything I want Paul Krugman.
Mr. Krugman explains that the jobs are not being killed, it is a case where people are leaving their jobs voluntarily because now they can just get health insurance wherever and whenever they want.
Stephen was a tollbooth operator on the New Jersey turnpike when Jon Stewart drove up and gave him a show. That must be true because he’s told that one before, right?
Stephen keeps hammering on the idea of redistribution of wealth and Krugman says that he’s okay with that a little, but he also says that’s what insurance is all about, pooling people’s money.
He had better eat that sub before it gets cold.