July 18, 2013 – Jeff Bridges

The Colbert Report episode guide EPISODE NUMBER: 9125 (July 18, 2013)
GUEST: Jeff Bridges | Eliot Spitzer
SEGMENTS: Edward Snowden’s Asylum Option | Political Sex Scandals & New York City Elections | Political Sex Scandals & New York City Elections – Eliot Spitzer | Breaking News on College Sex | Sign Off – “Operation Javelin”
SUIT REPORT: Dark Suit | White Shirt | Maroon/Purple/White Striped Tie
VIDEOS: Thursday, July 18, 2013

This could be the best part of the show. What do you think?

Stephen Colbert Gangnam Style gif

Stephen was in a singing mood at the opening of the show. It sounded like “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”. I wonder if that was a part of the pre-show Q&A?

Stephen Colbert sings The Lion King

Edward Snowden’s Asylum Option

Lindsey Grahams Olympic boycott

“Republican senator Lindsey Graham says that the United States should consider boycotting the [Olympics] if Russia gives the NSA leaker [Edward Snowden] asylum.

Lindsey Graham: I love the Olympics, but I hate what the Russian government is doing throughout the world. If they give asylum to a person who I believe has committed treason against the United States, that’s taking it to a new level … If you could go back in time, would you have allowed Adolf Hitler to host the Olympics in Germany?”

Stephen Colbert: Yes, good point. If you could go back in time and stop Hitler from doing anything, it would surely be hosting the 1936 Berlin Olympics. That is, without question, my number one Hitler related time travel fantasy.

Political Sex Scandals & New York City Elections

Mayor Filner, the San Diego mayor, has been outed as someone who tends to put the moves on his female staff so much so that their moves to avoid him have been dubbed the “Filner Dance”.

“Yes, the Filner Dance. Because sexual harassment Gangnam Style is so 2012” (see gif at top of post)

He’s truly sorry, but he’s not resigning. Why should he? Mark Sanford didn’t.

Anthony Weiner is back too, as we all know. If Mark Sanford can make a comeback, I mean, hey, what Weiner did is small potatoes. Maybe not that small. (pun intended)

“No surprise New Yorkers are willing to overlook Weiner’s previous indiscretions. I mean, if they were disturbed by seeing exposed genitals, no one would ride the subway.”

Political Sex Scandals & New York City Elections – Eliot Spitzer

Stephen Colbert: Given a position of this responsibility, shouldn’t the job of comptroller go to someone who has shown a modicum of self-comp-trol?
Eliot Spitzer: Yes … you are right.

Eliot Spitzer on The Colbert Report

Stephen: Why do you want this job? Because before you had your fall from Grace … or whatever her name was …

Eliot: *laughs*
Stephen: You were the governor of the state. Aren’t you at one and the same time both above and below this job?

Stephen: It seems that voters are more forgiving than they used to be. Do you think that signals progress for our country, or the slow decay of our moral values?
Eliot: Wow. Wow. That’s a tough one.
Stephen: This ain’t Charlie Rose, motherf***er.

Breaking News on College Sex

The New York Times has posted a story that reveals that college kids (GASP!) are having lots of sex! WO! That is news. Where have I been?

Stephen brings out the author of a study from the 1940’s to break it down…

Henry: Rubbing bathing suit areas! Tippie canoe and doing it too! Taking a ride on the Bone Zeppelin! Playing the old hoop and stick!

…and then asks Stephen for a recommendation for a college application. Stephen agrees.

Stephen Colbert on College sex“I’m gonna get some tail!”

Interview – Jeff Bridges

His new movie is called R.I.P.D. and it’s about a police dept. full of dead people who capture other dead people who haven’t quite moved on so they may, I assume, RIP.

Stephen: So you kill ghosts again.
Jeff: Yeah, you could say that, those who refuse to die.
Stephen: Would you go so far as to say you bust ghosts, in a way?
Jeff: In a way, yeah.

Jeff Bridges on The Colbert Report

Stephen: Are you really this relaxed or are you bullsh*tting relaxed?
Jeff: Stephen, Stephen, I am an actor. This is an act.
Stephen: Really?

Jeff has anxiety so in order to relieve it, he makes a sound like an eagle.

Jeff Bridges eagle

Jeff’s impression of an eagle, or perhaps a red tailed hawk?

However, Stephen reveals it’s not actually an eagle making the sound at the beginning of the show.

Stephen: I hate to burst your bubble, that’s not an eagle. That’s a red-tailed hawk … eagles have a little anaemic chirp and I wanted a bird that sounded like it was swingin’ some balls.

Jeff also talked about his work with “End Hunger Network” to help fight childhood hunger. If you text “Food” to 877877, you can find out about programs during the summer to get kids into summer meal programs.

Sign-Off: Goodnight!

Stephen Colbert Operation Javelin

  • CN Helper

    Only Stephen would be able to rattle off a pitch-perfect impression of an eagle in his little impromptu bird sound-off with Jeff Bridges. But did he just admit that the screaming eagle at the opening of the show, is, um, not quite accurate? It’s bird fraud! All this time I thought it was an authentic eagle. I feel misled ;p

    My God and Spitzer! Stephen hit him hard with some really tough questions. Interesting that he referenced Sanford a few times too.

  • Clem

    THAT GIF!! I think I passed out there for a moment. Hehe!

    Now that I’ve come to —
    I loved Stephen singing at the start of the show! “A-wimoweh, a-wimoweh…”

    I read that Times article and thought, “This is NEWS? You’ve got to be kidding me.” I liked what Stephen had to say about it. It always cracks me up when he talks about “the sex.”

    The interview with Eliot Spitzer was quite jaw-dropping. Awesome job, Stephen! “This ain’t Charlie Rose, motherf***er.”

    The Jeff Bridges interview was great. I was looking forward to it because I really like Jeff Bridges and I enjoyed his previous appearance on The Report. I was actually really touched by what Stephen said about heaven.

    Now the question is — Where can I get a copy of ‘Operation Javelin?’

    • llama

      I did know that was not an eagle at the show’s opening. I think I’ve known for a couple of years, however, when I found out I too felt a little misled.
      Clem, as soon as I saw Stephen doing the Gangam Style thing, I had to put it up as a gif. One still shot doesn’t capture it. Thanks!

      • Clem

        Great GIF or the greatest GIF? Awesome work, Llama! πŸ™‚

  • StephenSmile64

    Great show and I love the Spitzer internview! When Stephen announced him as the guest, I yelled, “Oh, no way! He is actually here! This is going to be great!” And boy, was I right….motherfu**er! πŸ™‚

    Ok, so you may have remembered a while back, I noticed that Stephen had multiple band-aides on both his hands(fingers) and this happened a few times within a short period of time! Well…it’s baaaaaack!!!!! During last night’s “Breaking News on College Sex” segment, I noticed two on his left hand and one on his right. However, they are not there for the rest of the show. Of course, I can’t leave well enough alone, so I had to look back at the night before’s show….and lo and behold…BAND-AIDES! So, this means two things…1) they taped the “college sex” segment the night before and 2.) He has more band-aides on his fingers (hey, I never said I had a reason for the band-aides, other than they were on his fingers Wednesday night). πŸ˜‰ So, this begs the question…why the band-aides? He hasn’t arm wrestled in a while, so that theory is out the window! Maybe he got into a pre-interview brawl with Jerry Seinfeld! Maybe he bruised his fingers when he was figuring out the state of racism in America on his calculator! So many theories, so few answers!


    • llama

      Well spotted on the bandaids! I think I’ll have to re-watch it now.

    • Katt

      Not only have the band aids returned, but he wore the exact same suit and tie combo on both Wed and Thur nights shows.

      • StephenSmile64

        Exactly! I think since they had an extended Jerry Seinfeld interview, they probably didn’t have the time to air the “college sex” segment. So, they aired it on Thursday instead. And not to make it look obvious, they had him wear the same suit/tie combination. I’ve noticed they’ve done that a couple of times before in the past.

  • Tay

    You guys are right! I was at the taping and Stephen filmed the college sex bit on Wednesday (not Thursday), because he had to leave early to catch a train to DC. He said he was filming “better know a district” segments in DC on Friday. Yay! And he started the show singing the Lion Sleeps Tonight b/c someone asked him to sing the high parts during the Q&A and he kept messing up haha. Love him!

    • Clem

      It must have been so cool to be there! Thank you for sharing!

  • Caroline

    I love the part of the Jeff Bridges interview where they talk about whether they could be in the afterlife right now. And Stephen says, “I really love my life … I think the people I spend my time with in the day, my family and everything, those people. you know, should I be so lucky to go to heaven, those people are the people I’m gonna wanna spend heaven – I’m gonna look for in heaven.”

    That’s such a sweet sentiment. And you could see Jeff Bridges was right there with him. Loved it (and it made up for the distaste of having to see Elliot Sptizer earlier in the show. Yuck).